Skippy: “I’ve discovered the pizza cutter has a finger guard similar to a fighting knife. This should in no way concern you.”
My name is Janice Schwarz, known to you all here as “Mrs. Skippy”. (Outside of here, I’m known as GeekArtist. Or I use my real name; you can find me. Anyone that can’t find me online isn’t looking hard enough.)
Because my husband has been really busy with his game business, I’ll to start posting post on his behalf.
Ok, actually, I started this site called Skippy Sez, Life With Skippy: The Things Skippy Doesn’t Write, But His Wife Does. Yes, this is stuff he actually says, in real life. I don’t have enough of a way with words to make this shit up.
But I neglected to tell anyone about it. So ya know, it sat there. So I’m going to start posting those here instead.
181% funded. Woo!
Space Date 20120210
The GSC Incautious left the Alpha Centauri system to transport Admiral Taylor to a diplomatic conference of Arachne IV. There were some minor incidents between the diplomats, but my skilled and capable crew were able to smooth them over. Naturally there were casualties.
CPO Fowler: As it turns out “Nibbled to death by ducks” is not just an idiom.
CPO Buckmaster: Disappeared on a planet of filthy simian humanoids.
Petty Officer Harvey: Found a strange alien puzzle box. Then he opened it.
CPO Maelic001: Radiation suits. They’re not for show people.
CPO James: Attempted to reconfigure the engines for more power. It worked significantly better than anticipated.
CPO: Thomas: Witnesses claim he was eaten by an invisible dinosaur.
CPO Tretter: Arachnid diplomat laid eggs in his brain and frankly, he’s being a bit of a baby about it.
CPO Simpson: Death by Snu-Snu.
CPO Spurlin: Last seen yelling “Hey y’all. Watch this!”
CPO Amelia: Attempted to solve a non-euclidian geometry problem.
CPO Hall: Was found flat, inside of a giant footprint.
CPO Flemming: Was measuring the angular vector of a black hole and, well, he fell in.
CPO Page: Debated ethics with an omnipotent space being, with predictable results.
CPO Trnavsky: You know how there’s that latch to stop your helmet from coming off your hostile environment suit? Well neither did Trnavsky.
CPO Bruce: Contracted an exploding tumor.
CPO Mills: “It’s standing right behind me, isn’t it?”
CPO Furman: It turns out there was something in his closet after all.
CPO JohnB: From now on crewmen will only be allowed into alien lavatories in buddy teams.
CPO Akin: After the 319th vers of “Henry the 8th I am” he committed suicide.
Ensign Pascoe: Tested the new experimental Teleporter Array. Died upon being teleported inside another object.
CPO Allard: Died upon having Ensign Pascoe teleported inside of him.
CPO Hahn: Attempted to repair the exhaust port. Died when some redneck dropped a torpedo down it.
Ensign Zahniser: Poked some slime with a stick.
CPO Foley: Turns out that space station was abandoned for a reason
CPO Downing: Space Cooties
CPO Maghouin: Murdered and eaten by space grammar nazis. In the maintenance room.
CPO Surface: We’re not really sure, but boy was it hard to clean up.
CPO Kidd: Taunted a happy fun ball.
CPO Van Horn: Accidentally damaged the duplicator, and drowned in cream of mushroom soup.
Space Merchant Hendrickson: Brought small furry and perfectly harmless creatures aboard the ship with predictable results.
CPO Payawal: Was sent to see what happened to the last six teams to investigate the alien device. Has not yet reported back.
CPO Strack: Attempted to perform science on an energy being. The energy being was not enthusiastic about this development.
CPO Cruz: Was hoisted on his own Pikkard.
Ensign Wilson: It turns out Remulan doomsday devices are not as easy to defuse as you might think.
CPO Gulick: Visited the planet of beautiful, utopian and totally not suspicious women.
CPO: Carpenter: Crushed by a plummeting whale.
CPO Viar: It turns out the air on that planet wasn’t breathable after all.
CPO Odean: Sold to a crime lord to cover a gambling debt. My bad.
CPO Expendable: Really? Do I even have to explain what happened to this guy?
Commander Berezansky: Died at the hands of a previously unknown alien species. More details will be available as soon as his records tell us what they are.
CPO Ferry: Disintegrated by what appeared to be a salt shaker with a toilet plunger glued on.
CPO Shelky: Fell into a chocolate river, and then fell into the filter.
CPO Collard: The ship’s computer turned evil. Again.
Space Merchant Grimzag: Sometimes the shiny jewels are eggs. Just saying.
CPO Lovejoy: Was two days from retirement, with predictable results.
CPO Hanna: Went up against a Sicilian when death was on the line.
CPO Brown: Tragic goldfish incident. We don’t like to talk about it.
CPO Lynch: Some rocks can explode. You know because of science and stuff.
CPO Markosky: Murdered by some guy with a machete and a hockey mask, and who had no reason to be in space.
