Last week I played a prank on my readers, by leading them along about an unpleasant subject, before turning it into a joke. If you just got here, go ahead and read it now, I’ll wait.

I’d say that I am sorry for doing that to my regular readers, but let’s face it. You know that I’m not, and that’s probably why you keep reading my site. Because you know that I have the capacity and the willingness to turn painful emotional turmoil into a bad pun. That’s just the kind of service I like to provide.

But it has been pointed out to me that this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed publicly more often.

We currently have a suicide epidemic amongst those that serve. Take a look at this article.

Over 6,000 veterans killed themselves in 2005. That’s more than we have lost in combat since operations in Iraq began.

And so I am going to talk about the same thing, but this time no jokes.

Pretty much everything I described about my problems coming home from Kosovo was true, with the exception of the model part.

I got back to the states and took leave right away. I was a little weirded out at first, which I just attributed to having been home for only a week or so. I noticed that I now had issues with being in crowded areas. And once a friend of mine tried to run up and hug me. I reacted by stiff-arming her hard in the chest with my left hand, while reaching my right arm to my side where my (now imaginary) rifle would be hanging, to make sure she couldn’t grab it. Which was a tad embarrassing.

Upon returning I was sent to language school.

Unfortunately I stopped falling asleep at night. I lashed out at my teammates, and I couldn’t concentrate or study worth a damn. Which made trying to study Arabic go from a rather unpleasant exercise in futility to nightmarishly unpleasant exercise in futility. I tried to talk about it with a few of the soldiers I worked with, but was mostly left with the impression that they thought less of me for bringing the subject up. So I quit trying to talk about it. And so I just got worse.

Maybe soldiers are better about this sort of thing now. I certainly hope they are. But if one of your buddies has started acting like an ass lately, talk to him about it. Make sure he’s alright. I know that it can seem like the sorta thing that rough-tough, high-speed, low-drag troopers shouldn’t worry about. He might even make fun of you. But would you rather suffer through an uncomfortable conversation, or find out that one of your pals was in serious pain, in need of help, and that you didn’t do anything to help?

Eventually my team SGT decided that something was seriously wrong and did send me to the medical center to speak to a shrink. And I was diagnosed with PTSD. And my treatment was Wellbutrin and sleeping pills.

Because if there’s one thing a soldier with PTSD needs, its a bottle of sleeping pills. Don’t worry though, he wasn’t completely irresponsible. He asked if I was suicidal first. Its not like a soldier would ever lie about something like that, and besides, I’m sure that the nearly half an hour he spoke to me gave him enough of an impression of who I was and how I was doing.

So let’s recap. Half an hour with a doctor. Two bottles of pills, and an appointment to come back in a few weeks to see how I was holding up.

Things did not improve significantly. Maybe Wellbutrin has helped some other people. But in my case, it just made me feel hyper, frantic, and hostile. Also, it made Dr. Pepper taste funny for some reason.

Fortunately I did happen to have a decent social support network outside of the military. I have a family that gives a damn about me, and I had plenty of non-military friends that I spoke to. And they also noticed I was acting different since I had gotten back.

And what turned out to work for me was talking about my issues with people I could trust. And it didn’t get better overnight. But over time, it did. I quit taking the pills and told Army mental health “Thanks I feel fine now all better!” for pretty much the same reasons. Because they weren’t doing a darn thing to make me feel better. And I talked it over with my friends a whole bunch more. After a few months I started to feel a little better. And after about a year or so I was pretty much over it for the most part. Although I’m still not all that comfortable in crowds anymore.

Now I’m not claiming that pills are always going to be bad for you. Nor am I saying that talking to your friends fixes everything.

There are good and bad doctors in the Army, and I think I just happened to draw a bad one. And the pills didn’t help me. But talking it out did.

So if you feel like you are having any trouble coping after a deployment, talk to someone about it. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with those you serve with, talk with your family, or friends outside of the service. Check with the mental health people in your branch of service. If you don’t want to talk about it with your chain of command, lie about having an STD scare and go anyways. If you do go with military mental health services, remember that they should be making you feel better, not worse. If they make you feel worse, speak to someone else, or try to find a private therapist or councilor. Talk you your Pastor, Rabbi, or High Priestess. Look online for support groups. Hell post anonymously in the comments on my site if you just can’t find anyone else to talk to, please just talk to someone.

And for everyone who has had any experience with problems like this, please share any information on any resources you happen to know about that could help.

Some Resources:

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

National Center for PTSD

PTSD Support Services

Military One Source - Anonymous mental health care for people in the service.

