Caution: You Should Probably Not Take Legal or Financial Advise From Skippy(or translation advice)

January 11th, 2009 by skippy

So to depart from what has become my normal routine, I will give the list update tomorrow, so that I can bring an issue to your attention.

I was browsing through my daily news sites earlier in the week when I came across this article. For those too lazy to go and read up on the story I will summarize it briefly here.

Raed Jarrar, an American resident, tried to board a plane wearing a t-shirt that had Arabic Script on it. Security stopped him, because they felt that printed Arabic was the equivalent of declaring “I am a terrorist”. He was detained and ultimately was not allowed onto the plane until he agreed to cover the shirt up.

Well, he disagreed with the security agents decision, and so did the ACLU and a judge. And when the dust settled at the end of the lawsuit, Mr. Jarrar wound up walking away with $250,000.

I suspect that some of my readers reacted to that with a thought along the lines of “Well good for him, he triumphed over prejudice, and maybe the airport security will learn a valuable lesson in treating people with respect and dignity.”

And some other readers are probably thinking “This is bullshit. Most terrorists speak Arabic, so airport security was just being diligent. He may have been delayed, but it’s not like they locked him up without a trial or anything.”

But knowing you like I do, most of my readers are probably thinking to themselves “Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars? I could use two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. How can I get in on some of that sweet, sweet TSA money?”

And seeing as I have the generosity of a Saint, I have come up with a way to help.

I call it my Airport Security Collection

Edit: Characters have been accidentally placed in reveres order. Which might arguably make this funnier. But at my expense now. Everybody point and laugh.

I Love America

i_love_america_light_shirt

Death To Racial Profiling

These Colors Don’t Run

Bacon!

I Was Unconstitutionally Detained By Airport Security And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

Buying one of these t-shirts is an investment if you are planning on doing any air travel in the near future. If you fly without one, you’re basically costing yourself $250,000. If you don’t buy four, you’re losing an even million. In these uncertain financial times, you can’t afford not to buy these shirts. I’ve proven it with math and everything.

EDIT:

So it turns out that many computer programs can’t handle right-to-left language. And while I got good translations, cutting and pasting caused the characters to go down in inverse order. Which I didn’t catch, even when it was pointed out to me, because I am evidently a fucking idiot.

T-shirts are fixed and back up now. Updated images of the shirts are here. Shirts are for sale here.

Subscribe to Comments for Skippy's List

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 11th, 2009 at 8:45 pm and is filed under Skippy was a dumbass. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Stickfodder Says:
January 11th, 2009 at 10:10 pm

BACON!
I need that shirt.

That and the death to racial profiling shirt. That scull is just plain awesome.

Pericles Says:
January 11th, 2009 at 10:33 pm

Dude I’m so getting at least one of these.

braveheart Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 12:20 am

ummm… hate to be the bearer of bad news, but i think the righting on the shirts is backwards, it appears to be reading left to right (as in english) as opposed to right to left (as in arabic usually). i might be wrong, its been years since i studied the language and was never fluent, but you might want to look in to that… but other than that small hick-up this is the best idea i’ve heard all recession.

skippy reply on January 12th, 2009 1:09 am:

I’m in the same boat, in that I’ve had Arabic language classes in the past, but it’s been a really long time, and I don’t remember much. I did get the exclamation point on the bacon design on the wrong side, due to a cut and paste error, and just didn’t catch it until tonight. SO that’s getting fixed now. I’m pretty sure the rest of it is fairly accurate. Based on my marginal understanding of the language.

Stickfodder reply on January 12th, 2009 1:10 am:

Arabic is written right to left? Awesome! How do they feel about lefties?

Dave in NC reply on January 12th, 2009 6:46 am:

Seeing that the left hand is the one used to “wipe”…not good. Not good.

Stickfodder reply on January 12th, 2009 10:51 am:

I’ve never understood why eastern civilizations decided to just use their hands to wipe. Especially in countries like India, is it really so hard to take a leaf off a tree and use it? That’s what western civilization did.

skippy reply on January 12th, 2009 12:16 pm:

Okay, I’m stupid, if you cut and paste Arabic into a lot of American software it reveres the order of the characters.

CCO reply on January 15th, 2009 10:54 am:

Assumption junction how’s that function?

There’s a discussion in a physics book on the Coriolis effect. In a footnote the authors mention a WWI naval battle near the Falkland Islands. The British kept missing 100 yards to the left of the Germans. The sighting system had been set up for a northern hemisphere Coriolis effect. The Falklands are in the southern hemisphere. Oops.

Sweet Sister Morphine Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 12:27 am

“I Was Unconstitutionally Detained By Airport Security And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt”

Sod $250,000. I just want the T-shirt.

I don’t think I can run fast enough to get away with wearing the bacon one though. Guaranteed to offend cops and Muslims alike.

Minty reply on January 12th, 2009 1:32 pm:

Yeah, normally I think those “…and all I got was this t-shirt” shirts are silly, but I’d happily wear this one to board a plane. Especially since, as a blue-eyed blond white chick, I’m always detained to make it look like the airport isn’t racial profiling.

