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Traffic Court

February 7th, 2011 by Stealthdozer

On Sunday, 06 November 2005, at 0814L, BU2 William C. Waldron, of the Naval Air Base Brunswick Police Force, alleged that I sped through the stop sign posted at Jay Beasley Circle and Pegasus Ave, and issued me a ticket.

At first BU2 Waldron accused me of rolling past a stop sign. When I calmly stated that this wasn’t so he stated that I was being argumentative, and whined “I’m just doing my job.” He collected my license, registration, proof of insurance, and base pass. Then he returned to his patrol SUV where he escalated his charge from “rolled past a stop sign” to “sped past a stop sign”. I wonder if he reasoned that this would show me not to argue with the police? I simply noted every statement he made.

I refused to sign his ticket.

What pasty, weak little BU2 Waldron didn’t know is that when I allegedly sped past the stop sign I was still in view of the security camera at work that monitors and record access into and out of our compound. I thus had video evidence that he was telling lies.

The ticket BU2 Waldron issued summoned me to Traffic Court at 0830 Local on Thursday, 17 November 2005. I was the first to arrive, a full half hour early. Happy to be there, and proud to serve, the police seemed to find my calm, bemused manner disquieting. I showed up in my work clothes, and had spent the week growing my beard out. Many people on base fear the beard – I don’t know why.

I watched as other defendants arrived, each one surely and disgruntled. Being a former Non-Commissioned Officer, I habitually found myself in a mentoring role. I knew from experience that their attitudes wouldn’t help their cause. Mostly, I was just someone to talk to who wouldn’t judge them or discredit them – except for the Driving Under the Influence guy. No one likes a DUI idiot.

I was reminded of the Rick Gaber quote:

“Overload the police with victimless crimes and other minutiae and eventually only creeps and bullies remain cops”.
An elderly court clerk entered our happy little enclave, and asked us to enter yet another room. As we filed out, she noticed that I was not military, nor in uniform, and was sporting a beard. I can grow fur like an amphetamine-crazed werewolf.

“Who are you?” she asked in a classic New England accent, taken aback at my gruff appearance.

“Mister Dozer”, I answered with a cheerful wink. She stared at me blankly for a moment before scurrying off.

As we settled into our new room to wait, the clerk bustled in again. “Mister Dozer”, she said, “this is your lucky day – come with me please”.

I followed her to a clearly disorganized and busy clerical office. “Your free to go”, she said. Obviously, she had not wanted to say that in front of the group.

“No, thank you” I smiled. “I’d like to stay, please.”

“But your not on the docket”, she stammered.

“Place me on the docket, please”, I requested.

“But you don’t need to see the judge”, she explained patently, as if I didn’t understand.

“I’d like a word with the judge, actually.”

“We can’t find your ticket”, she admitted, though I could see I was wearing her down. Sometimes I am relentless.

“I’ve a copy right here”, I said as I presented her my copy from the folder I carried.

As she finally added my name to the docket, I leaned in close to politely add, “I can see you are very busy, thank you for your time”.

Police officers and clerks watched me with wary curiosity from the imagined safety of their desks as I marched back to the waiting pen.

The judge wanted to see me next, apparently. Somehow their copy of my ticket had been found.

“Thank you for seeing me, sir”, I addressed him. “I can see you’re busy, thank you for your time”, adding, “I wrote you a statement”. I produced my statement from my folder, and waited for him to read this:
At approximately 0810 Local on Sunday, 06 November 2005, I waited at the Jay Beasley and Pegasus intersection, yielding the right of way to Savannah Metallic Toyota RAV4 SUV passing from my left to my right. The SUV was in turn slowing to a stop at the Pegasus and Burbank intersection, some 20 feet to the right of my position. I proceeded after the SUV passed. The SUV’s driver and I were motoring slowly as the pavement was slick from heavy rains.

BU2 Waldron confronted me at the intersection of Fitch and Sewall at approximately 0814 Local. BU2 Waldron stated that I had rolled past the stop sign posted at the Jay Beasley and Pegasus intersection. BU2 Waldron admitted to witnessing me yield the right of way to the SUV that had passed slowly in front of me, and was unable to articulate coherently the juxtaposition of his statements. BU2 Waldron further stated that although he was uncertain as to what had transpired, he had been directed by his Field Training Officer (not present) to confront me for rolling past a stop sign. BU2 Waldron added that he was under instruction at that time.

When I stated it is physically impossible to wait at a stop sign while yielding the right of way to another vehicle while simultaneously rolling past said stop sign, BU2 Waldron stated I was being argumentative.