This might be painful to read. Just a warning.

One of the things that tends to get glossed over in various discussions of the current war is the severe emotional toll that gets inflicted on our troops during a conflict. You occasionally hear something in the news, but for the most part people just don’t notice. And for many soldiers even admitting that these problems exits is taboo. Real soldiers don’t get worn down emotionally. Only weak soldiers do.

I have considered this carefully, and decided that I am going to share my experience on this subject. Long time readers may recall that I served in Bosnia and Kosovo. Bosnia wasn’t really all that bad. By the time I showed up the multi-national force had been in place for several years. I worked in an office, and for the most of the serious fighting had ended by the time I arrived.

But Kosovo was another matter.

Now before I go into this I want to stress a few things. I am not trying to claim that my experience in Kosovo was as bad as what soldiers in other conflicts had to deal with. This isn’t about being in some sort of pissing contest with other veterans. Soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq experienced far worse than me. I don’t even like imagining what soldiers in Viet Nam went through. And many soldiers got through those conflicts emotionally unscathed. This is actually what trips some people up. They compare themselves to other soldiers in other conflicts and go, “Well it wasn’t as bad as they had it. I don’t have the right to feel all messed up.” But it’s not about how bad other people had it. Its about what you went through, and how it made you feel.

In Kosovo I was in a non-combat, tactical unit. This meant we traveled around “outside the wire” all day, but we weren’t specifically tasked with patrolling or engaging hostile units. We got to speak to the locals, find out their needs, advise them on US Army activities, and try to help encourage a better relationship between them and US Forces. Oh, also we were supposed to undo roughly 300 years of ethnic strife.

I wasn’t involved with very much combat. There was some while I was there, but for the most part, I was pretty lucky and avoided the worst of it.

But the sheer amount of suffering that the locals had gone through started to grind on me after a while. That and the fact that even after all that suffering, nobody was willing to quit. It was like the entire country was one giant asylum filled with the violently insane. People treated grudges from four generation ago the way you or I would treat something that happened yesterday.

And when you’re in the Army, it’s not cool to talk about how stuff like that is starting to seriously bug you. And so I kept it to myself.

Eventually I shipped back to the states. And then I had trouble sleeping. And I started snapping at the people I worked around. Eventually I decided that I needed to take up some sort of hobby in an attempt to get back into a decent head space. Since I used to build models when I was in high school, I decided to give that a try. And as I have always been a huge history nerd, I got a scale model of a Mesopotamian step pyramid. Over the course of a week, I put that sucker together until after a particularly bad day, I took it out to the parking lot and set in on fire. One of my NCOs noticed me doing this and gave me a “Are you nuts?” look, but he left it alone.

Well I felt kind of stupid after that, so I bought another one, and tried to finish it again. I got closer to finishing it, but again, a bad day set me into a rage and I took it outside and put it to the torch.

The same NCO witnessed this act as well and he decided that something was wrong. And The next day I found myself ordered to go to the health clinic to see about getting some help.

And that’s when the doctor told me the news:

“Son, if you don’t stop smoking ziggurats it’s gonna kill you.”

For those of you who are just reading for the first time check out this post from last week.

So I have been leaving comments in Amy Proctor’s site about this, and my feelings on the subject. I pointed out that nearly every argument that she made could be applied towards banning a religion from the post, provided that someone else objected to it.

She responded with:
“Right, Skippy, banning the sexualization of women for profit on posts and banning religion are one in the same. I don’t know why i didn’t see it sooner.”

Actually, it is the same thing.

It is the exact same thing.

It is allowing one group to look at another and say, “You can’t do that because I don’t like it”. It is saying “You shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions that I don’t agree with.”

And if religion gets a free ride, what then happens when someone makes a religion around porn? There is already one based around the Jedi Knights. So its more probable that you would think. I’m sure the argument would become “No, only real religions get protected status”. Call me on it if I’m wrong, Amy.

But the Army, for better or for worse, can and does limit religious expression on post. Rastafarian’s don’t smoke pot, Wiccans could barely practice and not have their sacred items confiscated, and I’m positive that no one will be sacrificing a POW to Tláloc to ensure a good rainy season and bountiful harvest anytime soon. Heck, I’m pretty sure that the Westboro Baptist Church wouldn’t be welcome on most bases.

Now, people have tried arguing with her on facts. The damage that she claims porn will cause has not materialized in societies where porn is accepted. Nor have these kinds of harm shown up in societies that have newly accepted porn.

But facts would not sway her.

