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Archive for September 15th, 2008

Monday Morning Update – Now With More Updatiness

Monday, September 15th, 2008

It’s Monday.   Here’s more things that you should not do.

(Submitted by SPC Andrew Sheffield)

1. Not allowed to recite the Specialist creed during the promotion board as a substitute for not knowing the NCO creed.
2. Not allowed to recite the Specialist creed during any formation/ceremony.
3. A rubber band and paperclip is not an authorized military weapon and will not take the place of my M249.
4. Not allowed to prove said weapon by firing at the first officer that walks by my office.
5. “You’ll be alright,” is not a term to be used when a soldier needs medical assistance.
6. The DFAC does not put mind control drugs in the food or drinks.
7. Not allowed to brake check civilians while driving a HUMVEE.
8. Not allowed to drive over curbs to wake up my TC.
9. Not allowed to Jump anything while in a HUMVEE.
10. Edible underwear is not authorized during field exercise’s.
11. (later that day) Edible underwear is not to be eaten during field exercise’s.
12. I do not have a god hand and I am not aloud to administer divine punishment.
13. The term “smoke ’em if you got ’em,” is not a command to open fire.
14. It is not funny to change the CPT’s decaf with espresso. Especially a half hour before formation.