Notes From My Trip
These are some notes and observations that I jotted down during my recent car trip.
1)In Missouri there is a restaurant called “Skippy’s”. The sign by the highway made no mention about whether or not they served Panda. I wanted to check it out, but my wife wouldn’t let us stop there. She seemed to be afraid that I would do something weird. To be fair, she only believes that because she has years of experience dealing with me.
2)If you have to travel long distance with small pets, you should probably keep a water bottle handy, to make sure that you can always refill their dish and keep them hydrated.
3) You should probably not keep the water bottle next to your bottle of Vault energy drink.
4) Ferrets just fucking love Vault energy drink.
5) Just past the Arizona/New Mexico border there is an adult cabaret with a giant plastic cow on the roof. I am very curious as to the train of thought that led the owners to believe that this was a sound marketing decision.
6) Somebody in Oklahoma decided to make a combination Indian restaurant and truck stop. Evidently there are a sizable amount of Indian truckers in this country. I know that this probably makes me a bad person, but I keep imagining Smokey and the Bandit, recast with Apu instead of Jerry Reed. Matt Groening could probably make a Simpson episode out of that called “Far-Eastbound and Down”.
7) Since our cat is used to doing his business outside, and was going to be cooped up in a car for a few days, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get a leash so she could take him for a walk while having a pit stop. So she acquired what looked like some sort of kitty bondage harness, and strapped him in. Mr Kitty did not share her enthusiasm for this plan. It was remarkably like trying to walk a small angry chainsaw.
8 ) Eight. I forgot what eight was for.
9) I discovered that there is a Midwestern chain of gas stations whose mascot is a dinosaur. That seems kind of morbid to me. Kind of like using a cow to advertise a burger joint, or a small child to advertise a seminary school.
10) Early in the trip we noticed that some gas stations had up signs, advertising the cleanliness of their restrooms. We joked about that, speculating how the bathrooms must look at a place that didn’t advertise. Until we stopped at such a place. Those signs stopped being funny pretty damn quick.
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October 9th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Hm, 10 sounds like something out of a cheesy horror movie, not exactly sure why, and I’d definitely like to find out the story behind the cow. Also, how’d the ferret react to vault?
P.S. you’re 8 turned out to be 8)
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October 9th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Ferrets rock… But on Vault!?!?! Do tell…
captcha: Barrets 12:25 – Anyone?
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October 9th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
As a midwesterner, you must be talking about the Sinclair gas stations. About once a year somebody gets drunk and steals the dinosaur from the station in my town. Most of the time it ends up in somebody’s yard.
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October 9th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Small angry chainsaw made me giggle and now my coworkers are looking at me as if I’ve grown an arm out of my forehead.
captcha: Probe Eggleston – sign Jones taped on his buddy’s shirt during the abduction.
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October 9th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Sinclair, as an oil company, went belly up a while back IIRC. But station owners got to keep the name and gear, and simply became independent gas stations or otherwise made deals with suppliers that wouldn’t require rebranding.
But it makes perfect sense…dinosaurs and oil were often found together in the “There Will Be Blood” days of oil exploration. To the extent that archaeologists had to worry about violent invasions of oil people.
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October 9th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
We traveled a lot when I was a kid, and I just gotta say, they never warn you about the rest stop bathrooms! Florida, Colorado, and Montana are some of the cleanest (California is hit and miss), but we had some issues with Georgia and Missouri. We would stop at gas-station bathrooms to fill our water bottles.
And in Missouri, Skippy’s just might have served panda.
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October 10th, 2008 at 12:22 am
When we put our cats on a leash, it was like dragging rocks on a string. Someday your wife will learn to let you do weird stuff. After 40 years, my wife says “There is nothing he can do to embarrass me anymore” and lets me do my thing.
Captcha: Walters be – Walters be right next to Skippy’s, it has a plastic cow on the roof.
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October 10th, 2008 at 12:47 am
as an owner of two ferrets…you have my condolences. Ferrets are hyper enough as it is…I can’t imagine mine on Vault. Actually, I can, but then I get the heebie jeebies. I’m just curious as to how much shit you discovered squirreled away. We let our ferrets out of their cages to run around the house once in a while and something always goes missing. Wait…I think I just saw my rollerblade slink by…
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October 10th, 2008 at 2:27 am
Ferrets on Vault brings tears to my eye.
Captcha: Insurgent rat – curiouser and curiouser
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October 10th, 2008 at 5:06 am
“8. I forgot what eight was for.” If I’m correct, excellent Violent Femmes reference. From the song Kiss Off.
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October 10th, 2008 at 6:50 am
4) Ferrets just fucking love Vault energy drink.
sounds like something that should be in Fallout 3.
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October 10th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Oh, wow, I was going to guess Sinclair; two of my uncles used to own a country store, and they sold Sinclair gasoline!
Out here!
CCO
BT
Jessie merstoln? Never heard of her.
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October 11th, 2008 at 3:28 am
The whole list is great–I don’t know where to start. Wired ferrets, stripping under a cow…sounds like my kind of car trip.
Captcha: “Tallors Johnson.” I’d say I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 ft. pole, but I have a feeling that option is unavailable at the moment.
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October 14th, 2008 at 12:57 am
I had a god laugh at #7.
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October 30th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I’ve seen that cow. wondered about it myself.
And yeah I’ve had ferrets of my own and having seen what happens when they get to ordinary mountain dew the concept of vault might make me cry. Next time talk your wife into letting you go to the restaurant. There is little a waitstaff wont forgive with a big enough tip, and the best part of road trips is they probably wont ever see you again.
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December 10th, 2008 at 11:31 am
10… stopped at a gas station in alabama with an obsesive compulsuive cousin who is a germaphobe and they had a taxadermy theme to their restrooms… you could hear the screams from the closed car.. best car trip ever
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December 30th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Oh goodness- I am such a bad person- the OC cousin & the taxadermy restrooms, that just made me LAUGH BIG-TIME………
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