And people tried logic. They pointed out that ink and paper can’t hurt someone. That magazines sealed in plastic don’t actually effect her simply by existing. The whole “they are harmful on post but safe if stored five minutes away” borders on superstition. That, or the belief that they are somehow radioactive. (Completely inappropriate side note: What superpowers would you get from a radioactive adult magazine? Defend your choices.)

Logic would not budge her.

And so I am left with my last, and perhaps strongest tool.

Farce.

A Modest Proposal…..For Military Bases

As Amy has pointed out, people who claim to support the military and our troops must also support the families of our soldiers. There are a growing number of soldiers who also have families. And our soldiers must be secure in the knowledge that their wives, and more importantly, their children, will receive adequate care and protection at all times. A soldier who is insecure about his family’s well-being is a soldier that cannot focus on his job. And when soldiers cannot focus on their jobs it can lead to unnecessary waste, accidents, and even death.

And so, I am forced to draw your attention to a growing danger facing our military families.

Catholicism.

“But Skippy”, you might say, “Catholicism is a religion. How can you accuse a religion of being dangerous to the military family?”

And so I will demonstrate the harm.

First of all, Catholics teach symbolic cannibalism. It’s right there during Mass, where everyone can see it. Now, if a consenting adult wishes to partake in such activities during their free time, that is their right. But it should certainly be limited to off-post, because non-Catholics shouldn’t have to have their children exposed to the idea that it is okay to eat people.

Secondly, Catholics drink wine as part of their religious services. Again, adults should be allowed to whatever they like, but there are children on Army bases now. And children shouldn’t be encouraged to drink. Because alcohol has been positively linked to alcoholism.

The current leader of the Catholic Church is a former Hitler Youth. An organization that teaches that Nazis are the infallible representatives of God’s will is on our Army bases? Goodness I should hope not.

And many people worry, justifiably I might add, that certain practices on base might harm our children. But who has time to worry about ink and glossy paper when there are children who have been irreparably harmed by Catholicism? By having turgid priest injected directly into their buttholes. Which the Church condoned by covering up. And then assigning the priests to go work with other children. I don’t think that child rapists, or their apologists, belong in the same places as our soldier’s families.

And this is just the modern, current era issues. Let’s not forget the Crusades, institutionalized torture, the Inquisition, witch trials, the selling of indulgences, religious suppression, the consumption of fish on Friday, and genocide. It’s like a laundry list of unacceptable behavior.

Now I’m not saying that soldiers shouldn’t be allowed to practice their faith as they see fit. After all, they are adults and their free time is theirs to do with as they please. I’m just pointing out that common sense dictates that the behavior of the Catholic Church is incompatible with military families.

And really, is it such a big deal to make all of the Catholics go off-post to spend their free time in the manner that they so choose? I would think that the well-being of the children should definitely come first, before the selfish desires of the Catholic Faithful.

Military Honor and Decency Act

Long term readers may remember this post.

And so once again we have a group of people that think they know more than the rest of us should.

If you have any respect for our soldiers, or value freedom in any way, you should contact your Representative and tell them that you don’t support this.

I first saw this on my regular Internet news sites and at first I thought, “Eh, I’ve written about this before.” But then one of my readers, Patrick, sent me this site. As I read Mrs. Proctor’s arguments and her defense of them, I found myself getting angry. And then I realized that an unfortunate reality is that silence equals consent.

I do not consent to having our soldiers privileges sacrificed on the altar of political expediency.

I do not consent to freedom of speech being limited to only things that are bland and fail to offend the tender sensibilities of the sexually repressed.

I do not consent to politicians, who as a group are typically some of the most horrifically amoral people on the planet, deciding that they get to dictate proper morality for the rest of us.

I do not consent to allowing people to get away with pretending that their moral decisions are more valid than mine.

I do not consent to lazy parents abdicating their responsibility and instead demand that society at large eliminate anything they don’t like, to prevent them from ever having to have an awkward conversation.

I do not consent to a magazine being banned from sale because someone doesn’t like it.

I do not consent to our brave soldiers being bullied in this manner.

Now to answer some of the obvious responses to my statement.

“Pornography is harmful to women”
-How so? I have run a careful experiment exposing my wife to pornography. She has yet to catch fire, develop cancer, or run off to become a prostitute. Okay, maybe if a pallet of dirty magazines was to fall on you it would hurt. But I think you’d be just as crushed if they were bibles.

“Pornography leads to rape”
-I’m sure that this is following the logic that some person once read porn, and then went on to rape someone. There are also rapists who have read the bible, sang pop songs, and driven automobiles. I think I am safe in saying that most men in the U.S. have looked at porn at some point in their life. And most of us have managed not to rape anybody so far.

