Anybody Buying This?

December 10th, 2009 by skippy

So there is this man named Ted Petruna, with an interesting story.

On Nov 17th, Airtran Flight 297 was delayed. He claims that this delay was because about a dozen Muslim terrorists, in full middle eastern garb were conducting a “dry run” of a hijacking plan.

The incident started when one of them got into a confrontation with the crew while watching porn on a cell phone, which he had recorded the night before. Ted knew that terrorists do that before initiating a jihad because he studied. As the cowardly terrorists shouted Arabic slurs and called the flight crew infidel dogs, Ted realized that something needed to be done. He and another brave passenger stepped up to thwart this plan, by physically restraining some of the terrorists. The others were evidently too intimidated to gang up on the two men.

Unfortunately, after going back to the gate, Security boarded the plane, interviewed the suspects, and determined that they had not done anything wrong. The “terrorists” were then allowed to re-board. Ted, fearing for his safety then attempted to leave the plane, but a flight attendant wouldn’t let him. So he threatened the flight attendant and was allowed to leave. The flight was canceled shortly after that, due to the flight crew refusing to fly and passengers fleeing the scene.

Ted is clearly a big damn hero.

There are of course, a few flaws with his story. Namely no one else saw the porn or the middle eastern garb. The man who was arguing with the flight crew was speaking Spanish, according to the woman seated behind him. No one has identified the second hero. Security never boarded the plane. The flight wasn’t canceled. The other passengers haven’t come public to support his story. Ted’s only supporting witness arrived after the incident had ended. Oh, and according to the airline, Ted was never on Flight 297 in the first place.

Also he has since admitted that he made up the porn and funny outfits part. But he stands by the rest of the story, and is evidently considering a lawsuit against the airline for engaging in this horrible cover up of his brave heroics.

Full story here.

People that are taking Ted seriously are here.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 10th, 2009 at 7:37 pm and is filed under Fun with internets, News. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Alex Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 11:19 pm

This man should be punched in the face by a gauntleted fist.

Captcha: ber kind. I will most certainly not ber kind to this guy.

LoC Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Idiots with delusions of grandeur are, unfortunately, a staple of human society. Hopefully he and his supporters will be mocked without mercy.

Or even better, they can become zombies and we can have some truly satisfying targets to perforate.

Willy Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 11:21 pm

Ugh. Someone should be shot.

What makes the people who believe him think that Obama is middle eastern or muslim?

I wish being stupid was a crime….

Right. Muslims look at porn right before a Jihad.

Because, you know, on ancient battlefields they have prostitutes running around? Or is this just a new thing? As new as the muslim religion?

Oh, it gets better, the cops and such were under orders from the muslims at the white house…

COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUPID.

If there WERE muslims in the white house, why wouldn’t they just use missles or nukes or simply have 2 muslims dudes set to be the fliers of suicide planes, maybe without passengers or something? If the muslims at the white house controlled the cops, why not security guards? Why not let them on the plane with guns?

If the cops were under command from the white house muslims, why did they even board the plane?

(This is after reading the first comment from the people who take Ted seriously.)

Problems like this exist in most conspiracy theories. If they had the resources the conspiracy theorists think they have, we’d be dead now.

My fave one is about a secret society ruling the world. Assuming such a society existed, it would be an assassination playground, where everybody would be too busy with politics and assassinating each other to get anything done.

Willy Says:
December 10th, 2009 at 11:26 pm

Hmm….the rest of the comments are much more fun.

OH OH OH! It gets better! The big texan who had his back posted on that site you showed us!

Or maybe he’s being sarcastic, haven’t read it all…

I was afraid he was being serious.

OH! It gets better for these white wing nuts! The terrorists are gay!

M578Jockey Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 6:19 am

There are large numbers of my fellow Americans who scare me much more than any muslims, terroist or otherwise. They don’t like Obama because he is a Kenyean Muslim, They also don’t like him because his Christian pastor is too radically African American or something. If you put most of these idiots on a plane with real terrorists they’d be too busy soiling themselves to do anything about the terrorists.

Captcha: im unnerves – Yes im unnerves me greatly since he might actually be on my flight someday.

Tzanti Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 6:21 am

There’s one or two of these a year. The gutter press invariably like the ‘hero’ then get really quiet when someone calls bullshit on it.

Every time some jumped little hitler gets their face on the news from one of these exercises, it promotes fear in the public at large. That is what the terrorists want. That is the point of a terror campaign, that after a while it will snowball by itself.

Teddy-boy, Al Queda love you now. But we just think you’re a twat.

