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Chuck Norris Hates America

September 24th, 2009 by skippy

I was originally working on a post about my wife’s pregnancy, which was really funny. I’ll finish it next week.

I’ve had a long day of running errands for my wife, and finishing up the last assignments for my first semester of online school. And *that* has been a whole great big wad of fun, that I will also need to write about soon. There are many advantages to online schools. But sometimes they can be a pain in the ass.

But then I caught this article, written by Chuck Norris. Yes Chuck Norris the famous actor. Not the actually heroic Chuck Norris of the Royal Navy.

For those that don’t want to read what he wrote, he writes a bunch of the standard things that members of the Tea Party movement say.  Most of it isn’t particularly groundbreaking, and mainly has to do with using older style flags as a symbol of resistance and protest.  All of which is fine and dandy, and I would have never paid it any attention if it wasn’t for one thing.

Near the end, he actually suggests that his readers deliberately stain the flag with tea.

I will repeat that, in case you had trouble soaking that in.

Chuck Norris advocated the desecration of the American flag.  In writing.  Which he then made public.  Under the pretense that it is somehow patriotic.

Now from a Constitutional standpoint, I think this is covered under free speech.  I think Chuck Norris has the right to desecrate an  American flag as a form of protest.  I believe that Chuck Norris should have that right.  To try and do otherwise would be an invitation to tyranny.

However I have the right to express my beliefs as well.  And I think this makes Chuck look like an asshole.  Desecrating the flag is disrespectful.  To our country, and to all of the men and women who died defending it.

I would say that it makes me question what kind of man he is, but this isn’t really open to question anymore is it?  He answered that question.

It’s a low thing to do when it’s some hippie pitching a temper tantrum over free-trade, or pollution or war, or the fact that the day ends in a “y”, or anything else that people on the left think is a good reason to desecrate a flag.

The fact that he’s on the other side of the political aisle doesn’t magically make it OK.

Being patriotic is a way that you behave, not a thing you say about yourself.

I now go back to my normal nonsense writing, until such a time as I die from a mysterious and unsolvable round-house kick related accident.

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20 Responses to “Chuck Norris Hates America”

  1. Arcanum Says:

    Yet another reason I increasingly think of the GOP as the party of lunatics and whack-jobs.

    Now before people go flying off the handle at that, let me explain some things. First, I’m not a Democrat. I’m not a Republican. I’m not a Libertarian or a Green either. I lean a bit left on the liberal/conservative scale, and I’m square in the middle of the libertarian/authoritarian scale. Really, I’m a pragmatic idealist. I’m interested in “does it work” and “does it improve things”, not “does it fit into some predetermined political ideology”.

    I’m also not saying all Republicans are lunatics and whack-jobs. I’m saying the lunatics and whack-jobs are effectively controlling the party, regardless of what the ratio of crazy/sane is. With the power that the likes of the Limbaugh dittoheads exert, and the fact that Republican pundits and even Congresscritters are actively encouraging absurd paranoia and outright irrational falsehoods that have likely resulted in at least one murder, it’s difficult to conclude the Republican party is a party of sanity and rationality.

    Rational conservatives, the GOP is no longer your party. This is a Bad Thing. We need at least two strong, approximately sane political parties. Currently, I don’t think the Republican Party is going to be able to recover as such because they’ve turned the “whack-job” demographic into their base. Hopefully the Democrats will fragment to fill the void; the party is pretty fractious as it is. I consider the Libertarians and Greens too far from the norm to be credible candidates.

    This will no doubt raise some hackles, but what am I supposed to think when prominent pundits and at least one Congressman are giving credence to a conspiracy theory that someone has systematically falsified birth records and newspaper birth announcements to allow an ineligible man to become President? Or when they’re stoking fears that the census is going to be used to round up people (who and why exactly seems unclear)? Or that there’s some panel that grandma is going to have to go before and they’re going to say “Sorry granny, time to drop dead.”?

    It’s not the fringe saying these things, so really, what should I think if not “the GOP is going or has gone off the deep end”?

    (It’s late and I’m up due to insomnia. The sentiment in the above is accurate, but I blame any irregularities on the insomnia. And the Illuminatti. But mostly the insomnia. fnord)


    StoneWolf reply on September 25th, 2009 4:58 am:

    It seems like both the big two, Dems and Reps, are run by whacknuts. Most of the people I know from each side are decent folk, but the Brass are so entrenched in their dogma its like WWI. There dug in and unwilling to move. And both sides acuse the other of various things that they do themselves. Lying, fearmongering, ect. Both parties do it. Being somewhat in the middle and not really thrilled with either party, its weird watching my Democrat friends and my Republican friends argue. They use the same tactics and then whine when the other side does it to them. Maybe we just need to disassemble all parties and start over, or, and here’s an idea Norris should like if he’s honest, since it George Washington’s idea, do away with partisan politics all together.


