Be prepared for the zombie apocalypse
Given the high level of “zombie awareness” evidenced on this site by Skippy and his regular contributors, I’ve decided (ie, been drafted by Skippy) to contribute this particular arrangement of thoughts and links for your education and/or entertainment.
I think that any good zombie apocalypse plan has to account for a few key factors:
1. You need food; they don’t (only brains). Stock up on food to survive through the millennium. Yes, you can has cheezeburger!
2. You get tired; they won’t. Carry some Scooby snacks for fighting off hordes of zombies.
3. You have a brain; they need it. Know the physics of zombie random movement.
Caveat: any quick study of the works of George Romero will demonstrate that this may not always apply.
4. You can make a plan; they can’t. Have a good plan for where you’re going to hide from the zombies.
I don’t have any specific George Romero quotes to counter the “zombie movement” article but I think any fan of zombie flicks will understand that zombies don’t use actual random movement patterns once they are in “seek” mode, only “search” mode. Once they’ve locked on, they seem to broadcast some homing signal to all nearby zombies, who in turn must rebroadcast it, resulting in the inevitable (and entertaining to watch) “zombie horde”. Nothing else, to me, explains the horde phenomena; else, they’d all just randomly bump into each other like ping-pong balls and there would be no “horde” and thus no “apocalypse”.
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October 1st, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Oh…my…god.
They’ve combined dead, cooked animals with caffeine. Ohgodohgodohgodohgodyesyesyesyesyesyes. I will exchange my soul, my firstborn, my credit info…anything to get as many bags of this stuff as possible into my possession.
I have seen god, and he is a snack food.
Captcha: Semis Good… Yes, a full semi of caffeinated beef would be good.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 3:47 am
Mmmm…buzzard gizzards…and ant egg’s!!…wait I’m not that wasted on alchohol and a near overdose of drugs so..nevermind lol
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October 2nd, 2009 at 7:39 am
Do the brains, the Zombies crave, have to be warm and alive? If so, would some kind of thermal cooling helmet sheild your brain-wave/heat signature? We could always add a little tinfoil, in case of space-alien zombies.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 8:49 am
I have to admit that at first I completely misunderstood the implications of a “performance enhancing meat snack” and took that product’s message in a completely different context.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 9:15 am
The horde comes because of zombie psychology. They start moving somewhere, and a zombie sees that they are going there, they assume food is that direction. So they start walking there. Then another sees it, and joins.
Then you shoot a gun, and that can be heard for miles. And it says “FOOD HERE.” So all within that range start walking there.
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Anonymous and STILL Employed reply on October 2nd, 2009 9:49 am:
The psychology part can be tested in English shopping malls. Get a group of people together and form a line that leads to somewhere that passers by can’t see, it won’t take long for some sadsack to join it.
The whole “Gunshot, FOOD HERE” thing has always been a kicker. What about firing bullets at random a few miles from your hiding place and then running like hell?
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SPC Hyle reply on October 2nd, 2009 12:11 pm:
They start walking towards where they heard the gunshot. Then they keep going in that direction. There is no way that it cannot lead to your place of refuge.
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Willy reply on October 2nd, 2009 1:09 pm:
That’s assuming your already surrounded by a circle of zombies some distance away, in which case your screwed anyways. But if you were to say run a circle around them with a vehicle, shoot bullets, take a circle around them back to your hideout…Or if the zombies are south of you, run west of your hideout so they go there, and end up crossing a point due west of your hideout where the keep going north…
You could come up with a number of reasons why these don’t work but it depends on how the zombies are spread, etc.
Also, if shooting a bullet attracts them, just don’t shoot one o.O
P.S. People could also experiment with remote firing guns, with mines around….
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 pm
University of Florida has a Zombie Disaster Plan:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33130861/ns/us_news-weird_news/
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Leon reply on October 2nd, 2009 1:19 pm:
It got yanked. Coverup! Teh gubermint is hiding the truth from us! I for one am lining up a cosmetic surgeon to attach a chainsaw to my arm.
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Jon reply on October 2nd, 2009 2:24 pm:
If you still want to read it…
http://inthewings.net/zbsd_exercise.pdf
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