To start off here are some facts about me.
As I have stated before, pills I make video games for a living. I design board games for fun. I read comic books. I have memorized most of the works of Monty Python. I have a few dozen characters on Warcraft. I regularly watch repeats of shows and movies that contain the word “Star”. I listen to Jonathan Coulton, cheap order the Aquabats, medical and Nerf Herder.
There is more.
I play a game, called “Warhammer” which essentially consists of adults playing with plastic army men. I have worked in technical theater. I wear glasses. I have worked at an Anime convention. I once guilt tripped a stripper into dancing to the “Underdog” theme. I worked in PSYOP. I own a copy of the Star Wars Christmas special. I have gone to Ren Faires, and even engaged in mock medieval warfare using foam rubber weapons.
In short, the cool ship set sail without me a long time ago. (And if you mentally added the words “In A Galaxy Far Far Away” you’re stranded right here on the dock with me.)
I am not saying these things to impress you. I’m pretty sure my fan base is at least 50% nerd, and I’m sure many of them could out-dork me with their eyes closed and one hand tied to a limited edition Optimus Prime which is still in the box.
I said these things to establish that I am speaking from a position of authority when I say:
These people make me look cooler than the Fonz, at the South Pole.
Not really sure what to say beyond that. I’m torn between being flattered and creeped out. On the one hand, I like the thought that they enjoy my writing that much.
But on the other hand, being used as the basis for fan fiction? That’s nerdy even for me.
In case there are any people reading this who do not know what fan fiction is, it is basically where an amateur author takes an existing set of material, usually a cartoon or science fiction product, and then writes about it in such a way as to destroy anything good about the original material.
I will further illustrate this with a badly conceived analogy to drug use.
Watching Star Wars is like getting drunk. Normal enough behavior provided that you don’t overdo it. Playing Dungeons and Dragons is like experimenting with pot in college. Less people have tried it, but still enough that you could be considered a normal human being.
Well following this analogy, writing fanfic is the equivalent of trading oral sex for crack, in a mens’s room. In a furry costume. I will now leave you with that mental picture, as I go and try to scrub it out of my brain.
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