I hate those f-verbing yellow magnets
A few years ago, doctor while I going to college I had an interesting experience at a gas station. While I’m standing there filling up my tank, viagra 100mg a middle aged lady and her friend used the pump opposite mine.
One of them glanced at my car, medicine and then circled it. She tsked, and commented to her friend “It looks like someone doesn’t support our troops.” She had that annoying tone that is only used when you are pretending to talk to one person, but you’re really saying to some other person who’s within earshot.
“Well I guess somebody doesn’t love their country, if they don’t support the troops.”
“Ma’am, are you talking about me?” I’m from the south. We are polite to middle-aged ladies no matter how much they inspire us not to.
“Of course we’re talking about you!”
I leaned over and taped a sticker on my windshield. I had purchased this car while I was still enlisted, and it still had a somewhat faded Ft Bragg parking sticker on it.
“Ma’am until a few years ago I was one of the troops.”
Se sneered at me. “Well you don’t have one of the yellow magnets. They only cost a dollar.”
“So you have one?”
“I have three” she said smugly.
“But what have you done to support our troops?” I asked.
“What do you mean? I got three of the magnets.”
“This year I sent magazines, books, and DVD’s to the troops. What have you done?”
She looked confused and slightly embarrassed “Done? I have three magnets. I support the troops…”
“You’re only supporting magnet salesmen ma’am. Have a nice day.” And then I got back into my car and left her to her empty fake patriotism.
To sum up. If you want to support our troops, do something. There are places that will tell you how to send a care package or a letter to any soldier. If that’s too much effort, check out the USO, they take donations and put the package together for you. No matter how you feel about the war, just remember the people fighting in it volunteered to die protecting you. Get off your butt and do something nice for them.
While you at it, get write your Senators, and Representatives, and ask them how many care packages they’ve sent.
Because if you don’t then the terrorists and magnet moguls have already won.
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August 8th, 2007 at 5:51 am
Speaking as someone who has one friend that he knows of in theatre right now, preach it, brother.
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August 8th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I hope they choke on their magnets and then a big anvil comes out of nowhere, like in the Roadrunner cartoons, and smacks them on their empty heads. One more example of useless people with no F**king clue. I hope I never run into someone like that after I’m done embracing the Suck! God. Help. Them.
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August 8th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Way to go Skippy. I also hate those stupid magnets. I had a similar conversation with a woman at work and pointed out that the only thing she was supporting was someone in China who paid their employees $2.00 a day and that in no way did they support or benefit the troops.
Of course I have never like the idea of the yellow ribbons in general. They originally came from a song where they were supporting a convicted criminal getting out of jail. Now some of the places I served while in the Army may have been bad (Ft. Polk comes to mind), I never considered myself a prisoner.
So support the troops or better yet contact your closest base and find out if there is anything you can do to support the loved ones they have left behind.
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August 8th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
anysoldier.com, is a great resource, I love it! (and no I don’t have any magnets on my car)
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August 9th, 2007 at 4:38 am
Mother of pearl. Some people are utter morons. Beautiful display of restraint; I would’ve pulled out my fancy words in your situation.
Even if I had a car, I wouldn’t stick magnets on it. And to Lacey — thanks for the link to Any Soldier.
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August 9th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I can’t believe that your “I was a troop” statement wasn’t enough to shut her up.
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August 10th, 2007 at 1:11 am
It’s amazing how people lull themselves into a false sense of patriotism. Would these patriots be willing to make anywhere near the sacrifice that the troops are making? I think not.
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August 10th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Sounds like all those magnets are good for is to provide a cheap hit of feel-good for some people without requiring that they actually go out and *do* anything. And nothing else.
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August 10th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
I got so tired of all the different colored ribbons that “support” different causes that I made one that reads “I Care $3 Worth”. I wonder how to mass produce those?
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August 10th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
I’ve been wanting to get one of these:
http://www.cafepress.com/multiplexsupply
(scroll to the bottom) because I support both sarcasm and stars of the tv show, Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Oh, and the troops too.
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August 11th, 2007 at 4:11 am
AMEN. I had always thought that song was about someone coming back from ‘nam’ or korea.
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August 12th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
The number of arguments (mostly over the internet) that I’ve been involved over this exact sentiment is distrubing. “I support the troops! Why, I support 15 month tours for them! No, I won’t enlist. I have other priorities.”