  2. Tzanti Says:

    And I thought our ‘talking heads’ had trouble making sense at the moment…

    But thanks for plugging the RN. The Air-Sea Rescue flights out of bases like Culdrose are kind of forgotten heroes these days.


  3. paula Says:

    It seems to me that every time Chuck Norris has opened his mouth (interviews, online, just about anywhere), he’s inserted his foot up to his hipbone. I enjoyed most of his movies and TV show, I understand his commercial endorsements (everybody needs cash!), but that does NOT qualify him to spew his political views/venom where the rest of up have to hear it. The man is, in my personal opinion, a whacko.

    (And I know a whacko when I see one: I’m in a state where one of the current candidates for governor 1.is a lifelong supporter of Pat Roberson (even went to his university!); 2.has repeatedly stated that working women — and even more, working MOTHERS — are ‘destroying the moral fabric of America’; 3.wants to forbid and and all abortions, including cases of rape, incest, or endangering the mother’s health; 4.opposes any form of birth control whatsoever for married people, including the pill, condoms, vasectomies or anything else.


  4. StoneWolf Says:

    Great. Now the trailer parks will hate America too because Chuck Norris says so.

    On a more serious note, first, though many of America’s founders were religious, many were not or not very either. That whole “Under God” part of the pledge was added during the Cold War as a reaction to Communist Atheism. Hows that for America’s Religious History Mr. Norris?

    Second, I’m with Skippy on the flag thing. Under the First Amendment it is your absolute right to desicrate the Stars and Stripes, the symbol of our Nation and our People. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I think advocating flag desicration, whether you’re a Hippie or GOP, makes you a dissrespectful asshole. I was never a Norris fan, but before now I had no problem with him either.

    If he really wanted unification he’d be treating others and his Nation with respect, not this childish bullshit. Its one thing to fly a historic flag, its another to try and force a new meaning on it for your own stupid ideas. Hell, I fly an old Vermont flag, the green and blue one, because I love my State and I love history, but I don’t use it fly it for some nutball politcal statment, and I’ve got the old Stars and Stripes right there too.

    You know, when I used to hear about dumb stuff like this I would think, “Knock it off and act like an Adult and an American.” Now I’m finally realizing many people have no idea how those two kinds of people act. Sadder still, many of them are my age and the next crop doesn’t look any better.


  5. M578Jockey Says:

    I don’t really have a problem with the whole flag thing. I have always found the flag worshipping of my fellow Americans kind of amusing. Every country in the world respects their flag but only the Americans have turned it into a fetish object. When I joined the Army I swore to protect and defend the Constitution against all enemies, not the flag. That being said I think that most people who deface the flag, including Chuck Norris, are doing it for pretty childish if not stupid reasons.

    As for Mr Norris, he’s just the same as Mike Farrell, Martin Sheen, or Susan Sarandon, except instead of being a left wing Hollywood nutcase, he’s a right wing Hollywood nutcase. None of them know anymorethan the rest of us, heck most of them, after living their lives of make believe and public adoration, know a lot less than the rest of us.

    “Don’t follow the leaders, follow the Parking Meters”
    John Lennon

    Captcha: Mouthe Walker-France. Walker, Texas Ranger has a big mouth and is acting like he’s from France?


    Tzanti reply on September 25th, 2009 9:07 am:

    I remember walking down Oxford Street in London in the summer of 04. A bunch of American students were standing by the window of a tourist-tat shop that sold, among other crap, Union Jack underwear. To hear their conversation you’d think they’d just come across some scene of atrocity.

    They described a Union Jack thong using words like Sacrilegious and Desecration. How could the British stand for such a thing?, they asked. Perhaps I should have tried to explain what the flag means to us, but I didn’t feel qualified. A thong is a silly little thing to get worked-up over. Besides, I wouldn’t even want to guess how many pairs of Union Jack boxers have been sent to Basra and Helmand in recent years.

    I suggest you send Chuck a box of Daz and forget about it.


    kat reply on September 25th, 2009 12:58 pm:

    Funny thing. I used to have a Union Jack thong that I picked up at a store. I wore it on the 4th of July, just to be contrary.


  6. lukazaz Says:

    I really dont understand the problem…. we really dont have that kind of stuff (flag desecreating) here in Mexico, most people would gang up on the asshole who would do it be it constitutional or not… but o well… will wait for next weeks chapter of Skippy :P


  7. Kitty Says:

    Erm, why do you need a flag to be patriotic? Or am I being too Damn British here? its a flag, a piece of cloth guys. The flag ain’t the issue here, its the stance the guy has taken.

