Proseletized Revenge
This seems only fair.
EMBED-Door To Door Atheists Bother Mormons – Watch more free videos
This seems only fair.
EMBED-Door To Door Atheists Bother Mormons – Watch more free videos
© 1995-2016 Jonathan Schwarz
Website Design and Maintenance by
GeekArtist Web Solutions, LLC
Hosted by GeekArtist Web Solutions, LLC
Powered by WordPress
Follow
July 16th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Sweet unholy crapsticks, that was AWESOME! I kinda feel about others they way that guy does, except for that instead of being peeved when the bang on his door, I just hate being converted in general. Believe whatever you want to believe, but leave me the fuck out of it.
Reply
July 16th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
I’ve heard stories one way and the other about door-to-door missionaries. Knew someone who had a couple of these guys descend upon them not too long after the moving van left from dropping everything off. They insisted on helping unpack and set up everything.
Of course, there are also the guys who invariably show up just as you start to watch a movie, or while you are in the shower, and of course the many who are too pushy to just keep moving.
Reply
July 16th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
I’ve only had Jehovah’s Witnesses come to my house, and all the Mormons I know don’t do this at all.
Reply
July 17th, 2010 at 6:32 am
I fuck with them personally when they come to my door. Being Agnostic myself I just find it hilarious to pretend to talk to Satan and or a different Demon. Babble about spells and incantations. It gets them to run, fast away from your house. Just make sure to use the parting shot of Hail Satan.
Capicha: the unheeded yes LDS are.
Reply
July 17th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
I personally like the one one of my reletives chose.
“Did you know Jesus died for your sins?”- Jehova
“I didn’t even know he was sick.”- My relative
Reply
July 17th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
I’ve had JW and LDS knock on my door several times. I’ve tried scaring them away with everything from demonic incantations to trying to convert them to satanism. Often this ends up with me getting visited more often because of their concern for my soul (I’ve actually had a group of LDS hold a prayer service on my front lawn to show me their concern.
But I’ve actually discovered an interesting way of keeping them away. You see I’m a wiccan, and when they come pounding on my door, I invite them in to join me in a prayer. I littereally tell them “I was just about to pray, would you like to join me?” while evading their questions about my specific brand of christianity. I bring them in, light some sage (incense is what I tell them it is) lead them through the smoke and once I have them kneeling quickly call the directions (They don’t start getting a clue until I reach west or north) and them tell them that breaking the circle will invite evil spirits in. I then ask a boon of the god and goddess (generally the healing of a friend and the type of weather commonly viewed as “needed”) before dismissing the corners and dropping the circle. They generally don’t come back after that.
Reply
oneluckyduck reply on August 26th, 2010 10:47 pm:
You. are. EPIC.
I mean, besides the fact that you are Wiccan-which makes you automatically cool-you chase them off awesomely!
Them holding a prayer service for you…it’s kinda nice, kinda freaky.
If I ever am visiting, I’m going to start my satanism rant-“I believe in the one, who has sewn us in the great fabric, who knits us together, and covers us in the downy quilt of life…we are all threads in this great tapestry…”
It even works with string theory!
:)
Reply
July 17th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
I had a teacher in high school who stood over 6′ tall and was well built. One Saturday morning, as he was stepping out of the shower, someone rings his doorbell. He answered the door only wearing a towel to find 2 Mormon women standing there. They gave him the usual spiel and then asked to come in.
“Certainly,” he said as he stepped back to let them in and they started to go into his home. “But I must warn you, I’m a nudist and in order for you to come into my home and talk to me about your god you’re going to have to take off every stitch of clothing.”
He said they left so fast that they left skid marks on the front step.
Reply
July 19th, 2010 at 12:28 am
Ahhhh the memories, I am well known in my old area for pranking both the LDS and the JW. Just to let you know me and my friends have a few screws loose while other friends I have are missing thier’s all-together.
I lived in several differnt houses in the area and tried differnt things each time, the first house was the one I grew up in it had a concrete porch with a roof over it the JW had been bugging us for a few weeks differnt people each time and we were getting tired of it and living a half a mile back a dirt road keeps most people away. Me and my uncle drew a chalk outline on the porch called a state police officer that was a friend got some real crime scene tape to baracade off the porch add some beef blood and some scattered issues of watchtower that were left at some doctors offices and you can immagine the rest it was quite funny and we got the state police called on us and they had a laugh over the whole thing.
