Funny, I Don’t Feel Fictitious!
My friend Diana sent me the following email yesterday.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skippy
Scroll down to the last of “fictional characters”
I am now questioning my very existence. I mean, it’s on the internet, on Wikipedia. Therefor it must be true. Which brings up several disturbing thoughts.
Such as, if I don’t exist, just who is my wife married to? Heck, if I’m not here who has she been sleeping with? I’d ask her, but I suspect that asking my wife who she’s been sleeping with will lead to pain, a lecture, and more pain.
Who’s been winding up with my paychecks, and just why the hell is my company paying them? Do I even need to keep going to work? Can I call in “fictitious”? “Sorry boss I can’t come into work today, I’m still imaginary.”
Also, if I am fictional, does this mean that the law no longer applies to me? I’m thinking that anybody who has spent any amount of time reading my site could take, oh about three seconds, to summon up their favorite image of how badly that would turn out.
And lastly will I get to hang out with other imaginary people, in non-existent places? Because if so, I’m going to Callahan’s Place, to hang out with Dejah Thoris and Tananda.
Also, I will visit the Dakotas, because let’s face it, one of them is bound to be fictional. There is no way that Dakota was so awesome that people decided, “We definitely need another one of these”. I’m leaning towards North Dakota being the fake one, as some sort of creepy Canadian plot. It’s probably were they are hiding all of their hot nymphomaniacs that Internet gamers all claim to be dating.
(And it looks like someone already corrected Wikipedia, crisis averted)
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January 27th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Being the nerd that I am (and because this is at least slightly more interesting that the assignment I’m supposed to be doing), I was wondering how you would go about definitively proving that you aren’t a fictional character, to the satisfaction of Wikipedia’s verifiability criteria.
Is the ‘About Skippy’ a sufficiently authoritative source? After all, it could just be part of the fiction.
Presumably citing copies of your birth certificate and documents verifying your military career wouldn’t be sufficient, because you could be some other “Princess Anastasia” “Specialist Schwarz”.
Would some authoritative secondary source have to be found which used such documents to prove that there really was a Specialist Schwarz AKA “Skippy”, who compiled a list of 213 things he was forbidden to do in the US Army, suffice? Does such a document exist? After all, Wikipedia articles can’t be based on “Original Research”.
Maybe Wikipedia is right. Maybe we are all just players in some grand fiction. If this is the case, do I still have to hand in my Commercial Law assignment next week?
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Sweet Sister Morphine reply on January 27th, 2009 11:44 pm:
PS: Stupid tags didn’t work. <_<
PPS: “Skippy Australian and Skip are slang terms used within Australia for a person of Anglo ethnicity, derived from the television series Skippy the Bush Kangaroo”.
I have lived in Australia my entire life and never heard this term used to describe Anglo-Australians.
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Petros reply on January 29th, 2009 2:44 am:
Me neither.
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OGADave reply on January 31st, 2009 6:01 am:
Be glad you haven’t heard that.
Most of the time when I hear it, it’s generally used in a racist manner.
Somewhat akin to ‘wog’ or ‘curry muncher’.
This was meant as informative only, not advocating racism in any way.
Kieran reply on January 29th, 2009 5:19 pm:
it disturbs me that i can remember watching that show……. gods i feel old now.
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Ix reply on March 24th, 2009 7:15 pm:
I’ve heard it once – but that was on that episode of House with the really annoying teenager who was neo-House and really good at chess.
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January 27th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
That was a f*&^ing great fix on wikipedia.
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January 28th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Aww someone fixed it before I could see it. u___u
Well i guess that at least now Skippy wont have to worry about vanishing into the pages of the next book he picks up.
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January 28th, 2009 at 2:28 am
If you’re looking to see the fixes and previous versions of this article, wherein Skippy was still a being of questionable reality (as opposed to taste- that’s never been in any doubt), you could always check through the page’s history tab…
captcha: blast ex-Auditor- it’s open season already?!
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Stickfodder reply on January 28th, 2009 3:06 am:
I’ve never noticed that there were history pages.
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January 28th, 2009 at 4:24 am
If you are fictitious, does the list still apply to you or are you now allowed to do these things due to the fact that fictional characters can not be brought up on charges in the US Army?
Captcha “dunces inspected” – They have standards now?
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January 28th, 2009 at 5:08 am
goin’ to Callahan’s Place….. sigh. I’ve ALWAYS wished I could go there.
captcha: over Hollywood. Would that be the huge dense cloud of hot air?
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Cantih reply on January 28th, 2009 11:25 pm:
I’d be more interested in going to Lady Sally’s
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PO2 Thpbbb reply on March 16th, 2009 9:30 am:
I would gladly visit either, given the chance. Such good company, even if you never leave the bar.
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January 28th, 2009 at 5:53 am
If you’re fictitious, then I, and the others, must be supporting characters. I hope space aliens don’t eat my brain in the next chapter. I don’t think I look like Ensign Ricky.
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Minty reply on January 28th, 2009 1:52 pm:
If you’re a Red Shirt, what does that make me? Random guest star that shows up occasionally to screw with the crew?
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paula reply on January 29th, 2009 11:42 am:
can I sign up to be one of those green-skinned-spacebabes-in-a-bikini that Capt. Kirk seemed to find on just about every single planet?!?
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Stickfodder reply on January 29th, 2009 12:10 pm:
Well who here would be Kirk? Would that be Skippy? I wont to be Scotty.
