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Boo-Hoo!

April 23rd, 2009 by skippy

Break out the teeny tiny violins.

Now that her over paid husband, who did not realize the huge financial mess he was creating, is living on my tax money, she has to hide that she is shopping at high end boutiques, otherwise people might say mean things about her.

I hope her and her husband both get horrific cancer.  I’m talking sci-fi channel movie cancer.  The kind of cancer that achieves sentience, and strikes out on a tri-state killing spree.  The kind of cancer that cannot be reasoned with and will hunt down and kill everything she holds dear.

Cancer that will eventually grow to enormous proportions, and start leveling a large US city, while photogenic hipsters escape on foot and film themselves with a camcorder.

Cancer so big that the Air Force will try to stop it with a tactical nuclear strike, AND IT WON’T WORK!

Cancer that can only be stopped by the combined forces of Ash Williams, Snake Plissken, and Chev Chelios.

Also it would be nice if maybe she had to work for a living.

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53 Responses to “Boo-Hoo!”

  1. Minty Says:

    She does work for her living. On her back.

    Reply

    Bane reply on April 23rd, 2009 9:16 pm:

    I’m sorry Skippy, but this made me laugh more than the actual post.

    Reply

    TheShadowCat reply on April 23rd, 2009 9:39 pm:

    She might be working on her hands and knees too. Woof

    Reply

    Former Spc. 19K reply on April 23rd, 2009 10:08 pm:

    oh, come now, you’d think she’s only that inventive?

    captcha: short movies

    well, I guess the captcha system has another suggestion, might relate to the first.

    Reply

  2. paula Says:

    Maybe, since I’ve got plenty of time on my hands right now (since I was laid off a couple months ago), maybe I’ll write her a nice sympathy note. No new spring fashions? No multi-Michelin-starred restuarants or society bashes?

    Yes indeedy, I sure do feel bad for her: and, inbetween making sure my mortgage doesn’t go south and another bowl of ramen, I’ll be writing that note to poor suffering her…..

    Reply

  3. Stickfodder Says:

    This was my first thought after reading that article:

    Bitch I hope you get maced! I hope that while walking out of some expensive store you piss off a cop having a really bad day and he whips out his mace and just spray’s you, and keeps spraying you until the bottle is empty. If you cover your eyes I hope he sprays you in your screaming mouth and in your nose. I hope he covers every inch of your face head and neck with mace so that your entire head is all red and puffy. And as this is happening I hope people are whipping out their phone cameras and start shooting video taking care to not get the cops face on camera. AND I hope people steal what ever you bought.

    Reply

  4. paula Says:

    Maybe, since I’ve got a lot of time on my hands these days (since I was laid off a couple months ago), I could write the lady a nice sympathy note. No five-star restuarants? No new spring fashions? No fancy society bashes? The poor dear.

    Yes indeedy, inbetween figuring out how to make sure my mortgage doesn’t go south and yet another bowl of ramen, I’ve got plenty of time to write her a nice thank-you-for-your-suffering note…..

    Reply

  5. Schwal Says:

    I’ll give you Bruce Campbell and Jason Statham, but Kurt Russel? ironically “Escape from New York” is the only one of these movies I’ve seen.

    Reply

    CCO reply on April 24th, 2009 7:04 am:

    Overboard with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn would be applicable.

    Reply

  6. StoneWolf Says:

    “Let them eat cake!” Yeah, that worked.

    How about this. We round up all these people, put them in the backcountry somewhere, round up all willing US Citizens and issue them: Rifle-1 each, Cartridges-5 each, put them in the same backcountry, and see what happens. Honestly, I’m only about a year out of college and I manage money better than these people.

    Alternativly, we could just give these people to Reavers.

    Reply

    Dave in NC reply on April 24th, 2009 7:59 am:

    I’d say and air it on Fox but since it’s entertaining, it would only get cancelled after the first 4 shows anyway.

    Reply

    Former Spc. 19K reply on April 25th, 2009 7:01 pm:

    hmm, naah, that only happens to good ideas from Joss Whedon. We might get half a season out of this.