“Think about how porn affects the women on military bases”
- With the possible exception of that Air Force SGT that posed for Playboy last year, I would have to say, “Not affected in the slightest”. Unless they are buying and reading it, in which case I might go with “they are titillated.”

“They can always go somewhere else to get it”
-Not always. Some might be stuck on post for some reason. Or they may be deployed to a country where it is not readily available in the economy. Maybe they don’t have a car. Perhaps they are on a ship.

“It’s degrading to women”
-How so? The women who are getting told, “You are so beautiful that we will pay you thousands of dollars for the privilege of looking at you” don’t seem degraded to me. Are other women degraded simply by the magazines being nearby? Because men are looking at the pictures? Because men are thinking impure thoughts after looking at those magazines? So in this logic chain no one but the model, the PX, the magazine, and the man who bought it are involved. I’ve heard some people say that the magazines make men look at women who are around them with lust, but let me tell you, men don’t need magazines for that, we are quite capable of perving out without them.

“Think of the children”
-You know what I think? I think that a kid with one or more parents overseas with a serious threat of bodily harm has more important concerns than a magazine sealed in plastic. And even if it wasn’t sealed in plastic: “Oh noes! Teh naked boobies! I am scarred for life!” Seriously, it’s one thing to not want your kid exposed to something. It’s another to think that everyone else needs work around your hang-ups. Also, Playboy magazine wasn’t involved in a nasty series of child rape cover-ups in recent years. Things more important than magazines could be banned from post if people are allowed to start trampling on rights over “protect the children”.

“But they don’t need it”
-You absolutely right. They don’t need it. But the fact that the PX keeps selling it tells us that they want it. If porn was eliminated soldiers could still do their job. There are lot’s of things that soldiers don’t need to do their jobs. Video games, alcohol, cigarettes, movies, the Internet. We could ban all of those things from post and soldiers could still function. Just because someone doesn’t need something doesn’t give you the right to take it away. Soldiers also don’t need to have families on post. And judging from the behavior of some military wives, I think an argument could be made for keeping them off-post only. One just as strong as banning Penthouse and Playboy.

I think people should be free to practice, or abstain from the practice, of any religion they so choose. And if your faith tells you that you should avoid dirty magazines, well then that is a great reason to not purchase or look at dirty magazines. But it is a horrible reason to try to make other people stop having them. Your right to practice your faith ends at your neighbor’s right to practice his.

So in closing, the human body is nothing to be ashamed of, sexuality is a valid form of expression, and “Family Values” is just a dirty way of saying censorship.

Well it took me forever, but I have finally started adding to the Friends of Skippy List once again.

(Submitted By SSG Lorraine A. Morrison)

• Do not order boot MP’s to take a larceny report from MSG Ramen at the commissary. They will wander around for hours before they realize that MSG Ramen is a soup

• Do not send buck privates to the motor pool for one gallon of frequency grease.

(Submitted By Brian Hunter)

• Not allowed to label flu season tissues as biological warfare agents.

• Must not label the Texas Chili MRE as chemical warfare.

• Even if it could be used as such.

• Not allowed to start a music act called Run-DMZ.

(Submitted By Chris Jacka)

• Bright colored g-strings are not an acceptable form of underwear for a layout before a FTX.

• It is also not advised to then take said garments on said FTX and come out of the tent while snowed in wearing only a watch cap, boots and silver g-string and run around the mortar.

• Lastly, NEVER, EVER, greet the new E-3 fresh from the Ranger Battalion while wearing a gold g-string and combat boots and gently ask him if he needs anything.

(Submitted By Jessica Hoeting)

• I’m not a ninja, and they CAN see me

(Submitted By CPL Ian Yee -Who was a very busy lad)

• Hedonism is not an army authorized religion. Therefore I’m not allowed to build a church, cult, or donation box for the Church of Hedonism. Nor can I be the chaplain of said church.

• “Surprise Sex” or “Ambush Sex” is not a valid substitute for the phrase “sexual assault”.

• “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” is the army’s policy for gays, not an appropriate response when asked by your chain of command why you showed up to formation in your underwear.

• You may not refer to members of your chain of command as the “weakest link”.

• You also may not hold a vote to decide which member of your chain of command you can “boot off the island”.

• CLP is used to lubricate weapons. Not for personal use.

• The Air Force is a service, not how hard you blow up your inflatable “significant other”.

• Your dog does not count as immediate family, therefore you cannot use that as a reason to go home on emergency leave.

