Well, Maybe The Clowns
So the other day my wife sent me the following link: NSFW
Go ahead an take a look, I’ll wait.
Ready? Good.
Now this nice lady has gone and made a list of the things that she doesn’t like to see in porn. And since I kind of have a thing about lists, I thought I would help her out, by making my own list.
Things That Skippy Doesn’t Want To See In Porn
- Marilyn Monroe (Before you say anything, bear in mind she’s been dead for around thirty years)
- Andy Dick
- Any of the Muppets
- Weasels
- A Pterodactyl
- Clowns (Even though you could get 20 of them in the back seat of a tiny car)
- Daleks
- My Grandparents
- Any form of Lol-speak
- Limericks, iambic pentameter, or haiku
- Non-Euclidean Geometry
- Product Placements
- Fan-fic
- Subliminal Advertising
- Festive citrus, a female wash pot, or females sharing a cup
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June 25th, 2008 at 8:36 am
I don’t even know how to reply to a list like that
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June 25th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Clown porn is awesome, if only to horrify strangers across the land. Support my friends. Buy clown porn!
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June 25th, 2008 at 9:30 am
However, we could make millions by creating a new fetish market that combines all of those. Just think of the money!
Captcha “Messina would” – do i really need to explain this one in this thread?
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June 25th, 2008 at 9:35 am
So, how would one get fanfic into porn? Would one be writing while the other was performing oral sex or a hand job on the other? That would seem rather rude…
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SPC Hyle reply on June 25th, 2008 1:14 pm:
There is fanfic porn. Trust me on this. You also do not want to see it. If you want to know why, read fan fic.
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tsukinofaerii reply on June 25th, 2008 7:33 pm:
Well, there’s a lot of porn in fanfic, but the other way around… not so much. Writers don’t write about writers, Mary Sues are bad form, etc, etc. One does come to mind, but I can’t remember if the fanfic was involved or just a plot thing.
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TheShadowCat reply on June 25th, 2008 9:09 pm:
Sweet cheeks, I’m a fan fic writer and yes, I know there are a lot of people out there that hate it. That’s fine, but if you can’t see the joke I was going for, then I think you’re taking things a little too seriously.
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Ix reply on July 4th, 2008 2:42 pm:
It’s not so much that fan fic is hated. It’s that the first thing anyone thinks of when the term is mentioned is the Suethors.
Captcha: Come Battle. (I’d rather not fight, actually.)
Brina Ferret reply on June 28th, 2008 3:13 am:
the porn would be about a fanfic writer who does horribly bad lemon scenes ((even for a fanfic)) and he is using these girls to help him learn more so he can make his writing somewhat better so he writes down everything they do while they do it… and thats how you incorperate it into the porn
captcha: “Szisz Jacksonville” what happens when an old jewish lady from boston tries to ask you “if this is jacksonville” or the name of a county
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:39 am
What? No Daleks? But what about the vastly underserved segment of Doctor Who fans who want more alien robots in their porn?
PS captcha “estranged head”. How appropriate.
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Sadly, there actually IS porn with Daleks in it. I don’t remember what it’s called, only that it exists. Believe me, it’s disturbing.
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June 25th, 2008 at 11:06 am
There is actually two porn movies with daleks Dr. Loo and the Filthy Phaleks and Abducted by the Daloids AKA Abducted by the Daleks
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Who_spoofs
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PFC Wilson reply on June 25th, 2008 10:52 pm:
Dalek porn? DALEK PORN?
With all of the females the Doctor has had running around with him over the years, they had to go turn one of the most awesome villians in all of Sci-fi into sex toys.
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sylvar reply on June 26th, 2008 8:34 am:
Awesome villains aren’t daunted by a few stairs.
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PFC Wilson reply on June 27th, 2008 6:53 am:
That problem has been fixed. EXTERMINATE has been joined by ELEVATE in the list of things screamed right before they do something
June 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Everything on this list is available online as porn already. With the exception of Andy Dick and my Grandparents.
I hope.
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Analee reply on June 28th, 2008 1:58 am:
Wait…there’s MUPPET PORN?
I…I don’t THINK I want to know…yet the curiosity…it’s astounding…
Captcha: honors enrolled – Ah, they’re obviously not talking about MY high school grades…
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skippy reply on June 28th, 2008 2:18 am:
Meet The Feebles.
They’re not your average, ordinary people.
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Analee reply on June 28th, 2008 2:36 am:
OH! I’ve heard of Meet The Feebles! I just didn’t realize it would fall under the category of “porn,” though.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Never underestimate Rule 34.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleThirtyFour
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June 25th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I have hear of a young man who was in trouble with his school, about a playboy center fold on his wall, when school rules said only family pictures, he did point out it was his grandmother
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Brina Ferret reply on June 28th, 2008 11:48 am:
why would a kid have that and what kind of person would give it to him? you see granny over there jr.? well she once took some very naughty pictures for a magazine…
captcha:”outlook Chicago” when someone uses the musical Chicago to solve all their life problem and situations
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June 25th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I wrote porn with a pterodactyl in it once. I was in a really weird mood.
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June 25th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Congrats, Skippy, you just challenged the power of rule 36. (What, nothing about furries?) I’m not sure how to fit lolspeak into porn without utterly killing it, but now I sincerely want to try. (The rest is too easy. :P)
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June 25th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
When you say that you want no Non-Euclidean Geometry all that pops into my head is “Debbie Does R’lyeh”. Thanks. Thanks alot
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June 25th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I think that midget clown pr0n is very underrated.
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June 26th, 2008 at 5:30 am
What?!?! Your telling me you didnt like 2 girls 1 cup?!
And for those of you that do not know what it is. I’m not going too tell you to not go too this site. But. I STRONGLY advise that you have a strong stomach. It made its round in my infantry company last winter. And made most everyone at the very least gag. If not much more.
http://www.2girls1cup.com
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Donny reply on June 26th, 2008 5:31 am:
And also. This is my 2nd warning. You most certainly do NOT want to go too that site. And it is NOT work safe. Nor child safe. Nor anyone thats not into some really umm “kinky” stuff safe.
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Stickfodder reply on June 26th, 2008 1:45 pm:
Why god!? why? not to you you gave me ample warning. But what the fuck is wrong with some people? how would anybody be willing to do that? Were they drugged? drunk? insane? were they paid a ton of money? I mean at least beastiality is kind of funny. But that was just horrifying! Huh I just realized that skippy didn’t include animals in the list. I’m hoping he forgot or didn’t think of it
Captcha “Domville documents” sounds like evidence in a court case against a town of pedophiles
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June 28th, 2008 at 1:57 am
If I EVER see Andy Dick porn, I will swallow bleach. And what little I don’t swallow will be used in my dying moments to attempt to clean my eyes.
Captcha: 293 Earle – Sounds like alcohol of some sort…
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June 29th, 2008 at 5:17 am
(NSFW) http://www.pornclownposse.com/
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June 30th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
nothing says good times quite like iambic pentameter
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July 2nd, 2008 at 4:29 am
My roommate showed me the pterodactyl porn last semester. One of those days I couldn’t decide if I hated or loved being at VMI.
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July 4th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
festive citrus?
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February 24th, 2011 at 2:39 am
I agree with amandathegreat (on that page). I do not watch/read pornography, but those actually sound like good rules. (Granted, I would prefer that pornography not exist at all, but that is just me.)
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