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Random Thoughts

January 8th, 2009 by Speed

1. The video of Zarqawi trying to fire the jammed SAW:  Pull, Look, Push.  Dumbass.
2.  Women’s Beach Volleyball: Drool…
3. I’m not apathetic, I just don’t care.
4. Democracy may not flow from the barrel of a gun, but al-Qada ain’t interested in Democracy anyway.
5. If Iraq was about the oil, why are the tankers taking it all to China?
6. If the USA truly was as repressive as the ACLU, Code Pink and CAIR all claim, why are those idiots still alive?
7. After a few beers feminists are easier on the eyes and as easy as any other lonely woman. Turn out the light.
8. Sure, most nymphos have a weight problem, but it’s not like you’re going to marry ’em.

9. There are no dark, nefarious groups in the government; rather, just a bunch of lazy unionized bureaucrats looking forward to the next four day weekend.
10. Why didn’t the hot female high school teachers sleep with students when I was in high school?
11. According to a co-worker, the legal drinking age in 1977 was 13. Perhaps that’s why the 70s are all a blur.
12. “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Sure. Tell that to OJ.
13. My 11 year old niece kicked my ass in HALO 3. Multiple times. Dammit!
14. When your colonel can’t hit any targets on the M9 range, it’s a BAD IDEA to have the tower pop up the targets and then shoot them down with his pistol.
15. Never refer to the sergeant major as “Sergeant Major Radio.” [RE: Cuba Gooding movie]
16. Anti-war protesters are so clueless when they rant on and on about inequalities in the military. The army is where an Asian guy can say to a white guy, “Hey bro, pass me a beer.” And if a black guy hears it will say, “You got beer? Hook me up!” Good times.
17. My son calls me “Bobby.” His scout leader said, “I can’t believe your son calls you by your first name.” I replied, “My name isn’t Bobby.”
18. There is a thin line between a criminal ponzi scheme and the Social Security Administration and that line is the Beltway (I-495).
19. If I could still eat steak, fried chicken and the occasional pork chop, I too could be a vegetarian.
20. I heard this one: one third of the people alive are ugly. Look around and if the people around you look okay, then I’ve got some bad news for you.

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11 Responses to “Random Thoughts”

  1. David Says:

    13 – you need more practice

    IN snowdrifts – at -20F, plus windchill, and we call it “a brisk day”

    Reply

  2. Viktor Says:

    10 – No s#!t.

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on January 9th, 2009 7:11 pm:

    For me it was more the teachers aids and student teachers. I remember my senior year we had a smoking hot red head student teacher sure she was an idiot but if I had been in better shape and a little more confident I would have tried to hit that. It’s not like anybody could have gotten all upset about it, I was 18.

    Reply

    Madrocketscientist reply on January 12th, 2009 11:15 am:

    They did sleep with the students, those teachers were just smart enough to pick lovers that could keep their mouths shut.

    The fact that they are getting caught is either evidence that kids are getting dumber, or teachers are (or both).

    Reply

    Jim A reply on January 12th, 2009 1:01 pm:

    So the problem isn’t that they weren’t sleeping with students, it’s that they weren’t sleeping with ME. Which makes them little different from the girls in class.

    Speed reply on January 13th, 2009 1:51 pm:

    Yep and that leads me to this:
    In high school, what is the difference between a bitch and a whore?
    A bitch sleeps with everyone.
    A whore sleeps with everyone but me.

    Apologies to the bitches and ho’s.

  3. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    5. Oil is fungible. Literally doesn’t matter where it comes from or goes to, so long as it ends up in your machine. Kinda like how it doesn’t matter if the water you drink evaporated out of the ocean or a lake before raining down again. A tanker of oil going to China from Iraq is one they don’t need to buy from someone closer to the U.S.

    Reply

  4. CCO Says:

    #6 I’ve said that myself!

    #18. Too true!

    Reply

  5. mc_900_ft_jedi Says:

    1 – Let them keep the trigger down and melt the barrel
    2 – Moar jumping, less clothing (indeed, I’m a pig)
    9 – I’d respond to this, but it’s time for my break
    10 – Amen, bruddah

    Reply

  6. Gunrunner Says:

    #9 – Toooo F’in true. Just spent 6 3/4 yrs working for a bunch of these @#&%&@! New contract and my “overqualified” personage is on the sidewalk…yippee!

    Captcha = Newark MOVETO – NO! Not even for D cups and imported beer!

    Reply

  7. JEBBERS Says:

    about 13. you sound like someone even i can beat.

    Reply

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