Archive for October 15th, 2009

No really.

Here’s the link.

Follow

Now, where I work, Target, I tend to get bored really easily. But because somebody is always watching, I can’t legitimately mess around. To cope with my boredom while I work, putting stock on the shelves, my imagination takes over. Eventually, I came up with an almost complete analysis of the store on the best courses of action, based on where you are, in the event of a zombie takeover. I may take the time to properly train workers on the determination of a person’s death status on black/green/randomly colored Friday, in which, that is the worst-case scenario of when the zombies attack. Now, on the analysis.

If you are in the B section, (party, vacuums, ironing boards, cooking utensils) your best shot is if you are in party, rush to get a display vacuum that is neither too heavy, nor too flimsy. Otherwise, get an ironing board. If you are in the cooking utensil area, grab a frying pan, but use it in such a way to keep the blood from spraying in your face to prevent contamination. Do not use knives, as they put you into close range and have the least damage potential.

(more…)

Follow