Sequoia reply on January 29th, 2009 3:00 pm:
I call spock
Stickfodder reply on January 29th, 2009 3:05 pm:
Ha ha you don’t get to use emotions.
Sequoia reply on January 30th, 2009 4:40 pm:
I usually don’t as it is, except anger. Anger is my friend.
Stickfodder reply on January 30th, 2009 9:01 pm:
Well then say goodbye to your friend. You don’t get to have emotions except once every seven years.
January 28th, 2009 at 6:44 am
Is being fictitious anything like being dead? Once when I was in the Army some poor soldier died in Panama and his ssn was one digit different from mine. I got a call one afternoon from a friend at division HQ telling me I was dead. Some clerk had typod the ssn and killed me off. No pay, no allowances, but when I asked my motor sergeant he said I still had to go to work. Even worse, I still had to do PT.
Captcha: Hamelet for……..president? king? Pope?
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Sequoia reply on January 28th, 2009 6:48 pm:
definitly pope.
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January 28th, 2009 at 6:45 am
The internet and Wikipedia keep insisting that I am an English Sea captain, and that I am dead!
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paula reply on January 29th, 2009 11:44 am:
On the bright side: from what I’ve read, at least you WERE invited to dinner, Capt. Cook! (Guest of honor even, so to speak…..)
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January 28th, 2009 at 10:07 am
I believe T-Shirt Hell said it best “Is It Solipsistic In Here Or Is It Just Me?”
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James reply on January 28th, 2009 10:21 am:
yeh and how many people would be asking you what solipsistic meant…
and dont say none and that they dont exist ;)
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ds reply on January 28th, 2009 11:15 am:
Shirts like that are great conversation starters.
People either know what it means and start up a good conversation.
They ask you what it means and then discuss it with you.
Or, the most common, their eyes glaze over as soon as you try to explain and then you can have a lot of fun coming up with a creative explanation.
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MF reply on January 28th, 2009 11:23 am:
So, what does it mean? ;)
Warcabbit reply on January 29th, 2009 3:22 am:
T-Shirt Hell just closed their doors, sadly.
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January 28th, 2009 at 10:56 am
The way I see it, Skippy started out fictitious, was made aware of that fact, but now he is no longer fictitious. I think that is definite proof of “Cogito, ergo sum” (English: “I think, therefore I am”)philosophy from Descartes. So the next logical question becomes, what happens in the event Skippy stops thinking? Also, what are the odds on that?
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Stickfodder reply on January 28th, 2009 6:58 pm:
I have one thing to say to that:
http://www.drunkduck.com/The_KAMics/index.php?p=511278
Ok maybe two:
http://www.drunkduck.com/The_KAMics/index.php?p=513528
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January 28th, 2009 at 11:19 am
there apparently was a brief war over Skippy’s fictional status.
It Begins here
Revision as of 17:11, 31 December 2008 (edit) (undo)
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Skippy&diff=prev&oldid=261117128
and ends Here
Revision as of 06:34, 28 January 2009 (edit) (undo)
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Skippy&diff=next&oldid=266865606
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January 28th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
[QUOTE] I’m leaning towards North Dakota being the fake one, as some sort of creepy Canadian plot. It’s probably where they are hiding all of their hot nymphomaniacs that Internet gamers all claim to be dating. [\QUOTE]
Busted.
Can you forgive us Canadians? =)
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January 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
It is comforting to see how deep everyone is probing over these important issues in today’s prime!
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January 28th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Hmm well now that Wikipedia has you listed as a real person- with no actual article- does that mean that your entire existence according to wikipedia is only creating the Skippy List? If so who wrote this?
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January 29th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I sure have an am proud to be one. One reason you may not have heard of a “Skippy” is that it is pronounced “Schkippy” by its most frequent proponents, normally referred to as “Gweedohs” by their targets.
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January 29th, 2009 at 11:54 am
How do you know you don’t feel fictitious? What does feeling fictitious feel like?
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January 29th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Game called on account of sophism!
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CCO reply on January 29th, 2009 2:18 pm:
H3 tag doesn’t work right? or is it a Size Issue?
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CCO reply on January 29th, 2009 2:19 pm:
Bother same typo as the Canuck!
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January 30th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I know I have posted to this site many times. If you are fictitious, could you be my version of Tyler Durden and I am posting as Skippy when I think I am asleep?
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January 31st, 2009 at 2:44 am
Having read the Wikipedia article, I am chuckling like a fiend, to learn that there really is a drink named Skippy. Now we can raise a formal toast to the hilarious little so-and-so. If it wasn’t around 2AM right now, I would probably be out raiding the local liquor store for what I estimate should be 2 cases of Molson Canadian, 2 bottles of decent vodka, and 3 or 4 cartons of Mike’s Hard Lemonade…..
Come to think of it, I shall ask the local pubtender to put together a few Skippies in time for the next meeting of my local chapter of POETS corner. In the meantime…
Face it, Skippy – You’ve been immortalized – in a good, alcoholic way.
Cheers!
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February 28th, 2009 at 1:10 am
North Dakota – we had to send them there, they were a disgrace to the nation, just look at who they were dating!
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November 16th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
<>
So, I’m a gamer and I have a non fictitious hot nymphomaniac girlfriend who does not live near me. Who is she sleeping with? Or am I fictitious?
Big Guy Lousy Shot
Captcha: Spied Vic…. There! Did you see him? There went Vic
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