Space Merchant Twitchell: Was yanked screaming into an air duct in an incident that we are almost positive as not related to the previous two air duct deaths.
CPO Biernesser: The enertia dampener didn’t.
CPO Fabbi: Was accidentally sent to the dark mirror universe. It’s okay we like evil Fabbi better.
Petty Officer Kelbaugh: Some aliens trapped him in a crystal for no suitable explained reason.
Crewman Plunkett: The mission to deactivate the smash-bot 3000 did not go as anticipated.
Assume all subsequent crew died from falling rocks. I’m tired.
Thirty backers, and just shy of 25% of the total goal. I think that qualifies as a good first day. All we need to do is make sure that we keep up this level of interest, the WeaselPants Production Crew will be sitting on a giant pile of money. But instead of rolling around in this large money pile we will instead convert it into a smaller pile of games, some of which will be sent to you. So thanks for the strong start out of the gate, and keep showing us off to your friends.
Space Date 20120110
The GSC Incautious engaged on a routine patrol of the Alpha Centauri system. No major events transpired during the voyage. Just a calm peaceful cruise with no surprises. Naturally there were some unavoidable casualties.
CPO Kadolph: Attempted to execute a standard external repair. Forgot space suit.
CPO Kowalczeski: Testing a new mine detection system. It worked. Sort of.
CPO Systems: Was found <redacted for security purposes> and a 14 gallon drum of rum.
CPO Covington: Beaten to death. With his own Fayzor.
CPO Lorenzen: Eaten by cats in her cabin. We have no idea why she had so many.
Crewman Sean: Control panel exploded for no discernible reason.
CPO Braley: Well now we know what happens when you press that big red button.
CPO Dusty: Was teleported down to a holographic planet. Our bad.
CPO Brigdon: We don’t know what that thing was, but we’re pretty sure it’s in the air ducts now.
Crewman Sullivan: Legs found dangling out of an air duct. Torso not yet located.
CPO Wood: Explaining to subordinates what a cautionary tale is. Ironically as it turns out.
CPO Cassiday: Played Orc Barbarian on the Simu-deck, which malfunctioned.
CPO John: Played Space Ninja Racer on the Simu-deck, which malfunctioned.
CPO Tipton: Played Fuzzy Bunny Time on the Simu-deck. Why do we have that thing again?
CPO Trader: Surprise birthday party went horribly awry.
CPO Buxtion: Was rather unfortunately in between the cake and the device at said party.
CPO Sands: Found a pile of ash in his boots.
CPO Jackson: All witnesses swear he launched himself out of a torpedo tube.
CPO Quin: Nobody knew his species wasn’t supposed to be that color until it was too late.
Ensign Kent: Conjugated a verb improperly in front of a Klang’on. Klang’ons love grammar.
CPO ChrisS: Accidentally beaten to death with Ensign Kent.
CPO Ben-Orr: Burned as a witch. Long story. Don’t ask.
CPO JaredK: Robots don’t understand sarcasm.
CPO CH: Nerve pinches don’t work on carnivorous plants. Well now we know.
CPO Smallwood: Look, we told him not to play with the creepy alien child.
CPO Darling: Crush by the safety grating of the plasma thrust intake during maintenance.
Space Trader Overstreet: Sucked into a plasma thrust intake during cargo inspection.
CPO Frank: Incinerated after being sent to see “What’s that clonking noise in the plasma intake.”
CPO Ruskin: Dove through one of those blast doors that iris closed. Made it halfway.
CPO Roberts: Was attack by a sparkly space vampire. Died of embarrassment.
CPO Gibbs: Blood seeped out from under his door and frankly, nobody wanted to go look.
CPO Bampton: “It’s a shark! how did a shark get he–” Then a sort of wet crunchy noise over his communicator.
So the day has finally arrived. WeaselPants Productions is launching it’s first Kickstarter campaign. We are looking to print an updated version of Redshirts, and better quality cards. Even a small expansion set right in the box.
Now some of you might ask why we are doing that so quickly on the heels of the initial release of Redshirts. Well I’ll tell you.
It started of with “We need to reprint we are running out.”
And then we added, “And we need to update the rules a little, iron out the kinks and get a real tech writer so it’s less confusing. And maybe cram a few more house rules in that people liked”
And then “I wonder if we could add more cards? More cards would be good. No not more cards…and expansion!”
And thus things spiraled out of control. As sometimes happens here.
The short version is that we just need a small boost the get over the last hump to get this puppy out of the door, and we have some awesome rewards like copies of the game, exclusive Kickstarter cards, and custom cards. That is real, printed, you can use them in the game cards. And that’s only partway up the reward chart.
So go ahead, and have a look, and share it with your friends.
There are a lot of ways we can look at it.
We can lament the first responders that lost their lives, who rushed to their doom to save others.
Or we can celebrate the fact that we had so many heroes within our midst.