The second time was the most memorable it was at an apartment complex military housing built durring WWII for troops that were stationed to protect the Pennzoil refinery when it was running full force durring the war effort (we even had a nazi spy in our small town but that is a differnt story). So me and 2 friends were sitting in the apartment playing video games when we got a warning call that the LDS were going from house to house. We decided to get ready and got in “togas” and sent our one friend who grooms himself to look like Jesus upstairs, when they knocked we answered the door to some strange looks and they started into thier spiel and we invited them in for a drink. Before they got to far into the lecture we interrupted them and said “We are not the ones you need to talk to you want our Master.” Then I called up the stairs “Brother Jesus.” As he walked down the steps my friend says “Yes what is it my loyal diciples.” The LDS beat the hastiest retreat I ever seen and they broke the speed limit leaving the complex not even visiting the last few apartments.
Captcha: and pureness …. So what is pure here, just so I know what I have to currupt?
Reply
July 19th, 2010 at 10:19 am
lolz. I don’t mind Mormons, they are pretty helpful actually, and they don’t mind listening to info about your religion if it will get you to listen to info about theirs. I was weeding in my front yard one time when a couple of them came by and they got down and helped me weed for almost half an hour.
JW’s on the other hand… are entertaining.
“We’d like to talk to you about Jesus.”
Me- “I don’t want to hear about Jesus”
Them- “Do you know that Jesus died for your sins?”
Me- “Did you know that the concept of sin was invented by the Catholic Church to make people pay them money to wash away invented sins?”
Them- “Without God you will burn in hell forever”
Me- “Hell is also an invention of the Catholic Church, as is the devil. There is no mention of either in the Old Testament, interestingly enough. Although the concept comes from….” and cue lecture on Ancient Middle East Religions
They usually don’t come back, they’re just not that interested in the history of their religion I guess
Reply
July 19th, 2010 at 11:08 am
LOL. Some Mormons are ok in fact there are a few down the block, and everyone knows that every good survival kit has a copy of the local LDS Ward Directory in it lol. The only time I start with the pranks is when I get people knocking on my door pushing it on me. I do love a good talk about religion though, and I am well versed enough to talk to Preachers and Rabbis about what they believe and I have even talked to the Mormons a little bit about what they believe they have just been warned by my girl that our house is an anti-missionary zone lol.
Captcha: mooning one …. Hmmmmmm that might work.
Reply
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:16 pm
That is great, I want to steal it.
Reply
Anna reply on July 22nd, 2010 10:17 pm:
oops posted in the wrong spot, that’s supposed to be a reply to Billy, :p
Reply
July 24th, 2010 at 12:02 am
This reminds me of a story from my teenage years. My best friend at the time stood 6’6″, and weighed in at over 250 lbs. To say that he could fill a doorway was a mild understatement, and I should note that he was this size by the time he was 16. He was incapable of walking through a door, without turning sideways, and ducking.
He described himself as a “non-practicing” Baptist, and didn’t really care what other people chose to believe, as long as they didn’t try to force their beliefs on him.
One Saturday morning, he was preparing his one meal of the day. His usual meal was a pound of hamburger mixed in with some macaroni and cheese.
He stepped out, to have a smoke, and noticed some JWs a couple houses down. Having decided long before that point that he had neither the time nor the patience to deal with them, he came up with the perfect way to keep them from ever returning.
He went back into his house, grabbed a butcher knife from a drawer, and proceeded to go ballistic on the pound of ground round on the counter top. By the time he was done, he was covered in blood, and little bits of meat.
When the doorbell rang, he went to answer the door, with gore still dripping off him. To be honest, I kinda felt bad for them. They didn’t stand a chance. There’s this massive, scary looking dude, occupying the doorway, demanding to know why they had interrupted his sacrifice.
I’m not sure which was the funniest part. My friend, the well-known “Teddy Bear”, looking like something out of a horror-flick, or the JWs losing all color in their faces, and unassing his front yard so fast their decendants will feel it.
Reply