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Archive for March 2nd, 2009

He Thought You Were The Candy Man

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

Okay, here’s another one, not military, but entertaining all the same.

When I was working in a department store at the local mall last October, I always made it a point to antagonize Doug, the security guy, on the sales floor. If I wasn’t sneaking up behind him and stealthily turning up his radio volume to the max, it was altering the displays in the men’s department to look very questionable (balloon “boobs” in the sports shirt displays, ladies brassieres on the dress shirt mannequins, ladies underpants arranged in the pocket square displays), and Doug was always the first one to see them. He wasn’t to happy with me for that.

Well, Doug is a member of the Rocky Horror Picture Show Divine Decadence cast here in Las Vegas and I discovered he was going to perform the part of Dr. Frankenfurter at the Onyx Theater, for the first time, Saturday evening.  Well, the day of, I brought the RHPS movie soundtrack to work.  The Urbanwear department associates had their own stereo system and were more than happy to be of assistance. I made sure EVERYBODY in the menswear department knew what was going on concerning Doug’s little RHPS gig that night and we needed to have a little fun with him. This is where the soundtrack comes into play.

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Radio Procedure List

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

(Submitted by Stitch)

My job involves using the radio a lot. There are certain do’s and don’ts which I have learned from the big stack of complaints in my personnel file…

1: My callsign is K31, not Motormouth.

2: Nor is it Artemis.

3: Must not refer to colleagues by nicknames on the radio (such as Bossman, Robocop or Dodgyman.)

4: The controller’s callsign is Control, not Sweetheart.

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