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We “shout” so you don’t have to

March 11th, 2009 by LT Ronald

I would love to see this commercial.

A child comes in from playing outside and is covered in dirt, mud, and grass stains. Instead of quietly smirking and shaking her head, the mom becomes irate and starts screaming at the child about getting his good school clothes dirty. She says that “shout” had better get these stains out or else dad will be using his belt when he gets home.

Switch scenes to terrified child hugging his own knees while sitting on his bed awaiting the beating to come.

Switch scene to cursing mom spraying clothes with “shout”, and a scene of the tumblers on the washing machine going.

Switch scene to dad, with belt in hand, shaking his head over the though of having to beat his child.

Switch scene to mom pulling out the now clean clothes and dad putting his belt back on.

Switch scene to super-relieved son wearing his good school clothes again, and saying “Thank you Shout!”

Than finally a display of the product with “We ‘Shout’ so you don’t have to.”

How ’bout that for truth in advertising?

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22 Responses to “We “shout” so you don’t have to”

  1. Pte Walker Says:

    Your a terrible person, but I’d probobly buy it after seeing the commercial…does that make me a worse person? Meh.

    Reply

  2. Thomas "Soulex" Says:

    wonderful

    i like your style sir.

    Reply

  3. Stonewolf Says:

    That would be a fine ad. Perhaps you should start a firm.

    Reply

  4. Freiheit Says:

    The outrage it would spawn would just be more free advertising!

    Reply

  5. Speed Says:

    Quoting a Lowenbrau commercial from the 70s, “… you’re a genius.”

    Reply

  6. TeratoMarty Says:

    We know that fear is Madison Avenue’s second-favourite tool (after sex appeal). I predict that we’d see quite a lot of young children with facial bruising toddling in to buy Shout with their own pocket money.

    Sure I’m going to Hell, but at least you’re coming with me.

    Reply

    Ed Drone reply on March 12th, 2009 8:35 am:

    Heaven for climate, hell for company.

    (Mark Twain)

    Ed

    Reply

  7. Sequoia Says:

    *slow clap*

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on March 12th, 2009 5:33 pm:

    *slow clap*

    Reply

  8. Bill Says:

    100 points to the first person that shoots this and puts it on youtube. It will go viral and have more affect that any ad will.

    Won’t cost J&J a dime.

    Reply

  9. Anna Says:

    Wow, you’re all sick and twisted individuals. Funny, true, but twisted none the less.

    Reply

  10. Judgeferis Says:

    Bill: too true man :DDD and id SOOO watch it XD

    Anna: true true. we are all sick monkeys…but then…if your here with us…you are too!! :DD

    about the idea: holy CRAP that would be hilarious to see!!!! could actually see this going over the air XD

    capthca: source fireboats – i didnt know that lighting boats on fire needed source code!

    Reply

  11. Anonymous and STILL Employed Says:

    That’s a good one. But not as good as this.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–dmLwKs_Ww
    BEST. PRODUCTS. EVER.
    captcha- landscape $275: damn, a bargain

    Reply

    Billy reply on March 12th, 2009 8:57 pm:

    And yet they still don’t have any kitchen napalm! Why do you hate me god!!!

    captcha violations henry: thats his nickname in court.

    Reply

    Minty reply on March 17th, 2009 10:09 am:

    They used to have barbecue napalm, though. No shit, check it out. (SFW, btw)

    Captcha: “Saladin Shapey.” Hrm. So that means, what, Saladin wore a girdle?

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on March 17th, 2009 10:24 am:

    I freakin want that.

    Minty reply on March 17th, 2009 11:16 am:

    Of course you do. To quote the author: “there’s not a man alive who wouldn’t leap at the chance to deploy some Siz today. . .FLAMMABLE WHIPPED CREAM.” Hell, I’m not a man and I want it.

    Catherine reply on March 17th, 2009 12:36 pm:

    Holy fucking christ
    I want. I really, really want. Who do I have to screw to get some of this stuff?

    This+black powder+five hundred firecrackers+three pumpkins=good time.

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on March 17th, 2009 2:28 pm:

    We should start some sort of campaign to get this stuff made again. That and other stuff like lawn darts.

    Billy reply on March 17th, 2009 8:03 pm:

    Holy crap, I was just reading the ad more carefully, and now I want that stuff manufactured, and I want crack added to the machine to make it work faster! If nothing else, imagine the practical jokes, mainly ones involving a smoker and ice cream…

    Captcha: Healey 1867, the early Harley

  12. awsomemantotherescue Says:

    remember the car ad where the cat got decapitated?

    Reply

  13. Sarah Bellum Says:

    aw man youre a sick twist
    i love it

    Reply

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