Delayed Monday Morning List

And here it is as promised, yesterday’s list.

(Submitted by Nameless, to protect the innocent guilty

1.        “Spray and Pray” applies to many, many things that have nothing to do with mil-issued weapon systems.
2.       It’s not a great party until someone loses rank.
3.       Unless you have enough evidence to cause rank loss but are withholding it for whatever OPSEC reasons apply.
4.       While it is great to respect a Vet even if some choose to wear mil-issue clothes mixed with jeans to the bar after their discharge, it is unforgivably sad for a “vet” who was “wounded” right before entering a combat zone causing his medical discharge to do the same thing.

5.       If you get a Bronze Star for the monetary value of equipment you had stored in a CONEX while deployed, and you’re proud of yourself, you’re a douche.
6.       You deserve whatever pranks coming to you for such douche-ness.
7.       Even if you’re an E-7 with the 1st Armored Division Headquarters out of Wiesbaden, Germany and get pushup happy with subordinates trying to make them respect you.
8.       Even if you’re an Equal Opportunity Rep who hasn’t helped anyone because they all complain about you.
9.       Be selective enough about your friends to have a bunch of good stories for your handful of normal buddies about your other buddies.
10.   If you know people who are stupid drunks, take a camera and keep a distance to have evidence for later use.
11.   If you work as a scout in a headquarters unit, you don’t and you’re gophers.
12.   If you work as an 11B in a headquarters unit, you’re admin-type gophers.
13.   If you’re anything but a gopher in a headquarters unit, you’re probably lying to someone…most likely yourself.
14.   Every unit is like the last one that told you the whole Army isn’t like it, unless you get into a secret squirrel type unit.  Then it’s cool.
15.   The normal units are all filled with profile riders, guys who think every six months is effective training, CSM who bolo, LTC who avoid fat camp due to missing paperwork, a large group who says they aren’t part of the problem even though they’ve accepted the problem and do nothing about it, and the small handfuls of good soldiers.
16.   Garrison doesn’t make a good soldier.
17.   Medals don’t make a good soldier.
18.   Points don’t make a good soldier.
19.   To know this is a huge step in being a good soldier.
20.   Beer makes the voices of the medal-chasers go away.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 11:04 pm and is filed under New List. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.