In our team meeting today I learned about a mad man in our company. His reign of terror lasted for several months, then mysteriously he stopped his crime spree for a couple months and now he is back with a vengeance.
Who is this criminal mastermind, of which I speak, and what has he done to strike fear in the hearts of his co-workers?
He is the Mad Crapper of Building 4.
That’s right, someone in building 4 has been going into the mens room and dropping a deuce in the middle of the floor. Not on the floor in a stall, but in the middle of the floor in front of the sinks.
There is a serial shitter amongst us, and management is hot (and steamy) on his trail trying to find this maniac.
I don’t know if it is the call center managers or corporate security that is investigating this heinous crime. Perhaps it is a special anti-poop task force, but they were close to finding him. They had narrowed down the list of suspects by comparing the days and times with the work schedules of all employees. They were closing in, when suddenly he cut the shit.
He laid low for two months, (two… I think it is symbolic), and now he is letting loose again.
One manager was overheard to say that, “when you have 4000 employees, you have to expect that one of them will shit on the floor.”
No, I am not making this up. Yes, I will update when there are more details.