These are all quotes, involving pants, that have been actually said in my presence.
1. “Wow, your pants smell fascinating today.”
2. “Aw, lookit how cute she is. Isn’t she just adorable? Look at how AAAAAAAAUUUUGH! Get it out of my pants! Get it out of my pants!”
3. “Hey! It’s been years since I forgot to put on pants before I left the house.”
4. “Those are rather unfortunate pants.”
5. “Okay, I suppose that it makes perfect sense for you to have a pair of Spongebob pants to match your wife’s Spongebob lingerie. Now why does your wife have Spongebob lingerie?”
6. “Now that you mention it, yes. The talking pickle has been in his pants.”
7. “Are we going to label the things that have been in his pants?”
“No we are going to label the things that have not been in his pants. It’s faster.”
8. “I have to tell you something that might disturb you. Two lesbians have just had sex in your pants.”
Now many of you may be wondering why I have put up a list of strange quotes with no explanation. (Others have probably given up wondering just what the hell I’m up to.)
Well obviously this is a way of leading in to my new Pants Contest.
I mean duh, what else could it be.
I currently still have a small pile of Squid Pie t-shirts left. And so whoever posts the best pants related quote in the comments section will get a free one sent to them. Contest ends whenever I say it does, and like all things of importance, final judgment rests with Skippy.
Furthermore I’m sure that several of you want to know what the hell happened that caused these quotes to be um… be-quoted at me in the first place. Well I will reveal provided that I receive some reader submissions to post up on here. The holidays are coming up and everybody is very selfishly spending them doing charity work, or spending time with their family instead of sending in content for my site. Picking up the slack would eat into my Left4Dead time, which means you might as well just hand Riverside over to those undead flesh-hungry bastards.
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