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Infrared Neck vs. the Furries

April 24th, 2008 by Michiel

As I have mentioned before, I play City of Heroes pretty regular, and lately I have been spending a lot of time playing my fire tanker, Infrared Neck.

He is basically a drunken redneck with the ability to create and manipulate fire. When charging into battle he yells out his famous battle cry, “Hold my beer and watch this!”

His story begins on a night when the police were called out to his trailer for a disturbance call. During the confrontation his powers manifested for the first time and he accidentally burned down his own trailer and mildly injured the arresting officers. Seeing as how the damage and injuries were unintentional, he was not thrown in jail but instead was given 2,000 hours of community service work.

Thus began the heroing career of the Infrared Neck.

About a week or two ago, I was patrolling the city with Infrared Neck when I ran across an odd sight. It was two cat people, from a super group called The Legion of Catgirls, sitting together in what looked to me as if they were practicing tantric sex. Here is a screenshot of what I saw.

I could tell that they were almost immediately irritated by my presence as the emo cat boy said, “What do you want,” within seconds of my arrival

I thought I was being cool and non-judgemental and I responded with “Tantric sex?”

They immediately became angry and began denying that they were having sex, but instead they were just sitting next to each other talking.

I then explained that it looked like they were having tantric sex, hoping that they would see what I did and maybe we could all get a laugh out of the situation. Instead all this did was piss them off further, and they started calling me a dirty old man, and saying I needed to get my mind out of the gutter.

I again tried to explain that I was not saying they were or were not having sex in public (so to speak), just that it looked kind of like that. They went off on how sad I must be that if I see two people sitting together enjoying each others company that I assume they are having sex.

We went round and round as I tried to clear it up. But they kept calling me a pervert, and saying I was oversexed if all I could see was them having sex. Then suddenly, according to them I must not be getting enough sex if all I could see was them having sex.

I realized they were completely irrational and there was no way to win. Even so, I was pretty sure they actually were having virtual sex as they protested it a little too strongly, in my opinion. So, I took off, and when I reached my destination, I sent a broadcast message, (a broadcast is a message that can be seen by anyone in the zone), that said, “If anyone is interested, there are a couple of furries having tantric sex on the bridge over by the train. Go check it out.”

This naturally sent them into a little kitty fury. Basically they kept slinging the insults, calling me a pervert, and asking whats wrong with two people just sitting together talking, blah, blah, blah.

I ignored them and went and did my mission and after I was done, I was curious if they were still there or not. They were. This is what I found.

I’m sorry, I don’t care what they say, I am convinced they were having cyber-furry, superhero, cat sex with their costumes on, and that is just hilarious and sad, all at the same time.

City of Heroes is a trademark of NCSoft Corporation

Legion of Catgirls is just some crap made up by furries, but is copyrighted by LegionofCatgirls.com

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17 Responses to “Infrared Neck vs. the Furries”

  1. L.B. Bryant Says:

    I’m not sure which amuses me more… the furry tantric virtual shag or the very manly pose that Infrared Neck has as he watches said virtual shag. *lol*

    Reply

  2. Analee Says:

    *falls over laughing, holding her sides*

    Oh gods, Michiel! My sides! That was HILARIOUS! They DO look like they’re having tantric sex!

    Reply

  3. Marina Says:

    *blinks*

    Well, I guess not having a gag reflex is good… would hate to see a hairball come up while that was going on.

    Reply

  4. Mongrel Says:

    So did you report them, pretty sure that’d be against the EULA, and it would piss them off ;)

    Reply

  5. barry Says:

    yeah um i think you were right in thinking what they were doing

    Reply

  6. GreyDuck Says:

    Considering the amount of work required to get around the bounding box code (it’s non-trivial to make two toons clip like that), their protests of innocence fall quite flat.

    Reply

    AndyTheGeeky reply on April 25th, 2008 6:52 am:

    I’ve been playing since late ’05, and I’ve never seen anything like this before – the best I’ve done is getting behind the “walls” in Croatoa’s forest.

    Then again, I don’t play on Freedom xD

    -AndyTheGeeky, CoX global @Alex460

    Reply

  7. JP Says:

    I play LotRO, and well, there are often hilarious instances of odd clipping like that when hobbitses are involved.

    Reminds me of the time when I was playing SWG when there was a vivid description of an “action” in the planetary trade channel. Hilarity ensued.

    Reply

  8. Tony Says:

    i’m not sure which is more disturbing: cyber furry sex, or real furry sex

    Reply

    Tony Stark reply on May 1st, 2008 3:06 am:

    Try this.

    Furry Sex. Or BDSM.

    Reply

  9. Mike Says:

    Furry sex – what a concept.
    Furry women having furry sex – an even better concept.
    What is really funny, it was probably furry guys pretending to be furry women having furry sex.
    What do you think?

    Reply

    Analee reply on April 25th, 2008 1:52 pm:

    I think the logistics of that just exploded my brain…

    Reply

  10. TheShadowCat Says:

    The furverts doth protest too much, methinks.

    *snicker*

    Reply

  11. iTuneYouOut Says:

    well, you have to consider that at least half (and that’s being generous) of female characters in MMOs are in reality played by men

    Reply

  12. Amanda Says:

    Wow. Those screenshots are priceless!

    Furries make me need the brain bleach. Cyberfurries even more so.

    Reply

  13. Lisa Says:

    Ack! Sadly, I very briefly belonged to the Legion of Catgirls on CoH. They were a very strange bunch, and I think your assessment of them is spot-on. (Most of my toons roll on Infinity…feel free to look up @darque or @wyldchyld…my bf…if you ever need anything there)

    Reply

  14. Brianna Says:

    Don’t they have “Private Chat” or “Friends Chat” on that game? They must be maroons.

    Reply

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