Pants Contest Winners
I have decided to name two winners in my Pants Quote contest.
Cpl Smith on wearing a kilt- “it’s like being naked…WITH POCKETS”. Even though kilts are technically not pants, allergy it was funny. And people my have noticed that funny goes a lot further with me than “technically correct”. Hell, funny tends to go a lot further with me then most other considerations, such as morality, legality, or even physics. (And believe me, physics can be a harsh mistress.)
My other favorite was Badcat, on spilling rum on herself – “Oh man, my pants taste FANTASTIC.” For some reason I keep imagining Capt. Jack Sparrow saying this. Which, you have to admit is severely awesome. But then, pretty much everything Capt Jack Sparrow could say about pants would be awesome.
And so Cpl Smith and Badcat will each receive their prize as soon as the postal service whisks it off to them. Where no doubt they will be the envy of everybody they know.
Everybody else, too bad, you should have tried harder.
Does anybody have suggestions for my next contest?
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December 30th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
I suggest pie.
It’s hard to go wrong with pie.
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Bobsentme reply on December 31st, 2008 3:58 am:
“Oh man, my pie tastes AWESOME!”
;)
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Speed reply on December 31st, 2008 6:45 am:
“But when I wear pie in the place of my kilt, I tend to stick to the seat. On the good side, women stare at me. Hungrily.”
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SrA reply on December 31st, 2008 9:25 am:
wonder if i can convice my husband a pie kilt is a good thing… hummm long weekend comming up, nothing else to do…
December 31st, 2008 at 5:05 am
Perhaps your best “Think, then speak” moment, or your best “Damn, I should have thought that through” moment.
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Petros reply on December 31st, 2008 8:15 am:
I’ve had a few of those “should have thought that through moments”. Some quite embarrasing ones.
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December 31st, 2008 at 5:56 am
Less Captain Jack Sparrow than Captain Jack Harkness.
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December 31st, 2008 at 7:33 am
Favorite Zombie Dispatching Method?
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Stickfodder reply on December 31st, 2008 10:54 am:
Meh everybody knows the best Zombie dispatching method is a shotgun.
A better idea is what is the most creative way everybody can come up with to kill a zombie?
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Dorkus reply on December 31st, 2008 11:30 am:
A firearms only work if you can take out the head (see Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z). You’re best bet is probably a cricket or baseball bat. his is of course assuming we are talking about the classic, slow moving Dawn of the Dead zombies.
If we’re talking the fast running Resident Evil/28 days later types, well then all bets are off.
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Dave in NC reply on January 4th, 2009 2:15 am:
Well, I suppose what I should have said was “most creative”.
My entry – two logs hung opposite each other on a path running parallel to each other. When a trip wire goes, the come crashing down ala the trap sprung by the Ewoks on the AT-ST walker in SW epVI: RotJ.
Makes a gooey mess but is so much fun to watch on instant replay.
Freqhopmaster reply on January 4th, 2009 3:01 am:
As per said guide, the best way to dispatch a zombie is a crossbow. I guess the sound of firearms will alert other zombies to where you are. Practice now, you will be thankful when the hordes of the undead take over the world.
December 31st, 2008 at 8:46 am
I congratulate Corporal Smith on his win- that quote has been stuck in my head all week, along with this song.
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December 31st, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Hmm,
Best Top 10 things you are no longer aloud to do in the Army, school, college, or whatever demented organization you belong to. But that is kind of ovious. Maybe funniest and/or weirdest experience you had involving drinking or being drunk.
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Freqhopmaster reply on January 4th, 2009 3:03 am:
The drunk list could be obscene, incriminating, or both, I like it.
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December 31st, 2008 at 3:18 pm
To paraphrase a noteable ancestor of mine named Baldrick, I may have a cunning plan…(those of you with refined tastes should stop reading right now).
In the blog ‘Holy Pants Batman!’, reply #38, someone named Twan mentioned, and I quote, “…she got bold after the tampon fight”
I propose that someone should come up with rules for a tampon fight. Points to be awarded on the basis of distance, accuracy, and splatter effect. Bonus points for creative use of alcohol. Extra bonus points if squid are involved. Extra extra bonus points for making Skippy laugh uncontrolably. Penalties given if any police are involved. Suggestions?
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Twan reply on January 1st, 2009 12:28 pm:
So have I inadvertently become the inspiration for an idea for a new sport?
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TeratoMarty reply on January 1st, 2009 4:49 pm:
Oh lordy. One time, someone disposed of a smouldering cigarette in the menstrual-products wastebasket of the women’s room in my office. A horrifying smell was generated and the fire department were involved. I propose that no tampon fight would be complete without IEDs.
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Freqhopmaster reply on January 4th, 2009 3:05 am:
That must have smelled like old burning fish and rubber.
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TeratoMarty reply on January 4th, 2009 7:49 pm:
Man, what kind of ladies have you been sleeping with? Anyhow, it smelled like overdone roast beef and burning plastic.
January 1st, 2009 at 5:30 pm
My suggestions. Inspiration of course from the original Skippy’s List.
1) Best camouflage paint uniform. I imagine, that one could get quite pornographic though.
2) Best creative writing writing piece regarding a flashback to a war that no one here could possibly have been in. I am quite curious as to what the Battle of Hastings was like. Other than miserably cold of course.
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Speed reply on January 1st, 2009 10:05 pm:
Imaginitive flash backs are more fun than the real life ones: “There I was, in the PX…” or “I kid you not, the DFAC line was a 1/4 mile long!” and my personal favorite, “Can you believe it? They showed the same film THREE times this week at the post theater!”
War is hell.
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January 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 pm
First rule of Tampon Fighting is we don’t talk about Tampon Fighting.
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tzanti reply on January 3rd, 2009 7:45 am:
Everybody was Tampon Fighting
Those towels flew fast as lightning
And I guess it was a little bit frightening
But they threw with expert timing
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January 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 am
Argh. That made me laugh myself into a snort.
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