He Thought You Were The Candy Man
Okay, here’s another one, not military, but entertaining all the same.
When I was working in a department store at the local mall last October, I always made it a point to antagonize Doug, the security guy, on the sales floor. If I wasn’t sneaking up behind him and stealthily turning up his radio volume to the max, it was altering the displays in the men’s department to look very questionable (balloon “boobs” in the sports shirt displays, ladies brassieres on the dress shirt mannequins, ladies underpants arranged in the pocket square displays), and Doug was always the first one to see them. He wasn’t to happy with me for that.
Well, Doug is a member of the Rocky Horror Picture Show Divine Decadence cast here in Las Vegas and I discovered he was going to perform the part of Dr. Frankenfurter at the Onyx Theater, for the first time, Saturday evening. Well, the day of, I brought the RHPS movie soundtrack to work. The Urbanwear department associates had their own stereo system and were more than happy to be of assistance. I made sure EVERYBODY in the menswear department knew what was going on concerning Doug’s little RHPS gig that night and we needed to have a little fun with him. This is where the soundtrack comes into play.
Well, 12:00 rolled around, and here comes Doug, strolling onto the sales floor, where he posted himself at his usual spot, right by the Ralph Lauren Polo section. He was watching me out of the corner of his eye because he KNEW I was up to something, he just wasn’t sure what.
Well, the customers were in short supply and the men’s department was nearly devoid of ANY customers at about 1500. I quietly walked over to Urbanwear and one of the associates pulled me aside and said “Jen, we may as well do this now, there are like NO customers around. What track did you want us to play?” My response? “Track five, ‘Sweet Transvestite’, and CRANK THAT BABY UP!”
Moments later, the intro to “Sweet T.” began, and Doug raised an eyebrow, not sure what he was hearing, at first. When the main music kicked in, Doug turned beet red as he SCREAMED my name and scanned the dress shirt department, looking for me. I was in Urbanwear, laughing so hard I could barely stand up. “I am going to KILL you, Jenifer!” Doug yelled as he broke into a dead run, chasing me me through the store.
In the meantime, the guys in the surveillance room were calling Doug on his radio, asking if everything was OK. Doug stopped, and told the surveillance guys, over the radio, what had happened, glaring at me as he did so. The entire department was laughing as I explained to Doug my little joke. He smiled and said, “paybacks are hell, Jen”.
I’m still waiting for the payback he threatened me with.
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March 2nd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Nice prank
Captcha :F.B.I. cosmic: The agency’s new field office. Special Agent Zap Beeblebrox is in charge
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SGT M reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:49 am:
That was a great prank. The only thing missing was a video camera.
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March 2nd, 2009 at 11:58 pm
If he was a proud Member of Divine Decadance, it should not have bothered him at all. Apparently he was not truely in touch with his inner Frankenfurtur and it embarassed him.
And thanks Jen, I now have the soundtrack of the RHPS stuck in my head.
Captcha : Mage Studs – young Magic Students working thier way through Unseen University by performing as exotic dancers during Ladies Night at the Mended Drum
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Minty reply on March 3rd, 2009 12:10 am:
Very true–no real Dr. Frankenfurter would be ashamed to hear his favorite song. . .hell, at the very least, he should be grateful for the chance to practice, if only in his own head.
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Podmunki reply on March 3rd, 2009 1:07 am:
Nice prank, should have talked to Surveillance first though. (they would have probably played it through his walkie, as well…
And amazing…someone else on this side of the pond actually reads Discworld…
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Ozman reply on March 3rd, 2009 2:18 am:
I have been in a few Rocky casts any real Frank would have instantly broken out into the dance and started doing his scene right there in the store.
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Ozman reply on March 3rd, 2009 2:20 am:
Ah Discworld were would I be with out you…probably have made better grades a couple semesters, but I believe the trade was worth it.
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TeratoMarty reply on March 3rd, 2009 9:54 am:
You might have made better grades, but Discworld gave me much more in the way of real-world education than high school and college combined.
Ozman reply on March 3rd, 2009 10:31 am:
very true
Minty reply on March 3rd, 2009 12:08 pm:
I agree. Discworld has more insight into human nature than all the Greek philosophers combined.
steelcobra reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:52 am:
I have ten discworld books in the shelf to the left of me right now!