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on April 25th, 2009 7:49 pm:

    Nah we would never even get it to syndication as a good portion of Fox’s execs would be participants.

    Speed reply on April 24th, 2009 8:53 am:

    Heh, reavers!

    “They’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into clothing. And if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.”

    Ya gotta love reavers.

    Reply

    Speed reply on April 24th, 2009 8:55 am:

    Heh, reavers.

    “They’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into clothing. And if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.”

    Ya gotta love reavers.

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on April 25th, 2009 3:46 am:

    Reavers? Ah yes reavers.

    Reply

    Minty reply on April 27th, 2009 9:18 am:

    Yeah, I’d like an explanation for that, myself. Especially the bit in Serenity where they manage to fly through Reaver space disguised as Reavers and not get attacked. I mean, they are cannibals, aren’t they?

    Reply

    tenhigh reply on April 26th, 2009 9:03 pm:

    WHAT? Only 5 rounds each!!? I am appalled. I would like at least 20 rounds so that I can “practice” on knees, elbows and kidneys before the coup de grace is given…

    Captcha: dud icecaps- hell, if I get dud icecaps, who gets the live ones?

    Reply

    StoneWolf reply on April 27th, 2009 4:03 am:

    True, but I figure there are more assholes than taxpayers, so everyone should get a chance to shoot. You can coordinate, share ammo, whatever, I don’t care. You know, get four buddies, one for each limb, etc.

    Reply

  7. Chris Says:

    I second this opinion. Look at/listen to her. “Oh boo hoo, my husband is stilling making more in a year than most Americans make in five, but it’s only a fraction of what he was making, so now we can still live better than 80% of other Americans, but not as well as we did. This makes me sad.” What a whiny b*tch. I like your cancer idea, skippy. Supported wholeheartedly over here.

    Reply

  8. tsukinofaerii Says:

    No no no, the cancer wouldn’t work. She’d just blame all the destruction on that and try to whip up more sympathy. Let’s just give her a *real* golden parachute and a once in a lifetime skydiving trip.

    Reply

  9. M578Jockey Says:

    Reminds me, on a smaller scale, of someone I knew about 10 years ago. Her husband was an engineer who got laid off and they had two pre-school children qat home. She was a trained and licensed mortician who hadn’t worked since her oldest was born. I asked her why she didn’t go back to work since she could probably start at $60K a year. Well she couldn’t do that, they needed at least $15K a month in order to survive. As a short order cook making $20K a year and paying child support, I wished her nice new Acura would break down in the worst area of NYC about 12:30 at night.

    Captcha: Shrewed 12.20. Sounds like my ex at 12:20am.

    Reply

  10. notsomuchactually Says:

    Not mega-cancer Skippy, that would get too many innocent people, you know, the ones who actually work for a living and have no decent health care. I’m sure she has great health care coverage and would be fine in the end. No, I wish her a plague of painful and disfiguring boils across her body. I hope her home falls down around her ears. I hope some department store clerk secretly tears a hole in all of her clothing purchases as he/she is taking off the security tag. Let her tailor fix that!

    Reply

  11. CCO Says:

    I have a brother-in-law who’s a banker. His bank tried to turn down TARP money; they were forced to take it.

    Reply

    Sequoia reply on April 24th, 2009 12:01 pm:

    Then it would be an extremely huge dick move to get pissed at them for excepting TARP money.

    Reply

  12. TheShadowCat Says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but I got the distinct impression that whomever wrote that was doing it tongue in cheek. But that’s just me.

    CAPTCHA – stale 1888 – Stale since 1888

    Reply

    Minty reply on April 24th, 2009 9:16 am:

    I got that impression, too, but it wasn’t nearly as clever as the author probably thought it was. Not enough gross exaggeration.

    Reply

    TheShadowCat reply on April 25th, 2009 9:23 am:

    Agreed. If they were trying to write a parody, they didn’t do it very well.

