(Submitted by Officer “I want to keep my job thank you very much”)
1) I am not the one and only.
2) Not allowed to plunder the office stationary for things to repair my motorbike with.
3) Not allowed to eye-up women while working.
4) Not allowed to use the radios to organise a run up to Chicken Cottage.
5) Don’t say shit about shit to Robocop (K37).
6) If Chickenman (K14) is asleep in the breakroom he does not require the attention of a coroner.
7) I am allowed to penalise an errant vehicle which also happens to be blocking my bike in, but I’m not allowed to spend the rest of the day giggling about it.