Archive for May 6th, 2008

OK, I’m out of work and on unemployment. I have been working on the phones in various customer service roles over the last several years. Being that I am unemployed, the state of Texas provides me with a Chase bank card, to pay me the unemployment insurance that is due to me.

So far so good.

Well I was online and had a question about the available balance. Since the Chase website does not show pending charges, I just wanted to confirm what was there, just to make sure I don’t spend more than I have, especially with rent coming up, so I call the bank to speak to someone.

I get a guy who is obviously not from the U.S., which does not mean he is not here in the U.S. But, since they are asking for name and Social Security numbers and account numbers, I thought I would ask where the guy was because I know a lot of fraud and identity theft occur outside of the U.S. Not that someone in the US can not use that same information for fraudulent purposes, I just feel better about it somehow.

So I ask him, “What country are you in?”

“For security purposes, I can not give out that information.”

… (blink) , “You can’t tell me what country you are in?”

“No, sir. For security reasons I can not give the location of this facility.”

“You’re in India, aren’t you?”

“For security purposes, I can not give out that information.”

“Let me talk to your supervisor.”

“I’ll get a supervisor on the line, please hold.”

So, at this point I am hoping to get someone in the U.S. or at least an Indian with a little more sense.

“Hello, my name is (insert generic American sounding name here, I think it was Brett or Brad or Trent or something), I am a supervisor here, how may I help you?”

“Well I had some questions about my account, but I do want to know what country I am calling first, and the previous agent would not tell me. So, first off, I want to know, what country are you in?”

“For security purposes, I can not give out that information.”

“Are you in the U.S.”

“For security purposes, I can not give out that information.”

“Are you in India?”

“For security purposes, I can not provide you with the location of our center.”

“OK, are you on the North American continent?”

“I can not give out that information.”

“What planet are you on?”

“I can not give out that information. Is there something else I can do to assist you?”

… (blink) … (blink) … (jaw very slowly descends to floor) It was somewhere around here that I gave up and told him that, if he can’t tell me what country or planet he is on, that he can not help me period. I ended the call.

I eventually called back and got a nice girl, here in the U.S. She was hoping that she would not get in trouble for providing that information, but she figured that confirming she was in the U.S. was generic enough of a location that she could respond to me.

I just find it ironic that I am having a hard time finding a job doing similar work to the kind of work these people do, thus I am collecting unemployment and having to call India, for support on my unemployment insurance account.

This is just another fine example of how American business practices, and your taxes are working hard to help your fellow Americans live the American Dream. Which reminds me, how much longer until I get my tax rebate check? I can really use that about now, I got some bills to catch up on.

(The system isn’t broken. Go back to sleep America. Everything is fine. There is nothing to see here.)

(sleep)

(sleep)

(sleep)