Islamic porn, huh? The mind boggles.

captcha: command don’t – I agree with captcha on this point.

Freiheit reply on December 11th, 2009 7:17 am:

Rules 34 and 35 demand “research” into this ‘Islamic porn’.

I’m getting really tired of having to listen to these whack-jobs when I go to the range.

AFP reply on December 11th, 2009 8:31 am:

Not quite what you’re talking about, but you reminded me of this:

http://www.pvtmurphy.com/Prints/Halo.htm

laughing-in-class reply on December 11th, 2009 8:29 pm:

Maybe islamic porn is like, chicks showing their feet or ankles? That’s damn near naked for them!

kat reply on December 12th, 2009 2:38 pm:

You never know they might be showing their ::gasp:: hair! Or their faces. Just wait until it gets really kinky and you can see a girls shoulder.. oooooo
Captcha: hitting tever, Why, tever never did anything wrong…

Willy Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am

You know, if there’s one thing people can probably agree about….This is proof that guns should remain legal in the U.S. Someone needs to get shot….

Captcha: penjor boneless

o.O

Speed Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 9:14 am

This is just another example that is summed up in the line, “Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.”

Billy Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 9:31 am

Ted needs to be smacked upside the head, with a crowbar, covered with steel spikes, tipped with poison, with electrical currents running through it, with serreted edges, and set on fire, and covered with salt.

paula reply on December 11th, 2009 4:29 pm:

aw c’mon, tell us what you REALLY think!

ps – I agree with you, except you apparently forgot the honey and fire-ants…. you WERE gonna have honey and fire-ants in there somewhere, weren’t you?!?

Billy reply on December 12th, 2009 5:30 pm:

Not sure, I never think of the natural solutions, though, those ants in the amazon I think sound nice, they can strip a man to his bones in just a few minutes. Or, we could use zombie ants, that should be interesting…

paula reply on December 12th, 2009 7:20 pm:

how about a combo deal: zombie fire-ants!

paula reply on December 12th, 2009 7:28 pm:

And I’d add a few piranha, except for the poison-tipped steel spikes: piranha are just too cute to want to risk poisoning them for an idiot like ol’ Ted…..
but if you were willing to forgo the poison (what the heck, keep the steel spikes!), maybe you could work the piranha in somewhere.

What can I say? I like the tried & true solutions that are both fun and ecologically sound!

Minty reply on December 15th, 2009 10:45 am:

But it’s more fun if you use the ants that take longer!

Auryn Grigori reply on December 13th, 2009 12:17 pm:

Come on, that is just cruel…to the ants and pirana.

Anonymous reply on December 13th, 2009 2:05 pm:

Is Gordon Freeman on the other side of the crowbar?

CAPTCHA: “neurotic Presi-” Parkinson’s?

Billy reply on December 13th, 2009 2:23 pm:

Well, depending on what kind of person you are, you could probably add it onto the boot of Chuck Norris.

Willy Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 9:34 am

That’s overdoing it a bit. I prefer decapitation; simple, guaranteed to be effective.

Btw, did you know the porn was made by having these dirty Muslims taking advantage of good Christian daughters?

Btw speed, I love that line =D

Billy reply on December 11th, 2009 4:12 pm:

I was raised that there’s no kill like overkill. Besides, I really wanted to make sure the point got smashed into his head.

Sequoia reply on December 12th, 2009 1:58 pm:

Exactly. It’s not worth doing unless you overdo it.

GnrWalker Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 10:20 am

This Ted fellow sounds like a racism attention whore; but his comments strike me as symtomatic of a deep seated racism against muslims in western nations, esp the USA. Let me be clear, I am not muslim so there is no bias in my comments. On the contrary I am a soldier, but also a student of sociology and criminal justice(wierd I know).
First off I’d be interested in mr.petruna’s “research” suggesting would be terrorists watch porn, thats a new one for me. All my training indicates (actual)terrorists go out of their way to prep themselves to meet allah (shave, bath, avoid sin). This smacks of bullshit in my opinion.
On the other side of things I wonder why certain things mentioned on the linked to site of supporters are even relevent. i.e. obama’s religion, muslims in the white house. Who cares? 99% of muslims are nice people, its the extremists who give them a bad name. Extremists christians aren’t much better.
Simply put not all muslims are terrorists, and while Ted is a damn fool, and a jackass to boot, I hold that the specific details of his claims are a symptom of systemic racial strife, further evidenced by the supporters site.

Just my observations, and I apologize for getting so wordy.

