• RSS
Payday loans
RedShirts 2 Ad Banner for Kickstarter

I Know What They Were Thinking

October 17th, 2008 by Andrew

With Skippy talking about road trips and such things it brings to mind that there are several places out there with some sort of attention grabbing gimmick. Some are things like dinosaurs in front of gas stations, others are simply the names of the place. Below are a few names I have come across (and their locations when I can remember them) in my travels. All of these places are reputable places of business that are not what their names imply.

  1. Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn (Alaska) (Hotel and Lounge)
  2. Grandma’s Shaved Beaver (Washington) (A restaurant specializing in local game animals)
  3. St. Louis Steel Erection (Missouri) (Construction company)
  4. Hore’s House (British Columbia) (Bed and Breakfast)
  5. The Notty Shop (Alaska) (A souvenir shop and Ice Cream/coffee bar)
  6. Knockin’ Boots (Oklahoma) (Obviously it’s a custom boot maker)

And then there are of course the message boards. You have probably seen several of them that when taken out of context would be extremely naughty. Probably the most famous one is a church sign with the message “The most powerful position in the world is on your knees.” There are many others and here are just a few that I have seen:

  1. On a taxidermists shop: “Father’s Day Special – Wives, bring ’em in and we’ll skin and stuff ’em for you!”
  2. On a sign shared by a grocery store and lingerie shop: “Special Half Off Sale! Come see our melons!”
  3. On a sign in the middle of a desert: “Caution! No Water Ahead!”
  4. On a church sign: “Laying on your back and yelling “Oh My God” is not the same as going to Church.”

And finally, as I was driving off a military installation there was a sign that simply said “Speed Hump Ahead,” not even 25 feet later there were two deer going at it hot and heavy. This distracted me so much that I actually bottomed out the back end of my truck and the actual speed hump.

Please feel free to add as many places and names as you would like to this!

Subscribe to Comments for Skippy's List

«Previous Story:
Next Story: »

85 Responses to “I Know What They Were Thinking”

  1. Von Krieger Says:

    Seen on a billboard during my Florida vacation:

    Badcock Plumbing.

    Reply

  2. iTuneYouOut Says:

    This really isn’t dirty, but i found it funny. A local church had this message on their bulletin board. “There are some questions Google can’t answer.” Somehow i beg to differ, but that’s just me.

    Captcha: 20,000 Fourteen: year of the appocalypse? the Mayans were wayyy off

    Reply

    Tony reply on October 17th, 2008 4:48 am:

    yup and the church can’t answer them either

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 8th, 2011 12:49 am:

    Of course there are questions that Google cannot answer. Why do you think search overload happens?

    Reply

  3. Podmunki Says:

    Found on Hwy 89 in a town in southern Utah, that i can’t quite remember the name of:

    Ho-Made Pies (selling point on roadside diner)

    Reply

    Ellis reply on October 17th, 2008 5:02 pm:

    The podunk little town would be Mt. Carmel Jct. and I used to work at that very place. I hope you didn’t stop to eat there.

    Reply

  4. Tzanti Says:

    On a marginally tangential note:

    There is a famous pub in Bristol called the Bunch of Grapes.

    Bristol Uni students, BRI medics and other various wags regularly used to steal the ‘G’ so that the sign would read, Bunch of Gapes.

    Finally, at his wits end and sick of buying G’s on a frequent basis, the landlord gave up and took down the ‘R’ too. So for many years the sign simply read Bunch of Apes.

    Oh, and one of the worst, most dangerous, road junctions in London is, for entirely unconnected historical reasons, called Amen Corner.

    Reply

    Daver reply on October 18th, 2008 11:55 am:

    Been there, seen that, haven’t stolen the sign though.

    On a related note: in Bristol there’s also a lane called “there and back again lane”. Whenever I pass I check to see if it’s there, or been stolen AGAIN, about 1/2 the time it’s gone.

    Daver

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 8th, 2011 12:54 am:

    You made an error with telling us the “new message” of the sign. You said they stole the G but it read “Bunch of Gapes”. How tired were you when you typed that?

    Reply

  5. kelly Says:

    Just got a call from one of our buyers.

    On a Subway sign in Carthage, MO.

    “Come in and get the best 6 inces in town!”

    Ohhhhh for the love of teenagers.

    Captcha: Agrees always – well with alliteration like that… I just might have to!

    Reply

  6. the intel guy Says:

    Captcha: week occupied

    Yep- sounds like my work schedule.

    Reply

  7. Jon Says:

    My old high school was named “Coral Shores”. On a regular basis people would steal the C and S initials to make the school become “Oral Hores”

    Reply

  8. Andrew Says:

    Direct translation from Chinese Firework:

    Danger! Explosive children are hazardous to health and may cause fire!

