Lightbulb Theft
My father told me this story when I was 15 in an effort to dispel the notion that Green Berets have no sense of humor. I pass it on now because he is no longer here to do it himself, and it’s a story that should definitely be passed around.
When Dad was in Vietnam, there was a rash of light bulb thefts on base. Every time the light bulbs would be replaced, they would be stolen just as fast. Eventually, the CO caught on to what was happening, and decided that the joke was over. He assembled everyone together and told them that if even ONE more light bulb disappeared, the off-base passes of everyone on base would be revoked, and nobody would be allowed into the base beyond assigned personnel. Word had begun to circle the base that some of the lieutenants had taken the light bulbs in an effort to frame some of the sergeants (my father included) that they didn’t like, and soon the words were backed up by evidence. The next day, a few more light bulbs went missing, and true to his word, the CO revoked the passes and pissed off everyone not involved with the theft.
Dad and his barracks-mates were naturally upset about these events, but decided that instead of going to the CO immediately and telling him what they knew about the lieutenants, they would wait patiently for an opportunity to reward them in their own special way.
About a week later, when everyone had been couped up and pissed off long enough, my father’s friend Lee discovered that some of the lieutenants involved with the thefts had been sneaking some of the local women of ill-repute into their barracks for the past few nights. And that was when they saw their opportunity to get back their passes and the lieutenants.
Dad went to the CO, hat in hand, and told him that while he didn’t want to stir up trouble, but he felt that he should know that there were some non-assigned personnel on base, and he might want to look for them in the barracks, and proceeded to give his CO the barrack numbers of the lieutenants. The CO’s eyes bugged and he stormed out of the office. Dad met Lee outside the CO’s office, and together they walked over to the comm office and were informed by their buddy working the switchboards that a call had just come in from one of the lieutenants that had been sold out. Apparently, this Lieutenant wasn’t too happy about being caught, and was trying to warn his buddies in the next barracks over that the CO was on the warpath. Dad grinned. Lee grinned. The switchboard guy hung up on the lieutenant and didn’t connect any calls to or from the barracks under inspection.
The passes were returned the next day, and that group of lieutenants never hassled my dad and his friends again.
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September 16th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Good story. By the way, who’s Lee?
My daddy always like to tell about his Army buddy from Ohio (Cincinnati, I think) Frankie J.
This was in the late ’50’s, circa 1958. Daddy grew up on a farm so getting up first thing in the morning was not unusually early. (In fact, Daddy said in Basic at Fort Benning that his outfit got to sleep until 6:30, but at Fort Chaffee that they had to get up at 5:30.) But I’m pretty sure this was while he was stationed in Korea “deterring Communist aggression from the north”.
Daddy would get up whistling. His buddy would roll over and say something like “You stupid Rebel!” Daddy would retort, “You volunteered. I got drafted.”
Believe you me, I thought about that a lot when I was in Basic!
“Boughton AbRBPoA” : Say again, over?
CCO
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Anna reply on September 16th, 2008 11:12 am:
Lee was my dad’s best friend when he was in Vietnam. They managed to get back in contact with each other a few months before Dad died. They’d been out of touch for decades because Dad was shipped home before Lee was, so it was nice that Dad had something to make him happy while everything was going wrong.
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September 16th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
the hell were they doing with the bulbs?
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Jon reply on September 16th, 2008 7:28 pm:
Exactly! That is a part of the story that really needs to be told!
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CA Guy reply on September 16th, 2008 9:13 pm:
“the hell were they doing with the bulbs?”
Paying the hookers, maybe?
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Anna reply on September 17th, 2008 5:40 am:
Unfortunately, I have no idea. Dad never told me that part, but I have a sneaking suspicion they were selling them on the black market or something.
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September 16th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I don’t see how this proves that the Green Berets have no sense of humor. It only seems to show that they have patience…
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Anna reply on September 17th, 2008 5:42 am:
Actually, you’ve got it slightly backwards. It’s supposed to prove that they DO have a sense of humor. I know it’s not as funny coming from a 20 year old girl instead of the man it happened to, but I did the best I could.
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September 16th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
This just proves that Green Berets have a well-hidden vindictive streak!
captcha: Arbitrator phase…the phase after the ‘terrible twos’
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Anna reply on September 17th, 2008 5:47 am:
Yeah, that too. :)
I still say it proves that they have a sense of humor…it’s just a tad more twisted than the run-of-the-mill sense of humor.
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September 17th, 2008 at 3:06 am
I learned quickly that your definition of humor and Special Forces’ (any branch) humor can and will vary wildly.
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Anna reply on September 17th, 2008 5:48 am:
Sounds like you’ve got a story to tell too, Dave!
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September 19th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Special Forces and humor. Well, my dad was Air Force, but his wing did covert ops for a year or so. 12th FTW. Bunch of weird stuff.
Anyhow, so, his tent became the place for the poker game the Special Forces guys had. And somehow or other, stuff got left behind at the end of a night, time after time, and then stuck in a corner.
So my dad served his time, got transferred out, and some of his buddies volunteered to pack his stuff for him.
And they did. (I still have the 196X edition of Hoyle’s… I’ve used it for Deadlands games.)
So, he gets back to Ft. Worth, opens up the boxes and finds they packed all the stuff stuck in a corner. Which were mostly grenades. Apparently nobody examined the boxes all that close.
So, here we are. Box full of grenades. So, he walked over to the Sgt. in charge of the armory, and said, “I got something for you.” and tipped out the box. Then wandered away.
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Anna reply on September 19th, 2008 8:48 am:
That is a most definite win. Special Forces seem to have an extra special sense of humor. :D
Captcha: Rio Lassere – an undiscovered river, located perpendicular to the Rio Bravo. XD
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September 23rd, 2008 at 12:38 am
Lt’s who screw with NCO’s are ignorant and lack intelligence cause’ anyone with any sense knows an NCO will get even+ sooner or later…usually at the worst possible time.
Been there, done that, enjoyed the hell out of it!
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Anna reply on September 23rd, 2008 2:22 am:
Sounds like someone else has a story to tell too! :D
Captcha: Broadway Fairs – How the theater people earn money for all those shiny costumes!
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June 19th, 2011 at 5:43 am
I haven’t checked in here for some time because I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it friend :)
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