So, I have one of the coolest web hosts on the planet. Long-time readers may remember what happened last year when my site got nailed by Digg. She does a really great job making sure everyone can read my opinions on video games, military leadership, and vampire survival. Which is great because I feel that the whole world is entitled to my opinions, and you will all thank me when the vampires come for you. (Oh yes, you will.)

Well not only does Jen do a superb job in letting all of you read the babble that spills out of my brain, she also finds to time to work with charities. Not only is she working with a charity, but she picked the first recipient for her help in honor of me. This is great for two reasons. One, she’s helping to feed my ego. Which is pretty close to the most wonderful thing a person can do. (Sing my praises! SING, DAMN YOU!) Also, by honoring me in this way she pretty much obligates me to write about it, which should hopefully drive some attention to her cause. Which just goes to show that she is exactly the kind of smart and canny individual that you want helping your charity. Or being your web host for that matter.

Here’s another fun fact about Jen. Last August she and her son Jacob got to meet Stephen Colbert. And there is an interesting story there.

Jacob has a fairly serious problem with his heart. He has needed multiple surgeries and tons of other kinds of medical treatment. One of the few silver linings of cases like this is that he got to make use of the Make-A-Wish foundation. And through the two of them I got to learn a few things about how it works.

First of all, I learned that George Lucas will not meet with Make-A-Wish kids. He will let them go to Skywalker Ranch. But he won’t meet them. This puzzled me until I thought about it. If I had mangled a beloved science fiction franchise as badly as he had, I might be leery about letting a nerd with a life threatening illness near me. Some kid is going to show up with a dynamite vest screaming, "This is for Jar-Jar you bastard!"

So Jacob decided to meet with a classy celebrity. And thus he got to go visit the Colbert Report. He got to hang out backstage, meet Stephen. His mother even mentioned to my wife and me that they hung out with a journalist who was a guest on the show that day. I didn’t think much of that until I watched that episode later. It turns out the journalist was Tom Ricks. (And this was not long after that incident.)

And I mourned a lost opportunity. I could have gotten Jacob to give him grief. Jacob would make the perfect agent to antagonize Tom. No matter what he said, Mr. Ricks would have to take it. I mean, who’s going to be mean to a Make-A-Wish kid? It would have been awesome.

Of course, it has been pointed out that it would be really messed up to try to subvert some kids special Wish-Day into an attempt for petty revenge for a minor disagreement. "Now jacob, I know that this is your special day and all, but I need you to be mean to the reporter, can you do that for me buddy?" Yeah I’m a horrible person. But I’m funny, so it’s all okay.

So a few years ago I saw Terminator 3.  To say that I thought it was a bad movie would be a mild understatement.  It was a train wreck with opening credits and a soundtrack.  It’s so bad that I actually enjoy the other movies less, knowing that part 3 exists.

But next month there’s going to be a TV show, and I’m kind of excited about it.  I mean sure it’s on FOX which means that they’ll kill it at the first sign that it looks decent, but they lined up a good cast and the previews make it seem pretty interesting.

On a similar note, it appears that there will soon be a new Star Wars live action show.  And despite the fact that each of the three last Star Wars movies made T3 look like Shakespeare, I’m still looking forward to that too.

I am positive that I am not alone in this phenomenon.  Nerds have become the equivalent of those housewives you used to see on Jerry Springer.  The ones who, despite years of abuse, keep going back to the same violent men because, “This time he promises he won’t hit me any more.”

Movie Viewer : Oh my god! That movie was terrible! What the hell happened to it George?

Mr. Lucas: (Gives a vicious glare)Yeah.  What happened to it?

Nerd Audience: It fell.  Down the stairs.  Twice.

Mr. Lucas: That’s what I thought….now get back in the kitchen and fry me up a pork chop you geeks!

Now I have a mental picture of a trailer park filled with a collection of white-trash nerds…and which I have now passed on to you.  Your brain probably now feels about as clean as Lindsey Lohan’s bicycle seat.  Pleasant dreams.