    Do not explode in face!

    Firework for adult only!

    Do not ignite when firework unattended!

    Wow. I think the chinese are having a little fun with American warnings.

    Captcha: Ten shun – Guido Fawkes in the Army

    Reply

  9. Billy Says:

    I have to say, the chinese fireworks warning reminded me that when Ben&Jerrys sent ice cream to one country, it didn’t sell well, turns out the translation for that country ended up reading “Monkey Chunks” ice cream. I wonder who missed that one. Also, I wonder who bought that ice cream, and if they were disapointed at the bananas.

    Reply

    Minty reply on October 17th, 2008 2:26 pm:

    I’d have to say my favorite international marketing oopsie is when Chevy tried to sell the Nova in Spanish-speaking countries. No one would buy it, and after extensive (and expensive) research, it was discovered that no one wanted to buy a car that claimed it wasn’t going anywhere.

    Reply

    steelcobra reply on October 17th, 2008 8:07 pm:

    Debunked
    http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp

    Captcha: Training VARDAMAN – because obscure superheroes need to be in top form too.

    Reply

    Minty reply on October 17th, 2008 8:09 pm:

    Argh! I’ve been taken in! Bad Minty! Bad, bad, BAD Minty!

    Mudrat reply on February 3rd, 2009 4:22 am:

    Yet Mitsubishi persist in selling an SUV wagon in a number of countries as a Pajero – strangely not spanish speaking countries.

    Reply

  10. Chris Says:

    Kansas Colleges:

    Friends University used to be Friends University of Central Kansas. And the acronym was bolted to the side of the building in huge metal letters.

    At K-State someone writes/paints a P in front of Leasure Hall every couple of years.

    Reply

    Alex reply on October 19th, 2008 9:29 pm:

    Every couple of years? Try a few weeks. I have a class in Leasure and I always check the sign to see if any lighthearted vandalism has taken place.

    Captcha: Romantic and ….and what?

    Reply

    Chris reply on October 20th, 2008 9:00 am:

    Ah, my mistake. I usually only know about it if my friends mention it, and they usually don’t. My bad. :)

    Captcha: Flynn vorable I’ll trade lynn for an a, it’s favorable!

    Reply

  11. LouisCQ Says:

    This remindsme of a billboard on a bedstore once. (I think I have a picture around here somewhere of it.)

    “We Are Your Hooker Headquarters!”

    Reply

  12. Ryan Says:

    On Route 168 headed towards Kitty Hawk, NC are several billboards that urge you to “Try My Nuts!”

    Reply

  13. Ryan Says:

    Oh, there’s also a store in Huntsville, AL called “The Fudgy Nut”…

    Reply

  14. Andrew Says:

    I think I’ll open a bar called “Go On An Errand.” that way the a wife asks where her hustband is going he can say in all honesty “I’m going to Go On An Errand honey. Wanna come with?”

    Reply

    CCO reply on October 18th, 2008 8:10 pm:

    There is (or was) a bar in Chapel Hill, NC called “He’s not Here.” Never seen the bar, just the bumper stickers.

    capcha: sitting Avenue — Please do not block the road.

    Reply

    Andrew reply on May 3rd, 2010 7:42 pm:

    There is a bar here in Saint Louis called “Some Other Place”

    I have told my wife on several occasions the I was going to “Some Other Place” with the guys.

    Captcha: Chenango is

    Reply

  15. GunRunner Says:

    Captcha = interlunar Mc…Hmmm, a Scottish astronaut?

    Reply

  16. GunRunner Says:

    The dental clinic on a base I was stationed at had two winners back in the 80’s…MSgt Paine and SrA Bonecutter.

    Reply

    paula reply on October 17th, 2008 5:34 pm:

    I used to live next door to a chicken farm: owned and operated by the Pecks…..

    Reply

    Von Krieger reply on October 23rd, 2008 4:58 pm:

    My mother, an ER nurse, spent a few years working with an individual named Dr. Deadman.

    Reply

  17. Minty Says:

    Back in 2000, Beaver College of Pennsylvania changed its name to “Arcadia” because of all the crank calls it kept getting.

    Also in Pennsylvania, there are three towns within a few miles of one another named “Blue Ball,” “Intercourse” and “Fertility.”

    Reply

    CCO reply on October 18th, 2008 8:14 pm:

    When I lived in Clemson, SC, my barber had a picture of a sign on the wall. The sign was a green and white highway direction sign to two towns in opposite directions. One way led to Prosperity and the opposite way led to Clinton.

    Grende Engineer? Sic transit gloria mundi.

    Reply

    Von Krieger reply on October 23rd, 2008 5:28 pm:

    Here in Minnesota we have towns with some strange names. Though I only know of one Minnesota town due to the fact that in high school during homecoming we we were absolutely forbidden from referring to a recent news headline regarding a deceased resident of the opposing down.