• Do not bang the bottom of a Mk 19 round and attempt to play football with it.

• Especially in front of your chain of command.

• Especially when you’re throwing it to your chain of command.

• “Hooyah Master Chief” is not an appropriate way to respond to any army officer.

• Work is not a valid allergy to put on your medical records. Neither is BS, officers, NCO’s, or latrine duty.

• Just because you say you’re allergic to latrines does not give you permission to piss anywhere you want. The Sergeant Major’s flower bed thanks you.

• Do not try to speed in your humvee and use the excuse “I needed to go 88 mph to achieve 1.21 jiggawatts Sir!”

• You may not combine any part of the uniform at any time. Therefore shower shoes, pt shorts, IBA, and beret is not an acceptable duty uniform. No matter how sexy you say you look.

• MySpace is a place for friends, not for posting guard rosters or passing out information to your soldiers.

• It is not appropriate to say the word “asshole” after saying the rank of sergeant major.

• The OPFOR patch is not an authorized combat patch.

• I will not hand out tickets for driving the speed limit.

• I will not replace the COL PARKING ONLY sign with a SPC PARKING ONLY sign.

• Just because you put a handicapped sticker on your humvee doesn’t mean you can take the C.O.’s spot.

• Do not replace all the contents of the first aid kits with water and Motrin.

• CamelBaks are for water, not beer.

• Not everyone in the Navy is called Seamen.

• Also, the proper spelling of Seamen is not semen.

• There is no such thing as Specialist grade article 15’s, so stop handing them out.

• You cannot trade guard shifts with the voices in your head.

• You cannot request Amsterdam, Cancun, or the Playboy Mansion as your preferred duty station.

• Checking out a female is not called “Reconnaissance of friendly lines”.

Ever since I have started writing this blog, I have have started getting an increase in traffic. And the increase in traffic has in turn lead to an increase in questions being emailed to me. I don’t mind, I like the attention and I certainly have no problem sharing any experiences I have in both the military and the game industry. But I do wind up getting similar questions a lot. So to combat that problem, and to help provide a resource for people who might want more information on those subjects, I have created two new pages.

So you want to be a soldier?

and

So you want to make video games?

From now on, all questions I receive about either subject are going up there, unless the submitter specifically asks me not to.

Also, I’m leaving comments on because as unlikely as it sounds, I don’t necessarily know everything, and sometimes someone else may have other helpful ideas.

Here is another user submitted story by one of the rarest creatures on the planet. A fun officer.

Here is one of those, “You just can’t make this shit up” stories.

No shit, there I was; Camp Shelby Mississippi, pre-mob training for an OIF
deployment. One of my medics, SPC Nancy, was playing “victim” during a STX
lane, and ended up with her arm caught in the closing ramp of an M113 APC.
Needless to say her arm was black and blue, and up in a sling.

Since this was pre-mob training, our unit was on “lock-down”, meaning no one
went anywhere, but to the gym, PX, or post theater. The night after SPC
Nancy’s accident, was a “Wal-Mart Night”. “Wal-Mart Nights” meant that the guys
could put on their shiny shoes, and the girls would tease their hair, because
“Oh Baby, we’re going to Wal-mart tonight!” It meant that the Joes could wear
civilian clothes, and take a bus ride to the local Wal-mart.

Because of SPC Nancy’s injury, she was just not up to going to Wal-Mart. Being
the kind, caring, and compassionate CO that I am, I took $20 and handed it to
PV2 Powell and told him to get that young lady a hot water bottle to put on
her arm when he went to Wal-Mart. Now PV2 Powell, who, by the way, is not the
smartest of privates, took the $20 and his best buddy PFC Lewis, also, not
the smartest of privates, and went to Wal-mart on a mission.

After searching for a hot water bottle for over 10 minutes to no avail, PV2
Powell went to the cosmetics counter and asked the lady for help finding a
hot water bottle. The lady saw the look of confusion, and purpose on PV2
Powell’s face, and asked him if the product was for a woman.

“Why Yes, Yes it is for a woman!” said PV2 Powell.
“Oh, okay honey, come with me.” Said the woman.

She pointed them down the aisle, and when PV2 Powell read the carton “Hot Water bottle/ D - O - U…. What’s a Douche?” he asked PFC Lewis, to which PFC Lewis replied “I think that’s French for ‘hot water bottle’”. (No Shit! It actually is.) “I’ll take it!” said a very proud PV2 Powell.

Upon return to the company area PV2 Powell presented the gift to SPC Nancy
and told her “Here, the CO thinks that you should use this.”