    CAPTCHA – rowena and – and what?

    Reply

  13. Billy Says:

    To quote a passage from the book “Wizard in Glass, Dark Tower V”

    Eddie starts rubbing his index finger and thumb together. “I do not recognize that motion, what does it mean?” demanded Blain the monorail. “That is the worlds smallest violin playing ‘my heart pumps purple piss for you'”

    Reply

  14. Shadowydreamer Says:

    Yeah I was thinking tongue in cheek too. The sad thing is though, there probably IS a wench out there who is all poor, poor, pitiful me about it.

    Reply

  15. Compu-scout Says:

    WTF??? Unless the author of that article was doing a piss poor job of writing sarcasm, She needs to be forced to live on a real persons income for a few years. Give her a dose of reality. Then Maybe she’s appreciate what all of us “little people” go through.

    Reply

  16. kat Says:

    She should come and spend a shift at my job, then we’ll see how sorry she is. Because every day we see all those people who got laid off and have no health coverage and need care. Every day we take care of them, and every day we lose thousands of dollars down the black hole of the homeless and uninsured. Yeah, it’s a whole new world when the hospital is laying off people (and the CEO of this non-profit hospital makes 1.4 Million per year… asshole)

    Captcha: shakup work – yea, we sure could use one, less money to the top, more money to the bottom.

    Reply

    M578Jockey reply on April 24th, 2009 8:38 am:

    And this weekend a large number of us will sit around and get all excited watching NFL teams throw hundreds of millions of dollars at college dropouts who may not last a year in the NFL….

    Reply

    Minty reply on April 24th, 2009 9:17 am:

    Not me. I’ve got an exciting weekend of staring at the wall and picking my nose ahead of me.

    Reply

    M578Jockey reply on April 24th, 2009 10:25 am:

    Just remember:
    You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose.

    Captcha noodles 8 1/2 ???

    Minty reply on April 24th, 2009 11:09 am:

    Isn’t there some bizarre sex fetish devoted to that? Not that I’d ever do something like that, I’m just saying.

    Lit reply on April 24th, 2009 3:34 pm:

    Well, if there’s such a thing as clown porn…

  17. David Says:

    I pick it at work, where I can get paid to pick it and sick leave if I pick it too far and get a gusher.

    Judge thebes – live at 2pm on CourtTV

    Reply

  18. Billy Says:

    What strikes me as ironic, is the fact that this lady, who apparently goes through great lengths to avoid press, ect., chose the INTERNET to search for sympathy, the internet. Anybody who has spent any amount of time on the internet knows that if you want sombody to care, the internet will drive you to suicide.

    captcha: morally 10 3/8, thats how much morality I have out of 100

    Reply

  19. TeratoMarty Says:

    This sort of shit makes me LONG for the coming zombie apocalypse. It’s bound to either A. give these people some perspective or B. thin them out of the herd entirely.

    (Same goes for my boss, who uses the word “horrible!!” at least five times a day to describe routine office SNAFUs. Lady, if it’s happening in an office and doesn’t involve me, going postal, and you, laminated thinly all over the walls, whatever-it-is is probably not “horrible.”)

    Reply

  20. Grayson Says:

    Attention all Skippyites: If you go to the above mentioned web article, take some time to look on the right, and click on “20 worst CEOs” link. This should tell you who you should be hunting for.
    If you ever catch up with any of these thieving weasels (the ones still living, anyway), please, DO NOT kill them. Dead weasels can’t tell you where they’ve hidden all the money they paid themselves. Feel free to introduce any of them to your good friend Mr. Rusty Cheesegrater. And if you do get them to ‘return’ any taxpayers’ funds, be nice.. SHARE.

    Seriously?
    I clicked on the links. I read the ’20 Worst CEOs’ article. And I have a ‘Mad-On’ that just won’t quit. These money grubbing vermin make the mafia look like schoolboys.
    Now, if I may be excused, I’m going to look for a steel belted tire to chew on.

