Shelf Stacker Rules

November 16th, 2008 by skippy

Here is a list of bad ideas from a UK co-op grocery store.

(Submitted by Jason Cyrus)

1. Do not let customers hear you pointing out how retarded they are. This will get you reprimanded.
2. Even if they asked where to put the basket while standing 2 feet away from the pile of baskets.
3. Even if the boss agrees with your comments.
4. Do not undo the tops of twist top beer bottles to punish the anti-social alcoholics that enter, with stale beer.
5. Do not stash cash-checking pens in hiding places "Because the morons in the garden centre keep losing them."
6. Do not threaten to chop shoplifters hands off.
7. Do not threaten to put shoplifters in the ...

Fun with Intertubes

November 13th, 2008 by skippy

See if you can find the item in here that is not like the others.

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Viva Las Vegas!

November 12th, 2008 by LT Ronald

Went off to Vegas last month, it was quite a blast, but I have come to realize that there is a new list of things that I am no longer allowed to do in Vegas.

1. Cannot hit on Kirsten Dunst.

2. Even if my girlfriend says "I'd fuck her".

3. Because her bodyguards are rude (she totally wanted it).

4. Kirsten Dunst's bodyguards don't care if what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas.

Cannot tell the people trying to hassle you to buy tickets on the streets:

5. No I would not like any, but here, have a hooker calling card.

6. I'm Samuel L. Jackson, do I look like I want to go to a motherfuckin' show, I AM the motherfuckin' show, motherfucka.

7. Do you know

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It’s Veteran’s Day!

November 11th, 2008 by skippy

And so I'm keeping my post light tonight, as I am spending the evening with Chinese takeout, the Left 4 Dead demo, and The Guild on DVD.

And so here are a bunch or random thoughts I never got around to using for any other posts.

  • Veteran's Day should be a national holiday, but only for Veteran's.  Everyone else has to work.  And bring us beer.  And naked women.
  • Most people on the internet would rather eat a live baby than read an opinion they disagree with, even when it's just the set up to a joke.
  • If you are a morbidly obese black man, you should not go out in public wearing a red sweater over a white collared shirt.
  • If you are
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How to get away with murder

November 10th, 2008 by todd merriman

Here in Texas, they have a rule called the Castle Doctrine, which says if someone tries to break into your house, you don’t have to run away. You can just kill them. It looks good on paper, but I wonder if it doesn’t make it too easy to just call up somebody you don’t like and invite them over.

“Hey man, yeah. Look, we’ve had our differences over the years and I’d like to settle things once and for all. So come on over. I’ll put on a pot of coffee and we’ll talk things out. Oh hey, just so you know, the place is a little messy and the front door lock is stuck, so don’t bother knocking. I’ll leave

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Chemistry Lab List

November 9th, 2008 by skippy

And once again it is Monday, and time for another list update.  This list comes courtesy of a chemistry professor, who would like to not be named because it might interfere with getting tenure later.

(Submitted by Professor Anonymous)

1) Chemical burns are not badges of honor.

2) Yes, as a matter of fact, my dry ice privileges can be revoked

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3) Should not refer to teaching a freshman course as "destruct testing the lab".

4) "Design and build a still" is not an acceptable extra-credit assignment.

5) Telling students that harmless chemicals are poisonous is an inappropriate way to encourage lab safety habits.

6) Telling students that poisonous chemicals are harmless is an inappropriate way to avoid grading their lab reports.

7) Cannot reheat my lunch using

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No More Necro-Equestrian Pugilism

November 6th, 2008 by skippy

Originally I was planning to follow up LT Ronald's post on the election with one offering up my thoughts on how it turned out.

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