Regarding My New Policy
First of all, I should have predicted how my readers would have reacted to my last post on this subject.
Some people were wondering about my new policy regarding spam on my site. Truth be told, WordPress has a plethora of plugins and functions designed to catch spammers, provided that the site owner is even halfway paying attention. Nobody managed to slip a spam ad onto my site.
Some guy just tried to.
And that alone would not normally have been enough to annoy me. I have a web site. I get spam bots. It happens.
But normally the spammers at least have the decency to try to badly lie about what they are doing. A few times a week I have to clear a “This was an interesting and timely article! I think that some crappy site has another excellent post on this subject!” And if you click the link you get ads for boner pills, or Snookie’s new book, or some other form of electronic STD. Although to be fair the point isn’t really to get anyone to click the link. The point is to get Google to notice the link, and go “Well look at all these blogs that are linking to this guy’s site….he must be important, move him to the top of the pile”.
But this guy didn’t try to hide what he was doing. He just wrote out a quick plug for his chimney repair business, and added a link.
Since most spammers don’t work that way, I decided to check out the business site. Looks like any other badly designed small business website. My first instinct then was to take pity on the poor bricklayer. He clearly didn’t know much about the Internet, and he hired a shady outfit to do search engine optimization for him.
And then I took another look at the spam. He had filled out the email section on the comment. With his Gmail account. A Gmail account that had the same name as the business owner. I did a search of this email account and found several businesses to his name. There was his brick laying business. His real estate investment business. And his Internet marketing business.
So a guy who collects money for helping people reach customers online is putting spam on my site. Further research showed that he evidently teaches Internet marketing at a college (although he declines to name which one) and has been hired to conduct SEO for several national chains (but for some reason he won’t tell us which ones).
So I have no problem at all in concluding that this guy is a dishonest asshole.
Now the way I see it, this website is is several things. It’s a creative outlet. It’s a source of small amounts of revenue. And it’s MINE.
It is a collection of art some written, some graphical, that help me keep myself entertained. And he vandalized my art, for the purpose of promoting his own interests.
It is to a tiny extent a business. People buy the occasional t-shirt or poster. They give me free content in exchange for plugs for their own pet projects. And they pay me to advertise their businesses. Not much, but it adds up by the end of the year. Thus, he stole from me, something which has value. That is money that could be going into my children’s college fund.
He might as well have reached into my kid’s skulls and ripped the knowledge out of their tiny and defenseless brains. “I’m sorry progeny, I’d love to send you to college, but some asshole in Michigan just had to try and push his site .02% higher in the Google rankings. Go work at Luby’s or something.”
So for your amusement I have collected some facts about this man.
His name is Mark Maupin. (He also goes by Ralph.)
Here is the business he spammed me with:
Crappy Brick Laying Company
248-895-7752
Review sites for this business:
http://www.sitejabber.com/reviews/www.michiganchimneyrepair.com
http://www.feyrr.com/biz_page.php?id=16&page=write_review
Here’s another business of his:
Crappy Internet Marketing Company
He’ll even sell you adbots….classy…
248-762-0800
248-939-6232
http://www.facebook.com/MichiganInternetMarketing?sk=app_6261817190
Still another business:
Crappy Real Estate Investment Company
248-762-0800
Office Address:
1655 Highland Pk Dr,
Highland MI 48356
He also has about 30 blogs for each business and about a million articles on every subject under the sun all linking to each other in a desperate attempt to make them all look larger and more important than they actually are.
Now please, everybody do not go to each of his businesses and click on everything you can in an attempt to drive up his bandwidth usage into a higher category. Don’t click on his links here so that he can see a giant spike in traffic from a site calling him an ass. Don’t use the information I posted to prank call him. Or sign him up for alternative lifestyle dating sites. Definitely don’t use his phone number to place an ad for a gay prostitute of Backpage.com. Don’t leave negative feedback on the review sites of his businesses. Don’t flood his sites with nasty comments. Don’t do any of these things, even if we can all agree that he probably deserves them and it would be really funny.
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June 3rd, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Thy will not to be done….
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June 3rd, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Ooops, you said “don’t”, oh well.
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June 3rd, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Did “BURN!!!!” come before or after “RAPE N PILLAGE!!!!!”? =)
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The_Henchman reply on June 3rd, 2011 2:57 pm:
Before. Somethings are just better by firelight.
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Mere reply on June 3rd, 2011 7:25 pm:
After, actually.
You’d burn all the good stuff, wouldn’t you?
Unless you prefer to rape corpses.
