I Wanna Be Like Skippy Too!
So what does a married soldier do as soon as he gets home from a long deployment? If you do not know this answer, you aren’t married, and have no imagination.
About three weeks ago my wife approached me when I was most distracted. I was playing COD:MW2. All she did was hand me what I thought was a pen and walk out of the room. It wasn’t a pen. It was an E.P.T. with a digital readout and the word not was nowhere to be seen. After receiving six unanswered head-shots I snapped out of my stunned stupor, and celebrated my upcoming child with the appropriate level of exuberance. I called every phone number in my cell phone to tell people I hadn’t talked to in over 3 years I was going to be a father.
Last week after the routine check-up and ultrasound she walked out with a small photo of my still developing child, or should I say children. So once again the phone was ripped from my pocket and I started dialing. Of course by this time I was so hyped that when my bestest friend in the whole world for the thirty seconds it would take to tell him/her didn’t answer I threw my phone down in a fit of pique and broke it. So I used my wife’s phone and had to manually dial all the numbers I could remember.
Yesterday we got out of the doc’s office with a new ultrasound. Have you ever heard of HMS? I’m not talking about some British battleship, but hidden multiples syndrome. It seems the original ultrasound was either wrong, or we’re having identical/fraternal triplets (two identical and one fraternal). The docs don’t know for sure yet, but they will be letting us know as soon as they do. And yes, I called everyone I had stored in my old phone on my new one.
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April 26th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Congratulations! Welcome to the land of the sleep deprived!
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April 26th, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Congratulations Soon you will be like me.
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April 26th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
You remember that part from the marriage where it went “Speak now or forever hold your peace?” It was really “Sleep now or forever hold your peace.”
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April 26th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
When I got pregnant with my first son, my darling husband suggested that I should have twins. (Like I have a choice in the matter?) He pointed out that it would be twice the work, but it would be over twice as quickly then if we did 2 single births. I told him that if I did have twins, then he better start lactating because I was planning on breast feeding and he was going to help! Fortunately for our kids, we had 2 single births. I don’t want to think about the hair balls the kids would have gotten nursing off of their father’s chest.
BTW, Andrew, congratulations. You’re never going to sleep again and anything you own that’s nice, kiss it goodbye.
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Maven reply on May 21st, 2010 8:10 pm:
You forgot ‘never get to pee or bathe alone for the next 16 years’ part. Of course Skippy and Janice aren’t to that blissful stage yet…
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TheShadowCat reply on May 21st, 2010 8:29 pm:
Oh too true, too true. Of course, I had that problem before I had kids. What is it with husbands that they just have to talk to you the instant your butt hits that seat.
CAPTCHA – mystique MIG-23’s
If Mystique can pilot a helicopter, why not a MIG too?
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April 26th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
LOL .. I was gonna say.. Skippy’s fertility is apparently contagious!
Be sure to properly thank him when sleep is a vague, fond, memory.. :)
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skippy reply on April 26th, 2010 11:19 pm:
I warned everybody. They didn’t listen.
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TheShadowCat reply on April 27th, 2010 7:00 am:
It’s not Skippy that’s overly fertile. It’s Mrs. Skippy who’s obviously contagious. Men produce the same amount of sperm each time, but it’s the woman’s body that decides to produce 2 or more eggs. I’m not sure if they’ve figured out why eggs split, so that’s still a mystery to me.
And this concludes the biology lesson for today.
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Janice reply on April 27th, 2010 7:08 am:
Actually, we usually use this as proof that I really don’t do anything halfway. ;-D
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TheShadowCat reply on April 27th, 2010 9:02 am:
Which is as it should be. ;-D
Shadowydreamer reply on April 27th, 2010 9:37 am:
Yes.. but its more fun to blame Mr Skippy rather than Mrs Skippy.. because we all know, us women are never at fault. :)
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TheShadowCat reply on April 28th, 2010 6:44 am:
Trust me, there are probably plenty of other things Mr. Skippy can be blamed for. Mrs. Skippy probably has a whole laundry list.