Willy reply on December 11th, 2009 12:22 pm:

Um…I don’t mind you getting wordy, but what does symtomatic mean? And after the first comment, most of the ones I read on the pro-Ted site seem to be mocking him. (Well, with the occasionaly pro-Ted-er, but still) Stole a lot of the things I thought were funny posted them here >.>

And um, I didn’t really see many grammatical or spelling errors in your post.

Minty reply on December 15th, 2009 10:52 am:

“Symptomatic” more or less refers to something that suggests there’s a bigger problem causing it. Slightly different than “a symptom of. . .”

Ex.: “Your nausea is symptomatic of the flu or indigestion. If it doesn’t get better by tomorrow, go to the doctor and get tested.”

“His nausea was a symptom of the 24-hour bug he picked up.”

And that’s what you get when you ask a question in my industry. I’ll shut up now.

GnrWalker Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 10:22 am

I also apologize for my grammer and spelling…holy crap.
I blame the last 4 university exams for fucking my mind

David Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 10:58 am

GnrWalker just coined a new /. abbreviation:
IANAM = I am not a muslim

Ted’s story has so many holes in it that it is ridiculous. He missed that damned flight! According to the airline, he didn’t even make his seat for boarding. Probably had a nonrefundable ticket. So instead of sucking up his losses to his own stupidity, his “Dumb and Dumber” side kicked in and he invented this ridulous story whole-cloth.

If anyone has flown on a commercial flight in the last, say, FIVE years, you’ll realise that the nimrods at the airport do actually run this barcode scanner over your ticket as you’re getting ready to walk down the jetway to board the plane. Even if you’re boarding some little ATA puddle-jumper they still check, double check, recheck, and check again to make sure that the right people with the right tickets are actually boarding.

Any idiot with a photocopier could duplicate an e-ticket and waltz through security posing as a “ticketed passenger”. But the airlines scan each ticket, so if two “Ted Petruna” guys with photocopied e-tickets show up, they’ll catch on pretty quick. Or if you miss your flight, they know who to page on the overhead squawker.

The man is a whining lying attention-whore moron.

The truth is that he was flying from Ohio to Houston by way of Atlanta. He missed his original flight out of Ohio, was therefore LATE arriving in Atlanta, the flight he claims this incident occured on had already left the gate (for the first time) before his plane touched down, he probably sprinted to “make the connection” but it was too late. Then the flight returned to the gate, inexplicably, but he was refused permission to board it even though it was right there because they had already closed boarding and the plane had technically “already left”. So then instead of just getting another connection, which ATA is generally really good about, he pitching a hissy fit.

kat Says:
December 11th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

ech, asshat. Unfortunately there is no pill for stupid.
Since this story is about an airline (kindof) I wonder if anyone knows Delta’s current baggage policy. I am flying to meet my husband in NH on his leave from Afghanistan. I have had someone tell me that because he is on orders I shouldn’t have to pay the check back fee, but I can’t find it on the website. I am wondering if anyone here has any experiance in the matter or knows anything about it.
Thanks!

kat reply on December 11th, 2009 3:10 pm:

** check bag fee

paula reply on December 11th, 2009 4:34 pm:

Don’t know about the check bag fee, but: have a great trip, and I it’s safe to assume all us Skippyites wish him a wonderful leave and a safe return home.

David reply on December 11th, 2009 8:02 pm:

I believe that the servicemember shows his travel orders, and that waives the bag check fee. But I don’t know if that policy, if it even exists, would apply to you in this case.

Shadowydreamer reply on December 12th, 2009 3:42 am:

Delta are remarkably easy going and helpful.. I’d suggest calling their 1-800 and just asking.

And give hubby a hug, kiss and thank you from all of us!

Raven Prometheus reply on December 12th, 2009 2:56 pm:

In my experience, only the service member with orders can have the fee waived. And they don’t even do that all the time. It’s touch and go, and up to the agent when you check in. I’ve seen a lot of times that they charge it anyways, not wanting to do the extra minute’s of work to waive it. Like Shadowydreamer said, though, it doesn’t hurt to call.

StoneWolf reply on December 14th, 2009 12:16 pm:

There are many types of anti-stupid pill. My prefered one is 150grains, sort of lozenge shaped, and its only side effect is high-velocity lead poisoning.

TheShadowCat Says:
December 12th, 2009 at 8:27 am

Sounds like the guy could us a nice vacation in a room with soft padded walls.

Gunrunner Says:
December 12th, 2009 at 11:29 am

Methinks ol’ Ted got a bad case of boner head.

Captcha = SPORTING plucks – Hmmmm, must be a new sport version of Guitar Hero.