    Reply

    Sequoia reply on April 24th, 2009 4:37 pm:

    They’ll absolutely “love” Mr. Rusty Cheesegrater. A few seconds with him, and they’ll just start talking like their in massive pain or something.

    Reply

  21. Jordan Says:

    Wow…………that is all I can say.

    I bet she has a years salary for me in say 15 pairs of shoes.

    Whiney ass bitch.

    If he starts delivering pizza’s beacuse he loses his job THEN I will say…..’that sucks’

    Reply

  22. Leon Says:

    See Big Trouble in Little China.

    “It’s all in the reflexes”

    Reply

  23. Tom Says:

    You guys have all spectacularly missed the point.

    This woman doesn’t want your sympathy. She’s fine. If she’s a tiny bit less rich, she knows that her future will be fine, if slightly delayed.

    The article is a warning. She points out she actually picked the more expensive restaurant, because it doesn’t look as flashy. She’s discouraging her kids from getting more education, even though everybody would win if they stayed in school. And while she has money that could stimulate the economy, she isn’t spending it.

    The people being vilified for agreeing to take contingent compensation are, for the most part, trying to fix problems other people created. The Fannie Mae CFO who killed himself earlier this week didn’t create the mess, he was picked to try and fix it, and found it too much of a burden. We won’t know exactly what role public scorn played in his death, but it certainly didn’t help either him or his company.

    Ridiculing this woman makes as much sense as picketing in front of the one part of AIG that is actually profitable.

    Sigh.

    Captcha: markab HELICOPTER. Who makes those? Russia?

    Reply

    Billy reply on April 26th, 2009 6:11 pm:

    But mocking her is ever so much fun!

    Reply

  24. Joel Says:

    wow…. as much as I hate to admit it, we actually do need rich people in the world. It’s that top 5% of people who help keep the economy going by spending so much money. It’s a fact: trading creates wealth. For everybody. This woman really does need a dose of real life, but, as sad as it is, we actually need people like her =/

    Reply

    stmercy reply on April 26th, 2009 1:03 pm:

    Not being an economist, I’m not sure exactly how true your assertion is… Here’s the thing: are you implying that the money wouldn’t get spent if it were more evenly distributed (and, before anybody asks, NO- I didn’t say equally; I think communism is pie-in-the-sky)?

    I dunno- I think, if anything, the only thing we really need insanely rich people for is to give the common people (that’s chattel like you and me) something to strive for, regardless of how unattainable that goal really is for the average person. By similar reasoning, I suppose, the only real need for the desperately poor is to keep the middle classes struggling so they don’t become them- everybody needs someone to look down upon, after all…

    Reply

    Minty reply on April 27th, 2009 9:23 am:

    Actually, I think most of the spending comes from the middle class. There’s more of them, and, because of weird psychological reasons, actually spend more money in the long run than most people.

    Well, that’s if you’re counting legitimate spending, and not how much the sad, bored little rich kiddies blow up their nose or shoot into their veins each year.

    Reply

    Minty reply on April 27th, 2009 9:24 am:

    That should be “spend more money in the long run than most rich people.” Sorry, brain not quite working yet.

    Captcha: “slackers Corp.” Yep, I’m a card-carrying member!

    Reply

    Joel reply on April 27th, 2009 6:28 pm:

    eh
    that makes sense. Although, if you look at an international scale, America being one of the richest countries in the world, it’s influence is not something that you’d want to mess with. Unless, of course, it’s a helping hand (which it often is).

    This economy, as much as it sucks now, has been in the past the strongest and most vibrant. I.e, completely fucking rich. I’m just saying…. doesn’t that alone play a very important role in the world???

    Reply

    Minty reply on April 28th, 2009 8:45 am:

    Certainly it does globally. I was thinking in terms of the US alone. of course, that didn’t stop us from borrowing a huge chunk of change from the rest of the world and plunging ourselves into a massive debt.

  25. Joel Says:

    yeah

    I guess my point was that if you took the world scale to U.S scale, rich people in the U.S are like the U.S on the global scale.

    Reply

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