(Submitted by SPC Cameron Kennedy)
I’m not sure if you are familiar with the Chuck Norris facts that are over exaggerated but they are rather hysterical. I have created a list of General Petraeus facts based on the true story of a LTC Petraeus being shot in the chest on a live fire exercise and then sent to the hospital. After being refused early release after only two days following the shooting, the then LTC Petraeus dropped down and knocked out 50 push-ups. He was released that day.
With that I humbly submit to you for possible publication: the General Petraeus facts.
1. M1 Abrams no longer fire depleted uranium rounds, they now have Gen Petraeus’ fist waiting down the barrel. It was deemed inhumane for use.
2. Osama bin Laden is not hiding in Pakistan, he’s hog tied in Gen Petraeus’ footlocker.
3. Iraq used to be a frozen tundra before Gen Petraeus got there.