Fun with ignorance
This story comes courtesy of one of my co-workers, Dav. I know it looks like a name from Invader Zim, but it’s pronounced “Dave”.
One of the things that me and Dav have in common is our ethnicity. Both of us are non-practicing Jews. Being Jewish comes with some advantages that gentiles don’t understand. One is a to have practically a supernatural affinity for the entertainment industry and money management. Another is the built in camouflage/amusement factor.
Like any other minority in the country, there are people that don’t like Jews. But unlike many other minorities, Jews are not color coded. If someone starts insulting Blacks in front of a black man, he is starting a fight. But if someone starts insulting Jews in front of me, they probably don’t realize I’m Jewish and are about to be embarrassed. Which is, of course, highly amusing.
Dav got to meet his girlfriend’s extended family during a big Easter Dinner last year. His girlfriend came from a large family of Eastern European immigrants. He hit it off and was fairly pleased that he seemed to be making a good impression with them. The grandmother served them lamb, which she explained was the traditional Easter meal for people from Bulgaria.
“We always have lamb for Easter. It’s the only time we can afford it. It’s not like we’re Jews.”
Dav looked uncomfortable for a moment and his girlfriend quickly intervened.
“Grandma, Dav is Jewish.”
Grandma quickly tried to make amends.
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t think to look at his nose!”
Now every time he sees her family he complains about how long the meetings with the Elders of Zion take and most of them seriously have no idea if he’s joking or not.
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January 10th, 2008 at 6:26 am
HA! Man I wish I knew some Jews to tell this too
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Snyarhedir reply on January 28th, 2011 1:20 am:
I know at least one, plus a more-or-less Jewish Christian (observes Passover at least, eats no pork, but for some reason does not observe Hannukah (spelling?) or Christmas) who might also be amused.
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January 10th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
hahaha, I’ll think of that next time.
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January 11th, 2008 at 4:43 am
Good Lord, I need to show this to my Jewish friends, they’ll get a kick out of this!
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January 11th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Hey man, I grew up Jewish and know exactly the kind of treatment you’re talking about.
Also, don’t tell others about the Elders of Zion. They can’t know the master plan.
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January 13th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Too Late, us Chaldeans are already part of it.
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January 13th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Give the old folks a break, man! They don’t know any better once they get to that age where the part of their brain that says “Don’t go there” shorts out. ;)
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January 14th, 2008 at 3:18 am
it’s even more fun being half jewish and half german.
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January 15th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Try being a 1/2 Jewish, 1/2 American Indian who’s marrying a German that looks like Hitler reborn… then try to picture the kids of such an unholy union. *grins* Perfection, no?
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January 16th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
The only possible response is, of course, ‘How big IS Dav’s nose?’
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January 18th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Ummm yeah. The first time my father met my future homo-husband, we all sat down to a nice dinner (dining room, not kitchen, good silverware, the whole nine). My old man looked right at my non-practising Jewish beloved and said “Well, your nose isn’t very big at all!” He was fine with the gay thing, but the Judaism still threw him.
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January 28th, 2011 at 1:18 am
She has to apologize again after making that comment on his nose.
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