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More New Friends of Skippy

May 5th, 2008 by skippy

For those wondering how this works, every once in a while I go through the emails with new items that have been submitted to me and then add them to the Friends list. So if you have your own items that you would like to see added, email them to me. If you put them in the comments section I probably won’t add them to the next update because 1) I am incredibly lazy, and 2) I’m not going to make a post where I just repeat what was put into my comment section.

So without further ado, here are the new items.

(Submitted By Robert W. Ray)

  • Do not antagonize Airborne troops by having the local radio station dedicate “Raspberry Beret” to them on the Lunch Dedication Show.
  • Do not explain the theft of MREs as trying to improve company morale by removing the bad choices.
  • Do not use Mountain Dew bottles as a piss bottle on an FTX, then put them in the snow as if you were chilling them for drinks later.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, confuse the aforementioned bottles with the ones you were actually chilling.

(Submitted By Ryan Simmons)

  • The American Navy does not make port visits to rape and pillage.
  • Request chits saying, “Respectfully requesting a bullet to the head.” will always be denied.
  • I am not allowed to force any other sailor into a straight jacket.
  • I am not allowed to tempt someone into a straight jacket to see if they can get out while they are logged onto a command pc, and then write love emails on their account to other sailors while they frantically try to turn off the computer by kicking it.
  • I’m not allowed to blurt out “Holy shit!” over the com line while I am working on a multi-million dollar component of mission critical equipment that everyone is hoping I can fix.
  • I am not allowed to ask Canadian sailors if they have aquatic sleds for small boat operations.
  • I am not allowed to tell foreigners, “At least you smell better than the French.” while in uniform.
  • I am not allowed to eat so many carrots that my skin turns orange and then sing the Oompa Loompa song in formation.
  • The sound of the Phalanx anti-missile defense system going off is not just a way to alert the crew that the ship is about to sink.
  • I’m not allowed to take pictures of various crew members vomiting after a night of drinking and then post it on the command website.
  • I’m not allowed to run away from the XO.

(Submitted By Reggie Taylor)

  • Sponge Bob Square Pants is not a proper cadence for marching
  • Especially when a Command Sergeant Major is nearby

(Submitted By Brandon Harmon)

  • Not permitted to release ducks into the barracks.

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9 Responses to “More New Friends of Skippy”

  1. Ty Says:

    Sponge Bob Square Pants is not a proper cadence for marching
    I disagree it worked for our company over indoc summer but then again we did get a few stage looks from officers…and we didnt run into any command master cheifs either

    I’m not allowed to run away from the XO.
    Done that, but I have determined sucess relys on some key points
    Whether the XO saw enough of you to determine who you are before you started to run.
    How long you are visible before you get out of sight
    If there is anyone in shouting distance who will stop you.
    Is there anywhere to hide from the XO.
    How quickly the XO will forget about you and decide to care about somthing else.


  2. Kat Says:

    I’d love to know how the duck thing went. Had a raccoon get into our barracks during basic, picture a bunch of recruits with green wool blankets checking under every bunk, each one completely terrified that they’d actually find the thing.


  3. Analee Says:

    Yeah, I’m curious about the duck thing too. That made me laugh way too hard for my own good.


  4. Drew Says:

    Don’t dedicate Paradise by the Dashboard Lights to your commander when he finds out his 16 year old daughter has been dating an enlisted troop


  5. TheShadowCat Says:

    Where, pray tell, did he get the ducks?


  6. Ty Says:

    Ducks…I never though of that…we were thinking about chickens, rabbits, or pigs, numbered 1 2 and 4. But with the new capt … CoC … is tomorrow…we were thinking that might be a bad idea :-D


  7. T'chung MayMay Says:

    But spongebob actually has a pretty good beat…


    Snyarhedir reply on February 9th, 2011 11:08 pm:

    That is why it was brought up.


  8. Jen Says:

    Funny you should mention spongebob…because the Russians use that song for marching all the time.


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