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Thank you for the offerings. I am pleased and Skippy will be pleased as well.

September 19th, 2008 by Michiel

Yesterdays post by me was just a test, to see who could follow instructions. And I would like to thank all of you who submitted items for todays posting. I will post them in the next entry, after this one.

But now that I know I have a strong contingent of followers, who will do as I command, it is time for me to decide whether I should raise an army or start my own religion.

If I were a peaceful man, I would raise an army, but I figure I can do more damage with a religion. Plus a religion will probably last longer than an army,too

At the moment we are just cult sized, and we all know that the only difference between a cult and a religion is numbers. If you don’t believe me, just ask a Scientologist or a Christian. They have been through this stage and eventually became full blown religions, with tax breaks and everything.

And on the third day, of the time with no Skippy, Pope Michiel commanded to reader and contributor alike, to go forth into the world and spread the word of the sacred List of Skippy, so that they may rejoice in its absurdities, and their lives will become full of meaning and purpose.

Pope Michiel spake, “Once we have shown enough people the joys of the sacred List, and they have joined us, Skippy will return once again, to show us… something of moderate importance.”

So go and witness to the unwashed masses and the washed ones too, (hygiene is not an issue since this is an internet site and we can not smell each other), of the difference that Skippy has made in your life. It does not matter how small the difference may be, or if it is something you would not even consider to be normally worth mentioning. Go. Spread the word of Skippy, and one day soon he will return to us.

If you wish to make offerings, I will set up a Paypal account, and for each dollar you give, I will absolve you of one sin. And based on what I know of you people, this should raise a LOT of money really fast.

Now, as a reward for your faithfulness, check out the submissions of random things found on the web by your fellow parishioners.

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12 Responses to “Thank you for the offerings. I am pleased and Skippy will be pleased as well.”

  1. Ihmhi Says:

    Yaaaar!

    It be Talk Like A Pirate Day, and yer lettin’ it pass by like a ship full o’ British gold!

    Dread Pirate Skippy would keel haul you if you forget this hallowed day of rum drinkin’ and peg leggin’! Arr!

    Reply

  2. Sicarius Says:

    Yar, this be a holy day for Pastafarians! I be not wantin’ t’hear yer blasphemies on this event!

    Reply

  3. Marilyn the iMom Says:

    “…the difference that Skippy has made in your life. It does not matter how small the difference may be, or if it is something you would not even consider to be normally worth mentioning.”

    Normally not worth mentioning: I can’t tell you how much that has affected me today. Well, yes, I can: it prompted me to write this! These words could not be less timely or significant, and that’s significant of itself: the sacred paradox.

    The difference Skippy has made in my life is a substantial enhancement to my name-dropping abilities in certain circles. I can truthfully say that I have met Skppy (even if only once or twice) and jaws drop. One young man was agog with celebrity-worship. “You *know* Specialist Schwarz?” he marveled. Yes, I said, and basked in the reflected glory. It did little to moderate his enthusiasm when I said I really knew Skippy’s wife much better, trying modestly to downplay my coolth.

    Of course, now that the Skippy Interregnum has occurred, and my kid has taken over, I can claim kinship with the revered Pope Michiel. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am Michiel’s mother. Geeks, nerds and dorks everywhere may now marvel. We the Dillon family accept it with all due humility.

    And that is all the cosmic grandiloquence I can come up with for the nonce.

    Captcha “in Harold”
    So in Harold’s name, I am yours truly,

    Marilyn,
    acquaintance of Skippy, friend of Lightning, and mother of Michiel

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on September 20th, 2008 2:35 am:

    Arr ye forgot to say it like a pirate!

    Reply

    Mike reply on September 20th, 2008 4:04 am:

    Arr Shit!

    captcha: and shineth – The glory of Pope Michiel

    Reply

  4. Billy Says:

    You may attemt a religion, but once I get my mind control satillites into the atmosphere and online, all will bow to the will of Willim! Confuser of reality, destructor of sanity, and lover of cheese and soda!

    Reply

    Stickfodder reply on September 20th, 2008 5:05 am:

    Hmm I may need to reprogram those. I’ve been trying to take down the Catholic church and a few other organized religions unsuccessfully for years now.

    Um arr.

    Reply

    paula reply on September 20th, 2008 9:00 am:

    tin foil hats are lookin’ real stylish ’bout now….

    oh yeah, almost forgot: Arrr! Avast and keelhaul ’em, every landlubber amongst ’em!

    Reply

    Jayson reply on September 20th, 2008 9:18 am:

    Besides, pirates get wenches.

    Reply

  5. Sean Says:

    Pirates be what you call….”cool”, and such…Just be sure ye avoid the post that awaits the “Peg boy”…Arr, that be some right painful duties, right there (look it up and you’ll understand. Then wish you hadn’t.)

    Captcha= Grand expose…..exactly what the wiki article explaining “Peg boy” is sure to be for everyone who may find it.

    Reply

  6. anselm Says:

    Dude, you’re trying too hard.

    Reply

  7. GunRunner Says:

    Arr, and it was good, and we f’ed for hours, uprooting trees, and shrubs, and flowers…Arr, arr, arr!

    captcha = Street bounty – the reward for capturing land locked pirates?!

    Reply

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