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Mandy reply on March 5th, 2009 1:17 am:
What, only 10?
JeniferD reply on March 3rd, 2009 12:06 pm:
Actually, surveillance was VERY entertained; they tell me I at least give them something else to watch (other than shoplifters).;-)
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David B reply on March 2nd, 2014 10:40 pm:
Did they get a copy of the tape?
Catbunny reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:01 pm:
I’ve got a Discworld calendar in my office. :D
(Got it at Conflikt)
Captcha: neces- reality
I don’t think reality is really necessary.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 am
You guys have to realize that this guy was the store security; he needed to mainatin his composure, but, yes, he lost it. BTW, he goes by Raymond, because there already is a guy named Doug in the cast, to avoid any confusion. He is also the PA on this cast. Let’s just say, I did go to see that show and Tim Curry would have been proud.
http://www.divinedecadence.org/main2.php
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Jenifer D. reply on March 3rd, 2009 8:07 am:
Oh yeah, his pet name for me was ‘Mogwai’. His post has changed since that prank took place. On the site, go to cast bios to see what he looks like as Dr. Frank, scroll down to the bottom see what he looks like without the RHPS makeup.
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David B reply on March 2nd, 2014 10:42 pm:
Teh site is gone. It only shows me an weight loss site.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 8:05 am
He might have thought you were going to the production that evening and was going to get even with you then.
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JeniferD reply on March 3rd, 2009 9:20 am:
As a matter of fact, I did go to the show that night; any plans he had for payback were thwarted anyway because I left the show early; had to be at work early the next day. :-)
Tim Curry would have been proud of Doug’s performance that night.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 10:29 am
I can’t actually find a “Doug” as Frank at the Divine Decadance website. :( Found a “Doug” as Eddie.
captcha: voted Thin – yeah, everyone who plays Frank is disgustingly thin
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JeniferD reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:28 am:
Doug goes by ‘Raymond’ on this cast, they already have a guy named Doug, to avoid any confusion. Raymond is also the production assistant on this cast.
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David reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:36 am:
Raymond does Frank? But his picture as a Production Assistant makes him look so … NORMAL!
He’s a passable Dr Frank, but my favorite from the Cast Bio page has to be Alex. Not that I’ve ever seen the Divine Decadance show.
captcha: wounded 7) – yeah, that’d be Dr Frank alright
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JeniferD reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:40 am:
Yeah. I know, Raymond is a very normal guy, with normal guy hobbies. :-)
David reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:43 am:
Normal guy hobbies … like chasing women. :D
captcha: Ameri- Norris – Chuck Norris is his own country! Ameri-Norris is one of its vassal states.
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:52 am
You should sleep with your pillow…….. over your head……… tonight.
10 points to who got that.
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David reply on March 3rd, 2009 11:41 am:
Red-vs-Blue:
You should sleep with your pillow on top
of your head
tonight
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March 3rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Dude not cool. I play rocky, and I don’t make that fact really well-known.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 7:01 pm
How on Earth is someone in a Rocky cast such a square in the outside world? I’ve always looked up to cast members, thinking that they were touched by a freaky god. But here he’s all hard-ass about you putting the mannequins in drag? He has a mandate from the freaky gods to HELP you! For a faggot, I’m boringly square, but even I’m more fun than this guy.
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March 3rd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Okay, let me explain this guy to all of you; He is a nice man, he has a day job and he really wasn’t too keen on the department store management knowing what he does when he’s off the clock (NOT like there is anything wrong with it, the man is worth his salt), but, he is still a little bit, um, of an introvert.
I tried to toughen this man up with the pranks I pulled on him, but, try as I might, he wouldn’t take the bait and learn how to fight back. The DD Cast producer (she’s a female, BTW) declared all-out war on Yours Truly.
I was too much for the DD Cast to handle. Not like I cared what they all thought. I love the movie, and it does deserve respect for being a cult classic. If the audience is going to participate; stay with the plot, don’t go ghetto on this wonderful musical. That’s the only issue I have with the audience participation thing; that is why I left the theater early that night.
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David B reply on March 17th, 2015 10:16 pm:
So, did Doug get his payback?
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March 9th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I’m a HUGE fan of RHPS. Now I’m going to imagine Frankfurter in Security Wear…
-SpaZzy-
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