It turns out that there are clerics in Iran who feel that earthquakes are caused by women who dress immodestly.
I’m trying to come up with a punch line, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything as funny as that statement all by itself.
Granted the idea is not entirely new. I recently discovered that the ancient Greeks used to try to ward of storms by having women expose their vaginas*. And if people still did this today I would totally be a meteorologist**.
I’m not exactly sure why the Greeks thought this would work. Perhaps storms are gay, and thus repelled of the female crotch. Of course, storms were frequently under the control of Poseiden, who was rather distinctly not fearful of that particular region. I mean, he practically has “pussy” in his name. Maybe he was supposed to get so excited that the weather front would blow itself out early***. Or perhaps the idea is that by exposing themselves the women would calm him down enough to get the storm canceled. I know I have trouble staying angry when I am viewing the old “weather control station” myself.
But going back to the original subject some guy in the Middle East thinks that earthquakes are caused by women who dress like harlots, and not because his country was built on a fault line.
Jen McCreight, the author of Blag Hag has suggested a brilliant experiment called Boobquake****. She proposes that all women wear their most revealing clothing on April 26th, to see if they can cause an earthquake in Iran. I can only encourage participation in what will probably be known as “The most awesome scientific research of 2010”.
Plus if Tehran does get leveled by an earthquake it will be freaking hilarious.
*I also learned that in Guam it is forbidden for a female virgin to marry. And there are men who have the job of traveling around and prepping women for marriage. On a totally unrelated note, I am moving to Guam to pursue a career as a wedding planner.
**Side note: How do you think it would have gone down during Katrina if people in New Orleans had heard of this idea? I tell you one thing, the news coverage would have been a lot more comprehensive.
**** Also, this sounds like the best video game mod, ever.