Sicarius reply on January 12th, 2009 8:18 pm:

I just got a red shirt from thinkgeek.com with ‘Expendable’ printed on the front (Star Trek reference) I made up my mind to wear it whenever I go through airport security, just in case they pick me.

Stickfodder reply on January 12th, 2009 10:10 pm:

They also have normal looking Star Trek Shirts. They come in Yellow Blew and Red. I REALLY want the red one.

Tzanti reply on January 15th, 2009 11:50 am:

I got stopped a few weeks after the London bombings. I was heading up to Paddington Station from the Tube, when a couple of nice gentlemen of the BTP asked if they could have a look in my rucksack.

“Do you know why we’ve stopped you today, sir?” One of them asked.

“Cos I’m bald, bearded and carrying a backpack?” I offered.

“Spot on.” He said.

Captcha: Works $25,000,000 – Net claims by folks detained in airports while sporting Skippy apparel?

CCO reply on January 15th, 2009 2:32 pm:

Well, there was the episode of NCIS where the sailor married the (Syrian?) spy; she had died her hair; don’t know about blue contacts.

Chance359 Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 12:31 am

I think your on to something here

Petros Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 2:03 am

I wonder how they’d react to the third one.

paula Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 4:22 am

I like the first and last best; the lack of artwork just seems to focus on the writing more.

Tim Covington Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 5:13 am

Well, I wonder how the TSA would feel about my shirt that has “Infidel” in Arabic on it. But, I really love the bacon shirt.

Draco reply on January 12th, 2009 5:44 am:

The Skippy ones are certainly on my “I Must have” list.

Where does one find this “Infidel” one though? I’d love to have one of those as well.Achells

Sgt. Spooky reply on January 12th, 2009 9:03 am:

Opsgear has Tan t-shirts(almost the same shade as the new army ACU undershirt) With “infidel” in English and arabic on the front, and your coice of American, Canadian, or UK, flags and nationality written in arabic.

Tim Covington reply on January 12th, 2009 5:32 pm:

I heartily endorse Skippy’s shirts. But, I got my Infidel shirt at a gun show from these people:
http://www.lifelibertyetc.com/product.aspx?pid=75

I really love the models.

StoneWolf Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 6:08 am

Damn you Skippy! Now I must spend part of my government paycheck on this! Sweet Irony!

Tzanti Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 6:42 am

I feel I should be patriotic about this…and send one to Prince Harry. Then again, I think he can afford his own.

CCO reply on January 12th, 2009 9:36 am:

Can you still get those shirts with the bullseye on them that say, “I’m Harry”?

BTW, about a year ago, there was an article in the Raleigh News and Observer about an encounter some AF pilots had with LT Wales; they said he did a good job of directing their ordinance.

Tzanti reply on January 12th, 2009 9:49 am:

Thanks for that. I looked up that piece you mentioned, I wish our media ran a few more stories like that. Currently he’s all over the papers for somewhat stickier reasons.

captcha: pained confusion – It’s Monday, what do you expect?

CCO reply on January 15th, 2009 11:07 am:

For something that he said three years ago, if I’ve heard correctly.

Then again, the “thought police” will get anyone if it makes the papers.

Life is too short; some things are better forgive and forgotten.

RECaptcha: Hammer Montreal. Isn’t that who the Hurricanes beat to win the Stanley Cup a few years ago? I saved the paper with the mayor of Montreal (I think) waving a Hurricane’s pennant.

(Yes, I’m starting to sound like the Chief of the Boat of the Vorpal Blade. It’s definitely time for lunch.)

JoAnn Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 10:30 am

I would rather have a “I will not submit” t shirt http://www.cafepress.com/hotairshop.74650428

Sequoia Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Skippy, I’m going to apology before saying this, but I’m OCD about spelling, bigtime. Reveres is incorrect spelling, it is R-E-V-E-R-S-E. Once again, I apology for my spellchecking.

skippy reply on January 12th, 2009 3:20 pm:

Thank you for bringing that to my attention. But be aware that when the zombie rise up I am so not letting you into my fort. :p

Stickfodder reply on January 12th, 2009 4:50 pm:

I think that the important question there is what kind of fort is it? Pillow fort or real fort.

Sequoia reply on January 12th, 2009 6:00 pm:

Well, me and my friends will have our own fort, and you can come in (if still living).

Sequoia reply on January 12th, 2009 6:02 pm:

But if you show up dead, I’ll gladly blow your brains out. No offense of course.

Twan reply on January 13th, 2009 3:32 pm:

Dude, don’t tell them, they’ll come looking now once the zombies attack and their forts are all smoking piles of zombie dinnerware. It could cause problems for our plans for the Marquettii Republic.

Sequoia reply on January 14th, 2009 1:20 pm:

Hey, you’re the one who gave away where we are.

Ozman Says:
January 12th, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Not sure how else to get this out to yall so here it is. I go to Texas A&M and was once a proud member of the Corps of Cadets (can’t be in it after your fourth year). Today the army had a presentation of a blackhawk for the cadets. Either during take off or landing there was a malfunction and it crashed. Four injured and one dead. There were four army reservists and one cadet. (Not sure who was injured and who died). Please keep them in your thoughts as you go about your week.

CCO reply on January 15th, 2009 2:26 pm:

Sorry to hear that.