April 27th, 2010 at 7:30 am
oh god, my husband comes home in July.. I should probably stop reading skippy now so that I don’t catch it.
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April 27th, 2010 at 11:04 am
Congratulations, and enjoy never sleeping again, sir.
Does the military automatically make a man super-potent or something? Or is it just that military wives are two to three times as balls-to-the-wall (pun intended) as civvy wives? Or is it a combination of these two factors?
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paula reply on April 29th, 2010 10:00 am:
nah: they’ve just got a whole lotta loving’ saved up!
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April 27th, 2010 at 11:39 am
captcha- “rascally been”
That defines Skippys state. Now he must pass the mantle of rascallyness to his brood.
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April 27th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Are you sure they aren’t just calving and budding in there? If you have five or six of them on the next ultrasound, I would advise looking into that.
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April 27th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Andrew you just had to one up Skippy didn’t you.
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April 27th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Congratulations!
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April 28th, 2010 at 2:58 am
Well this’ll make my dreaming-of-being-a-grandma sister happy: her son just got home from Afghanistan last week, and he promptly disappearred on a Caribbean cruise with his lovely bride…..
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April 28th, 2010 at 7:43 am
You straight persons and your babies. I want some, too! Fork that extra one over, two will be more than enough.
(My partner and I are taking a class in How To Adopt this summer. Hope I don’t flunk).
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kat reply on April 29th, 2010 8:26 am:
One of my good friends is a PA who adopted a girl from South America. Her partner left here after she couldn’t get pregnant (they tried AS). Sweetest little kid ever. She knows that she has another mommy somewhere, but she tells Libby, “I love you because you’re my real mommy”
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Speed reply on May 1st, 2010 7:02 am:
My wife and I adopted our son years ago.
RE the class & testing: I’m not saying I gave the answers they were looking for, but they did ‘telegraph their swing’ a lot.
On boys vs girls: I have a son and a full head of hair. My brother has a girl and does not. Coincidence? You decide.
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Devil Doc reply on May 3rd, 2010 5:37 pm:
my wife and I adopted through child protective services. Often times children from this country in foster care for whatever reason cannot go back to the situations they came out of. in the case of us and our son the final cost to adopt a wonderful at that time 5 year old was 1 dollar. 2 years later and I am still sleep deprived but my little boy said he wants to be a Marine when he grows up.
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April 28th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Congratulations sir. I’m sure your parents and former CO’s are reading this and hoping that your kids will be just as much of a handful as you were XD
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April 28th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
The multiples business is all your wife’s fault, not yours.
You haven’t mentioned the gender of the little ones yet. Presumably because you don’t yet know. Perhaps it is too soon. But there is something to ponder.
Daughters… daughters… raising daughters is a man’s karmic payback for all of the indiscretions of his youth. Indeed I think you’ll find that healthy first-hand experience with a variety of illicit youthful indiscretions will come handy in the coming years, assuming you have daughters in this litter, when it comes time to deal with such nightmare scenarios as “dating” and “he is picking me up in his uncle’s red Camaro convertible” and “Daddy, sit down we need to talk”.
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kat reply on April 29th, 2010 8:29 am:
That is true. My husband was definitely… hmmm… a manwhore, lol. Now he has three girls. He tried to tell me we’re just going to keep trying until he gets his boy. I’m thinking not.
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May 2nd, 2010 at 10:17 pm
So tommorrow we may be able to find out the genders of the children. We are going in for an ultrasound checkup and dopler. I get to hear my childerns hearbeats for the first time. I’m all sorts of excited…
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Andrew reply on May 3rd, 2010 7:27 pm:
Well one is definately a boy… the others were a little shy. Every time the sonographer moved the picture taking gizmo-thingy to a place where we might see the genders they’d move. One even crossed their feet and “sat” on them so the ultrasound couldn’t see their junk. Oh well… June 1 is the next picture taking session.
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May 21st, 2010 at 8:15 pm
LOL! Benny HATED the ultrasound and tried his damnedest to kick it off my belly.
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