July 8th, 2011 by skippy
- “From my cold, dead, sticky hands!” Michelle Bachmann pledges to ban pornography. In related news Michelle Bachmann is still a fucking idiot.
- Giligan’s Island Larp Goes Horribly Awry.
- Canadian Teen saves Scotland from a level 2 zombie outbreak, and this is the thanks he gets.
- I am probably taking the wrong lesson away from this, but evidently you can steal valuable and rare paintings by just walking out of the museum with them.
- So it turns out that hacking the voice mail of crime and terrorism victims as part of investigative journalism is too far. Bonus: They actually interfered in a criminal investigation involving a missing woman.
- Nancy Grace may have inadvertently caused Casey Anthony’s acquittal in a blinding flash of irony.
- Speaking of irony: When selecting a security company to protect your money, you may want to go with the guys who were not robbed like it was a bad 80’s action movie.
- Useful tip: If a bunny tells you to burn things, you might want to consider getting a second opinion. Satan doesn’t count.
- As a general rule, your local PTA is probably not the place to pick up get-rich-quick investment tips.
- Off Lot Entertainment loses a bet, and must now produce the Space Invaders movie.
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July 8th, 2011 at 4:13 pm
I’m picturing a parody of those NRA/Survivalist “Just try and take our guns” ads, with people clutching rifles. This new one would be captioned “just try and take our porn” and they’d be clutching um… “Rifles.”
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July 8th, 2011 at 10:35 pm
1. Sorry, Skippy, I missed the part where the pledge said she would ban pornagraphy. Am I having a bad reading comprehension day? I’ll reread it.
Not that I’m a fan of Michelle Bachman – she’s *scary*. That video is just surreal. She’s a *tax attorney* – at least she has a degree in it. Does she really not understand basic economics? Or is she just willing to say anything, no matter how idiotic?
6. I think this guy may be right!
8. I personally never take advice from bunnies – they’re all evil. He should have consulted a squirrel. The squirrels in my neighborhood give lots of good advice.
10. How can there be a Space Invaders *movie*? There’s no story to the game! Of course, that won’t bother anyone in Hollywood.
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AFP reply on July 9th, 2011 2:17 pm:
Mind you, with no story to get in the way, they could make pretty much any story about space fighters fighting a horde of enemy attackers. It could be awesome.
Of course, if your wife gets pregnant and it wasn’t you, it might just be the Messiah. Not a huge chance, but it’s possible.
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Susan reply on July 11th, 2011 1:13 am:
OK, I did some more research online, and I see the antipornography part.
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July 9th, 2011 at 8:23 am
In response to point 1 I wish to submit a song from over here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjzpKxw6Qxo
So please stick up your free hand with me…
I also have to agree with the squirrel comment. Rabbits tell way too many lies.
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July 9th, 2011 at 9:00 am
Re: 8
Is anyone else imagining Ralph Wiggum from when The Simpsons was good? “This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. And that’s where the leprechaun tells me to burn things. At my house, we call them ‘uh-ohs.'”
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July 9th, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Thank you, Skippy, for your concise exposition of the latest news. I especially like the part of #1 that took me to the Michelle Bachmann quote site. I have shared it on Facebook and taken one of its quotes as my status there. Now I need to go change my underwear cuz I laughed so hard I peed myself a lil……
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Brianna reply on July 9th, 2011 9:05 pm:
Oh, and I bookmarked the site, too!
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July 11th, 2011 at 8:22 am
don’t know about squirrels or bunnies, but my cat and the hedgehogs my mother keeps feeding every night have interesting ideas.
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July 11th, 2011 at 9:03 am
Never had any regard for tabloid journalism, but that entire ‘News Of The World’ phone-hacking/bribery thing just keeps getting better and better.
Me, I’m just sitting back and enjoying the show.
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July 11th, 2011 at 9:09 am
Regarding Ms Bachmann. The big question I have for her is this – does she actually listen to the stuff that comes out of her mouth?
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July 18th, 2011 at 1:00 am
In regards to the pledge mentioned in #1: It requires prompt reform of anti-marriage aspects of divorce law. Which aspects of divorce law would you say are anti-marriage, aside from, well, all of them? :-D
Maybe that’s the point, but it seems like they could have just said “Outlaw divorce” and it would have been a lot less wordy.
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