Like I said, I can't stand the way the media portrays us vampires. Oh sure, pure evil -- that doesn't bother me. I'd think that about anything that might eat me, and thus viewed me with the same contemptible objectification one holds for a plate of fish. I don't mind that. It's just -- have some god damn consistency, will you?

Like, I saw this movie preview the other night. It's about vampires that move about in the light of day, and they don't like to drink human blood. The prefer to hunt animals in the woods because they're too busy falling in love with the humans. I'm like, "Who's leading that vampire clan, Count Chocula?"

The only story I've seen that

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I am now an Arizonian.  Driving cross country with a car full of animals was less fun than it sounds.  Adapting to the heat is a whole new experience.  Me and my wife are from Texas, so we thought we understood heat.  Hah. Texas is merely warm.  Arizona is a sun-blasted hellscape. So far we have an Internet connection, a card table and an air mattress but no other form of furniture as our movers have decided that we didn't actually need any stuff until next week. But my new job is completely awesome so it all works out. I would also like to thank Michiel for taking over while I was unable to run the site.  And I would also like to thank ...

Bitch cheated on me while I was deployed. It sucks, but oh well, life goes on. It's been two years now. I have a beautiful girlfriend, who, if she signs the pre-nup will become my beautiful fiance. (Screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me).

If there is two things that my cheating succubus gave me, aside from less than savory credit and an ample distrust of the opposite sex, is two wonderful precocious children. About 8 months after the split I was enjoying some quality time with my children at a waterpark. While on the lazy river with my 6 year old daughter, two beautiful young women engaged me in conversation.

My daughter, who wasn't completely cool with dad

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OK, I knew there was supposed to be a post for Monday, but I forgot that it needs to be posted on SUNDAY night.

This running a blog is harder and more complicated than I thought. There's like details and stuff to attend to. I'm not sure I was prepared for that.

In my defense, I am the actor manager at a new haunted house, here in Austin and we had our dress rehearsal/trial run on Saturday.

Sunday, I had to spend time with the woman, and we went out and got a microwave oven for our new place, as well as unpacked a few things and tried to straighten up the place a bit.

Seriously, I love you guys, but if I took

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Yesterdays post by me was just a test, to see who could follow instructions. And I would like to thank all of you who submitted items for todays posting. I will post them in the next entry, after this one.

But now that I know I have a strong contingent of followers, who will do as I command, it is time for me to decide whether I should raise an army or start my own religion.

If I were a peaceful man, I would raise an army, but I figure I can do more damage with a religion. Plus a religion will probably last longer than an army,too

At the moment we are just cult sized, and we all know that the only

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Here is a fun little time sucker of a game. I recommend playing it at work with the volume down. (Thanks Andrew)

If you are at work, and are tired of dealing with customers, or looking for great ideas on how to deal with those "special" customers, you may want to check this one out. (Thanks R Salas)

For all you techy/help desk types you will appreciate this video. Seriously, this one hits the mark. (Thanks SGT William)

If your Friday feels incomplete, how about a little blasphemous fun to round out your day? And a second one in case the first wasn't blasphemous enough for you. (Thanks Kelly)

Here is a video of someone trying desperately to

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I was thinking that yesterdays post may have been a bit harsh. I let my new found power go to my head.

I don't need to be an ego-maniacal dictator just because Skippy is incommunicado. No, this should be a fun time for all of us.

It's like having mom and dad out of the house. We have an entire website devoted to humor, all to ourselves.

And you know what that means...

PARTY!

Oh, hell ya! We are going to party like it is 1999, (because those were better times for damned near everyone). So lets go nuts.

As a one time offer, I want submissions from all of you for the "Found on the Internet" section that Skippy does when he has nothing else

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