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Psychlycan reply on June 4th, 2011 1:00 am:
Well, maybe there are some necrophiliacs out there that like to pillage, but they probably end up settling with simple grave-robbing.
Enigmatick reply on June 4th, 2011 2:32 am:
I forget; is it rape the horses and ride off on the women, or the other way around?
Sequoia reply on June 4th, 2011 8:47 am:
No, it’s burn the women and rape the houses.
ShuttleZ reply on June 6th, 2011 10:25 pm:
Mere, is it bad that the first thing I thought of when I saw your reply is a joke that goes, “rigor mortis makes me hard”?
June 3rd, 2011 at 3:51 pm
This looks like a job for…. padbuster….
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Andrew reply on June 3rd, 2011 3:53 pm:
BTW… I’ll probably peak out his monthly bandwidth tonight, but I’m at work so I’m going to have to wait till I get home.
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June 3rd, 2011 at 4:25 pm
we are not ur army annon…. o wait wrong site… well I got unlimited bandwith for 48 hours and the droid browser can select # of time to open a web page ok a coplu 100 can’t hurt right? also what better way to bench mark this thing XD
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AFP reply on June 3rd, 2011 7:02 pm:
Now I’m tryign to picture a Skippy version of Anon. Same basic logo, but wrinkly BDUs and a cup of coffee?
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June 3rd, 2011 at 9:57 pm
are you cool with 90% of a high school calling his buisness at once and rick rolling him?
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Gwenyvier reply on June 3rd, 2011 10:52 pm:
I think that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard. Youtube maybe?
~Gwen
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David B reply on February 24th, 2014 3:22 pm:
Did you go to Fondy High? When I was a freshman, the Senior Class did that to this guy.
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June 4th, 2011 at 7:22 am
Skuppy, I feel terrible.
Disobeyed your explicit instructions not to do so, but I used the links you so kindly provided. Visited a few of those sites (despite your explicit instructions not to), and put up negative reviews and an honest message or two.
I am so very ashamed and apologize unreservedly to you and your family for this lapse (and for any other related things I might do). One hopes that you can find it in your hesrts to forgive me eventually.
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Ian M reply on June 4th, 2011 7:24 am:
Please take the various typos in the above mesasage as indications of my immense guilt and self-loathing in this matter.
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June 4th, 2011 at 12:48 pm
“Mark Maupin first became involved with real estate in 1981 when his wife gave him a choice of ballroom dance or real estate classes.” Right. That sounds like a choice a live person would offer.
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June 4th, 2011 at 12:55 pm
If you need throw-away e-mail addresses (for site-jabber for instance) try spamgourmet.com I’ve been using them for years. They’re free and good, though there is sometimes a delay so you can’t use them for anything super-important.
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June 4th, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Against your express wishes I did some naughty things, Skippy. In my defense I must admit that I got mad and did them before I read all of your message. I don’t like people messing with my friends. *hangs head in shame.
BTW, he completely redid his facebook page last night. All of our honest opinions disappeared. Now the most recent posts are his from March 21st. *giggles*
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June 4th, 2011 at 2:12 pm
So how does it feel to have your own internet militia, Skippy? And how do you plan on turning that into a real militia?
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June 4th, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Skippy, remember, use your power for good, not evil!
Also, remember kids, pillage FIRST, then burn! It’s important to get your process right.
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June 5th, 2011 at 5:14 am
Strange, because mason is an inherently local business. Why spam a site of national interest? Would make more sense to spam groups local interest, stuff “ZOMG! they’re tearing down our movie theater for a drugstore! lets do something about it.” or school reunin sites.
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June 8th, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Skippy, I bow to you.
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June 8th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Hmm… I know someone who lives a few blocks from there. Want photos?
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skippy reply on June 9th, 2011 10:57 am:
Of course not. That would be harassment and I don’t approve of that.
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June 16th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Gay prostitute ads aren’t as effective as you’d think.
What really works is a craigslist ad for a used Civic or nice furniture set, etc., asking somewhat below the market value. Post a few and your target pretty much has to get a new phone number.
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June 19th, 2011 at 10:43 am
Wow, I just read some of his reviews. All he needs is a stetson and lasso for his logo.
T.
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June 20th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
All I can say is that I got a huge kick out of this one. I’m sure that dude has begun to see the error of his ways. Now it’s time to make him really hurt. Mercy is something that shouldn’t be reserved for such as him.
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January 14th, 2016 at 8:27 am
This site is like a classroom, except I don’t hate it. lol
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