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Archive for March 22nd, 2009

Giant Military List

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

(Submitted by Soulex?)

1) Not allowed to roll around on the ground in my underwear
2) Not allowed to respond with a death glare when told to do something
3) When asked what I am doing by a SGM I am not allowed to respond with “looking for naked pictures of your mother”
4) As a private, I have no rights
5) I am not allowed to laugh when an NCO tells me he’s a bigger man than I am
6) Nor am I allowed to inquire why a big man can’t take out his own trash or mop his own floors
7) I am not allowed to come to PT wearing a pro mask, even if a certain other private stinks
8) I cannot force someone to take a shower
9) Do not cutoff the CG during a brief anymore midsentence
10) Even though my Dad said I can come home, the Army wont let me
11) I am not allowed to change genders as it will get me kicked out of the military
12) Even if I cover all medical expenses
13) Do not show up to a PT test with a Mountain Dew can and a cigarette lackadaisically to cheer on other soldiers
14) Even if my captain does it