We can mourn the attack that hurt so many, so deeply, in an attempt to break our spirit.
Or we can choose to celebrate the fact that we have survived with our spirit so very much intact.
We can agonize over the very high cost of what followed, in terms of gold and more importantly, lives.
Or we can take comfort that so many were willing to place themselves between us and danger, whether you agree with how it was done or not.
We can discuss this day in the terms of blame, politics, and name calling.
Or we can hit the people that do so with a stick.
Leave the bickering for another day.
Today is a day to honor what was lost, and take solace in what it proved we have.
So GenCon was cool.
I got to hang with several notables in the field of nerdom. I went to dinner with Howard Taylor and Michael Williamson.
The crew of Smirk and Dagger Games invited me to hang out. They didn’t even get mad when we came up with the most horrible Run For Your Life Candyman supplement ever.
The guy that invented Killer Bunnies came to my booth to tell me how much he like Redshirts, and I managed to avoid squealing like my daughter when she gets a new stuffed animal. But just barely.
I had a booth right across from Slugfest Games. Years ago one of their bigwigs graciously allowed me to pitch one of my board games to them. And then in a polite, professional, and not unkind manner they ripped it apart. I used the advice they gave me to improve how I went about game design. I would quite literally not have my company today if it wasn’t for them. I told them so too.
I met a lot of folks who retail my game, and sold a lot of product. Like a ridiculous amount. We sold through all of the promo cards we had in stock and our artist, David Reddick was there to make custom Redshirts. We actually turned a profit going to GenCon, and I have been informed that doesn’t happen very often.
And managed to trade copies of my game for a few hundred dollars of other peoples games.
I only had one person say that the rules were so badly written that they practically ruin the game. Granted they were a famous cartoonist, but hey, you can’t win them all.
There are days when it sucks to be Skippy. Those four days in Indianapolis where not among them.
I know I’ve been gone a long time. But between running a business and caring for children, something had to give. This site was one of those things. So for those of you on subscription, or occasionally popping back in, hello again, I am now going to be making an effort to keep up on here.
I arrived at Vegas for the Star Trek Creation con on Tuesday. Nichelle Nichols was present as a guest of the con.
Over the weekend, she had moved on to Space City Houston, where there was another booth set up by the WeaselPants team. Suspicious.
At GenCon Ms. Nicholls was a guest of Honor yet again. I think that she is stalking us.
Vegas was hot and expensive. We sold some product (although not as much as I would have liked) and made a ton of good contacts in the Star Trek community. I got to finally meet my artist David Reddick, in person.
Lessons learned from the Star Trek con:
- If you get the theme from the Gary Shandling show stuck in your head, it ain’t coming out any time soon.
- If you take a booth assistant to a Star Trek convention, make sure she knows something about Star Trek. So she doesn’t accidently try to sell your game to LeVar Burton.
- This is the theme to Gary’s Show…
- Be nice to people. You never know when that woman you helped in booth set up might turn out to be the personal assistant of a famous Trek Actor.
- Australians in Star Fleet uniforms are crazy.
- …the theme to Gary’s show…
- Most famous actors are very pleasant well-adjusted people. But a few will go off like a human land mine. They don’t have anything personal against you, but if you happen to be there when they detonate, it will end badly.
- For some reason, people will approach your booth, tell you that they bought your game online, and hated it. And then they will buy the promo cards.
- …Gary called me up and asked me if I would write his theme song…
- There is such a thing as a Tribble crane machine.
More details on GenCon soon.
This past weekend I attended Dallas Comic Con. It was a success, and by success I mean I made more money than I spent.
I had several interesting events transpire while I was there.
I go to meet Randy Milholland of Something Positive and Joel Watson of Hijinks Ensue. I have gotten piles of entertainment out of their comics, so I gave each of them a free copy of the game. They both knew my artist David Reddick and were impressed with his work.
While I was there I tried to sell my original Star Wars movie poster. It turns out, lots of people want to buy an original Star Wars movie poster. Not many want to pay near what it’s worth however.
At one point I woman with family in tow approached my booth, and I began my sales pitch. Due to the angle one of my booth banners blocked the view of me from most of the isle. Once I stepped out to show her more about the game I hear “Skippy?” It was a guy who lived in my dorm in college.
I had a Skippyslist fan come up to the booth. So far every single Con I go to contains at least one person who has heard of Skippyslist. And you’d better believe that I will find a way to milk that into a sale.
At one point as I was heading out to grab lunch when I overhead part of a sentence between two fans. “–a bunch of web comics, and he works for Garfield.”
This weekend I get to try out my first convention since Redshirts has arrived. And so off I go spend the weekend selling as many copies as I possibly can. I’ve never actually worked at a con where I was selling directly to the public before, so this should be interesting, to say the least.
So if you are in the DFW area, be sure to check out Dallas Comic Con. And buy several copies of the game.