    That headline?
    “Fertle Woman Dies in Climax”

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on October 23rd, 2008 6:49 pm:

    New Jersey There is a town named Piskataway (Pronounced Piss-cat-away) I first learned about it when I was a little kid and had a lot of fun with it.

    Reply

  18. Freiheit Says:

    http://opentheredbox.com/ – New marketing campaign from my employer. Myself and a few of the other “not on the tour” employees have been ordered not to explain why we think that site would be put on blacklists as porn.

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on October 17th, 2008 8:04 pm:

    After looking at the site I’m sure I can Guess

    Reply

    Aislinn reply on October 17th, 2008 10:30 pm:

    http://www.penisland.net/

    Captcha:specially Alexandra

    Reply

  19. Lit Says:

    Strip club in Ft. Lauderdale:

    the Booby Trap

    And since captcha demands “start citing”…
    proof with pictury goodness
    http://www.courthousenews.com/2008/10/15/Don_t_You_Hate_It_When_That_Happens_.htm

    Reply

  20. Raven Prometheus Says:

    The chain of convenience stores in the midwest. I guess they were trying to be cute with the spelling, but it didn’t go over well:

    Kum and Go.

    Reply

    Minty reply on October 17th, 2008 8:11 pm:

    The one nearest my apartment in Iowa City refused to assign female employees to the third shift for that very reason.

    Reply

    steelcobra reply on October 19th, 2008 9:41 pm:

    I refuse to enter those places while driving through Iowa/Nebraska. But then, I hate driving through Iowa period…

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 8th, 2011 1:05 am:

    Actually, “come” is presumably the correct spelling for the slang for “ejaculate/climax”. I read it in Stephen King–Christine.

    Reply

  21. Lokidude Says:

    There’s a pair of towns in central Utah named Beaver and Fillmore. There is, or was last time I went through, a road sign on I-15 north of these towns that was listed as, you guessed it:

    Fillmore
    Beaver

    Reply

  22. cube47a Says:

    Olean, Missouri has an annual Testicle Festival. The billboard claims it’s fun for the whole family and has children’s activities. I always wonder what those activities are.

    Reply

  23. Podmunki Says:

    Utah Valley University in Orem, Utah, when the college was first opened was called Sand Hill Institute of Technology……until students started making shirts that said “when i went to college, i went to….” It promptly got changed to UVSC.

    Reply

  24. Tzanti Says:

    Allegedly, Newcastle Polytechnic was going to change its name to City University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

    Reply

    munkee reply on October 19th, 2008 12:16 pm:

    dam beat me to it i was gonna say that one :D

    Reply

  25. Ben Says:

    then of course, there’s ten Hoor Hall near the quad at the University of Alabama…located not too far from sorority row.

    Reply

  26. Christopher Says:

    There’s a liquor store in East Dubuque, IL that my wife and I alwasy laugh at: Family Liquor. We figured it was a good place to get baby his bottle.

    I’ve also seen a semi from an overseas nursery that had the slogan: “King of Pot Plants”….I might be bale to find the pic I took.

    Reply

  27. SKD Says:

    I demand photographic citation

    Captcha= DIVIDE Pd – Germany tried

    Reply

  28. Christopher Says:

    http://picasaweb.google.com/ChristopherStogdill/LoosePhotos#5258916047550701378

    Found the nursery Pic, we never took the liquor store pic.

    Reply

  29. Christopher Says:

    http://www.familybeer.com/

    Reply

  30. Billy Says:

    You know, I still remember when I first went to Basic Training, the first TI I saw was a Sgt Garr, and we were the “Bulldog” squadron. Also, we had to recruits whose names were “Winter” and “Frost”. It was hard to not consider this as some cosmic joke afterwards.

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 8th, 2011 1:09 am:

    Actually, that is an awesome coincidence. It sounds kind of badass to me.

    Reply

  31. Speed Says:

    When I was in Holland, the people that are friends, family, etc., call each other “hoor.” My wife doesn’t buy it when I tell her it was a “flashback” when I slip up.

    Reply

  32. Janice Says:

    Did a website for a radiator repair business a few years ago.

    Got their business info and nearly fell off my chair laughing at their slogan:

    “The best place to take a leak”.

    Reply

  33. SpaZzy Says:

    We had an advertisement for a play at our school once, it was the “Little Shop Of Horrors” or something to that effect. Well, someone misspelled “Horrors” and wrote “Hors”. We got a big audience.

    -Spazzy-

    Reply

  34. randomspaces Says:

    At the back of Kew (pronounced Q) in Australia, there’s the Far Kew Pub, which sells a Far Kew Brew.