BU2 Waldron returned to his vehicle, and then escalated his charge against me to “sped” past a stop sign. I drive a 2000 Ford F-150 XL 4×4 with a 4.2L V-6 engine mated to a four-speed automatic transmission, and equipped with Goodyear Wrangler RT/S All Season radial tires. This is not a high performance vehicle shod with high performance tires. It is a heavy vehicle with a high center of gravity. There are specific manufacturer’s warnings posted on my visor warning against reckless maneuvers (1).

BU2 Waldron’s official statement would have one believe that I was able to speed past a stop sign while turning near ninety degrees to the right and stopping for the vehicle in front of me, all within the space of some ten feet, on rain slicked pavement, no less.

A security system monitors and records a dozen interior and exterior views of our work compound. I am confident that a review of the security tape from 06 November will confirm that I stopped at the stop sign.

(1). “This…4×4 truck has a special design and equipment features for off-road use. As a result, it handles differently from an ordinary passenger car in driving conditions which may occur on streets and highways…DRIVE WITH CARE…Avoid unnecessary sharp turns or other abrupt maneuvers that could cause loss of control, possibly leading to rollover or other accidents that could result in serious injury.”
“I know that intersection”, the judge smiled. “You’re right, there isn’t much room”. He quickly referenced a publication while I surreptitiously read BU2 Waldron’s notes on the back of their copy of my ticket. BU2 Waldron called me “calm but argumentative.” His observation position was 200 yards from the intersection. The SUV had passed between us, perhaps obscuring his view.

“How long have you worked here?” the judge asked.

“Going on six years, sir.”

“Is your first ticket?”

“Aye, sir.”

“I’m disposing this ticket.” That is, the charges against me were dismissed. He wasn’t interested in reviewing the tape. He asked me, though, why I had refused to sign the ticket. We both knew that doing so supported BU2 Waldron’s charge that I was argumentative.

“That, sir, is a false official statement”, I annunciated as the judge cringed, “I wanted no part of that.”

I took my leave then. The policemen were very nice in showing me the quickest exit from their building.

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11 Responses to “Traffic Court”

  1. Derko5 Says:

    Good on ya.


  2. ltc_insane Says:

    nicely done


  3. Ian M Says:

    VERY well-handled every step of the way. Kudos to you.


  4. wkwillis Says:

    Making you show up is how they punish you for not cringing.
    The money from the ticket goes to the relevant authorities and doesn’t really figure in their calculations.


  5. Psychlycan Says:

    I think the beard thing is due to the collective view that it doesn’t belong and it should be treated with fear/suspicion. That’s why I prefer to have mine.


  6. Adam Says:

    The Beard denotes power beyond the comprehension of most military personnel –> For one who lacks the Beard has obviously succumbed to the overbearing and all-powerful deity known in the vernacular as “AR 670-1.”

    One who wears the Beard bears proof of his success against AR, and is to be feared because of his unnatural capability.

    And let us say… amen.


  7. Cantih Says:

    I swear I’ve read this story before.
    Did you post this story in a FARK thread once, Dozer?


  8. Susan Says:

    People forget that there are security cameras everywhere nowadays.


  9. Enigmatick Says:

    My mother had a similar incident, although it was completely civilian.

    The judge took one look at the issuing officer’s statement that in December, on an icy road, my mother took a right hand turn at a busy intersection going 75 km/h in a 1977 Cadillac, and threw the case out. He actually apologized to my mother for wasting her time.


  10. Jon Says:

    I had an incident on McChord AFB about fifteen years (wow… has it really been fifteen years?) ago. I was pulled over for speeding (I was…fully admit it) by security police on the base. Since it was on base, there was no monetary value to the ticket, just the threat that if I got more than some number of tickets in a year, my base driving privileges would be revoked. The officer dutifully wrote me the ticket, then noticed that I was stationed in Puget Sound Naval Shipyard and that I was Navy. He asked me at this time how often I came on base, to which I responded “maybe six times in a year”. It was at this time that he realized that it was pretty much pointless for him to even be writing this ticket, but he was already done with it, so he handed it to me and told me to drive slower from now on, then walked back to his car shaking his head.

    Come to think of it, I think the same sort of thing happened to me at Dobbins AFV about six years later, only with a stop sign.

    I have never had to pay a fine for any ticket received on a military base, nor go before a judge. Is this something new on bases?


  11. Kristopher Says:


    The police win 97% of all traffic tickets … but 95% of all folks that get them just pay them.

    This means, that out of the remaining 5% that fight them, 3/5th win.

    Pretty good odds.

    Next time, get a subpoena for the security camera video, and have it in court to enter into evidence. The judge let you slide there.


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