    Give him a kicking for being a pillock. Then all burn a flag of your choice. Personally I’m all for burning the Welsh flag. :D


    StoneWolf reply on September 25th, 2009 11:51 am:

    You don’t need a flag to be patriotic, not at all. But it is a symbol to us and to deface a symbol is generaly a sign of disrespect to what that symbol represents. If turning a flag into clothing or writing on it isn’t offensive to you Brits, whatever. Its still generally offensive to us Yanks. I imagine if somebody said something nasty about the queen you might get worked up, or is that just a sterotype?

    And yes, fuck the Welsh ;)


  8. Jim C Says:

    We’ve reach the point in America where we were 233 years ago. Ever increasing taxes, little if anything to show for it, and a vocal minority who are completely fed up, another even more vocal minority who think more of the same is the answer, and a equal sized if not larger, but quieter, group who are not happy with either extreme.

    If there were anywhere left to go I’d emigrate. I keep hoping that TX or AK will leave the Union. I doubt that will happen and fear things will turn even more ugly then they already are.


    Rhett reply on September 25th, 2009 11:44 am:

    You’re not the only one hoping for Alaska or Texas to Secede. There are quite a few of us out there. :)

    The fact is that at this point, America today isn’t the America of our forefathers.

    I’m not a Republican, they’re a bunch of spineless buggers. I’m not a liberal either, I believe in America and the Constitution, so communism and I don’t get along.

    I, and many others I’ve met consider ourselves “Constitutionalists”

    A series of powerful state governments, allied together under a small federal government. A government that SERVES the people, and listens to the people, not one that demands the people follow its whims. A place where a man is allowed to keep the wages he earned, not give off more than half of them to the government “for their own good”.

    But at this point, the America that was and was dreamed of, and was established in the Constitution is gone and will not return.

    So leaving and forming a new country is our best bet.


    StoneWolf reply on September 25th, 2009 11:53 am:

    So what nation do you propose we concure to rebuild our Land of the Free? I hear Mars might be open in a few decades.


    Jim C reply on September 25th, 2009 1:07 pm:

    Unfortunately long range emigration, I think Mars qualifies as long range, will be a young mans (and ladies) game and I’m getting too old for such adventures. I also think the first Mars colony will probably be Chinese, not American. We lack the drive, determination, and just plain lack the guts to do such things today.

    You are right, the America of old is gone, probably never to return. Maybe it never was, but was only a dream. A dream we fought for, watch people die for, and in the end lost not because of our enemies, but because of ourselves. We could not keep it, and since we did not keep it, I don’t think we deserve it.

  9. Merchant Says:

    Not that I’m taking sides, and I’m not going to argue with anyone, but on the tea-staining part: I do believe you can purchase flags made with tea-stained cotton that has that vintage look. A quick “Google” search could tell you that. Then again, that might be too much like smart…


    skippy reply on September 25th, 2009 4:38 pm:

    So I was all set to lay into you about the difference between making a flag with tea stained cotton, and actually dipping a flag in tea, when I decided to re-read the article I referenced, and discovered that I was wrong. He was advocating purchasing a tea-stained flag, not staining a flag.

    There’s probably a lesson in not writing about volatile subjects when you’re in a bad mood in there somewhere.



  10. Willy Says:

    You know, I’m always awed by Americans believing that communism and socialism are the same thing, and that both of them are wrong on general principle. And taxes. Taxes to me are great providing they are put to a good use; the problem is that governments don’t put them to good use, and a corporation would be even worse. If you ask me, pure capitalism and pure communism have about the same amount of flaws.

    As for your idealized view of America…I can think of plenty of flaws in it. A purely capitalist government has a huge gap between rich and poor, as well as regular depression/recessions like the one we’re experiencing now. On the other hand, communist governments usually end up as totalitarian dictatorships….

    And as long as you stick to democracy your going to run into the problems your complaining about sooner or later. As Winston Churchill once said “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.”

    Every government has flaws. And extremes are, on general principle, a bad thing. No matter what the extreme is. (Usually.)

    P.S. I agree that desecrating flags is bad, even if I personally won’t get very angry.


    kat reply on September 25th, 2009 6:23 pm:

    You know, historically even the best run democracies only have a shelf life of a few hundred years, 500 is about the max before things degenerate into chaotic warfare, dictatorships/tyrannies, ect. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Some historical dictators did wonderful things for their respective countries/cities/kingdoms/empires. Look at Caesar, he was doing great until he got stabbed in the back. The first dozen or so Roman Caesars weren’t bad. It wasn’t until later that civil war and infighting among factions caused the empire to crumble into chaos. In fact, it was an Athenian Tyrant who basically invented democracy in the first place and put the system into place in Athens to begin with.
    Captcha: her unzipped – with my husband deployed, I think not!


    Leon reply on September 28th, 2009 1:23 pm:

    I think you’re a bit broad with labeling the early emperors as “weren’t bad”. While you did have about 137yrs of “good” emperors, 51yrs were strictly “meh” – definitely not “good” but not terrible enough to be lumped in with the 18yrs of truly atrocious emperors.


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