    Reply

  35. smitty Says:

    Pet grooming salon near Clawson MI

    “Doggy Style”

    Reply

  36. Petros Says:

    The town of Fucking, Austria.
    It does exist.

    Reply

    Luke's Girl reply on November 5th, 2008 6:54 pm:

    I didn’t believe it. I looked it up. I fell out of my chair. It does exist.

    Reply

  37. TheShadowCat Says:

    Well, there was the sign for a small movie house that had only two theaters that I saw many years ago:

    Natural Born Killers
    In The Army Now

    Reply

  38. TheShadowCat Says:

    Oh, and there’s a sundae shop that’s going to be opening up near my house soon…right next to a Jenny Craig’s.

    Reply

    Wes reply on October 30th, 2008 7:44 pm:

    That’s not accidental, that’s knowing your market.

    Reply

    TheShadowCat reply on October 30th, 2008 7:46 pm:

    Never said it was accidental, just found it amusing.

    Reply

  39. Illy Says:

    I remember there was a restaurant near where my boyfriend and I had our first date called “Eargasm.” Never got to go there…

    Reply

  40. Mispeld Says:

    My Fav has to be the sign in MI I-69 To Big Beaver Road. Its been stolen a few times.

    Plus places like Cummings GA and Climax MI make me laugh.

    And then not as funny but great when told to go to hell. Hell Mi. Great little town

    Reply

  41. ExRedScarf07 Says:

    Store seen between Texas and Indianapolis, probably in Missouri: Lions Den Food Gas Adult Novelties

    Reply

    Andrew reply on November 6th, 2008 5:33 am:

    that reminds me of a store I saw once. The store name was “Hang’em Harry’s Guns & Pawn” and in the window was this sign: Kids Laugh and Fun Land.

    Reply

  42. darkdanc3r Says:

    North of Birmingham, AL, there’s a pair of signs. On top, ‘Righteousness Exalteth a Nation’

    Under that: Big Jim’s Boobie Bonanza’ with a pair of women’s legs pointing towards the sign above.

    Reply

  43. Matt Says:

    There are actually several of these. Seen one in TX and one in Alabama… I love how I can’t buy a beer on sunday, but all the topless waitresses and porn I could ever want is out on the highway….

    Captcha: “missing per-” what? DoD reg? State law? Disappeared while creating your own poster? I hate captcha…

    Reply

    Matt reply on October 30th, 2008 6:48 pm:

    that should have replied to 41… my bad

    Reply

  44. Wes Says:

    There’s a bar in Baltimore, MD called “Don’t Know”. Takes a few tries to get directions there from someone.

    Reply

  45. Andy Says:

    hmm i know a radio station Brain Gell radio or something plays heavy music, they have the slogan “We’re hard 24/7”

    and that “www.pen island.com” one reminds me of 3 more but i can only remember 1 of them atm

    http://www.therapistfinder.com
    il post the other 2 if i remember them

    Reply

  46. I created fire Says:

    COCK
    COMING JULY 2

    The marquee over the front of my workplace during the ten minutes we took for a smoke break before we put up the rest of the letters.

    Oddly enough, it wasn’t intentional. We kicked ourselves after the fact, because it should have been.

    Reply

  47. macdjord Says:

    Local Store: [big, red letters] NAKED
    [small, white letters] unpainted furnature

    Reply

  48. SrA Says:

    a church by my house had a sign that said “when someone makes you mad say “god bless you” and walk away… it really pisses them off” i thought that was pretty funny

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 10th, 2011 1:51 am:

    The church people can’t say that!

    Reply

  49. mal Says:

    I’ve lived next to (T)horn(l)y Park Campus for about 10 years now. They simply gave up trying to replace it.

    Another one of note is Eromanga in both Australia and Polynesia, but it wont mean much to a great many people.

    captcha; Has STELLA
    I’m pretty sure they do, a great many of the horny parker’s are french.

    Reply

  50. SPC Randall Says:

    i got a couple there is a road in my home town that is called whack off road and off of whack off road there is a road called rock hard lane

    Reply

  51. dave the destroyer Says:

    i used to go to Leeds Grammar School, which proclaimed itself thus on the school gates… then the G got stolen…. then the second m and second r, too.

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 10th, 2011 1:55 am:

    Wait–what?

    Reply

  52. Snyarhedir Says:

    reality check:
    “The most powerful position is on your knees,” can only be an innuendo if you really, really, really want it to be. And even if you do, it is still extremely weak and amateur. (I do understand it, but unless it says “hands and knees” it simply does not work.)

    Reply

    Snyarhedir reply on April 8th, 2011 12:47 am:

    And seriously, “Caution: No Water Ahead!” is not even close to being an innuendo, in or out of context (much like the aforementioned, but even less so).

    Reply

Leave a Reply