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August 14th, 2007 at 9:18 am
I must admit, our proudest moment with the human Race in general was when when Our unit received Care packages From Both England and the US, including letters and cards from various people addressed to our unit, which frankly mattered more to us than the packages.
Of course, consider that We’re an Australian Unit, and a decent number among the many questions I’ve had from English and American Civilians, I tend to get questions along the lines of “How do you keep the convicts Escaping?”(From An English office worker) and “Do you use money In Australia?” (From An American Geography teacher) – Its nice to have people just send us along Letters and notes that say “Hey, We know you’re there, And that You’re not From our country nor owe anything to it, but Thank you so much for doing what you do.”
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August 14th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
I had this conversation a thousand times too. “You were in, why aren’t you showing your support?” Patriotism is in the heart, not on a piece of plastic.
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August 18th, 2007 at 4:15 am
Being a Canadian who just came back from Aghanistan, I don’t mind the stickers. At least it shows their heart is in the right place. The mindless mistaking of flag waving or sticker posting for help is an issue, but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. (Mind you, I will also give you major credit for not running over her toes on the way out.)
BTW, it was a pleasure serving with my Yank brothers-in-arms, God bless.
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August 24th, 2007 at 11:17 am
I’ve bought both of these:
http://www.postmodernsideshow.com/content/blogcategory/17/40/
but since I park outdoors in a college town, they won’t survive being left on my car.
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September 5th, 2007 at 7:15 am
That type of behavior is what I like to call “false support.” They think all they need to do is buy a sticker or magnet and everything is fine. It actually takes a lot more than that.
If you live by any military installation just go down there and see what you can do. By any installation I mean recruiter station, reserve or National Guard building, or whatever post in close to you. Also see if there is a Blue Star Mothers chapter in your area. The local chapter in my area has a major drive every November for the last rush before Christmas. Some businesses even have collections to send care packages to the troops.
Also if you know someone who is serving find out how much mail their buddies are getting. Care packages, letters, and post cards are great to recieve, even if you don’t know the person sending them to you.
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September 8th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
#9: David
http://www.stickerjunkie.com let’s you build custom stickers and only sells in bulk.
As for the magnets, I’ve seen a few pretty funny ones here at Carson, one that says “Some asshole stole my support magnet”, among others.
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September 11th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I get the rude magnet comments all the time. I was in the military for 9 years, I’ve done my bit, thanks… I think the little yellow magnet thing is stupid and wasteful – all that money spent on magnets could have been used to help families of dead soldiers, for example.
In any case, I didn’t have one on my car (2005 Nissan Maxima). I didn’t have one not because I didn’t own a magnet – my wife bought me two. I didn’t have them on my car because the TRUNK ISN’T MAGNETIC (aluminum, I think). Yes, the magnets don’t stick on a Maxima trunk, just like my magnetic mount antenna wasn’t on the trunk for the same reason.
I really got tired of explaining that to nosy shitballs who think they have the high ground because they’ve splurges a buck on yet-another-ribbon-campaign.
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September 17th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
“Tie a yellow ribbon”, the song someone referenced, had nothing to do with criminals or jail. The fellow saying, “I’m coming home, I’ve done my time” is talking about a soldier who was in the military for three years, and asked his love to wait for him. That’s why yellow ribbons represent soldiers.
I do hate people who think that since I don’t have a ribbon on my car, I don’t support MY HUSBAND, or make cookies for everyone in his unit, or adopt soldiers every month. Good for you for calling them out, Skippy
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September 24th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
wow, you’d think that lady woulda shut her mouth after you told her you used to BE one of the troops…of course, her judgment was pretty dumb to begin with.
and i had just recently thought the magnets would make more sense if some of the proceeds went to making and sending care packages.
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September 28th, 2007 at 2:17 am
Quick, respectful note to kiwijus: Tie a Yellow Ribbon is, in fact, about an ex-con coming home after jail time. That’s the reason for the “You see, I’m still in prison and my love she holds the key” line.
And yes, I can’t believe your showing those rather special ladies your Ft. Bragg parking sticker didn’t shut them up.
I enlisted, years ago. During basic, the gas chamber helped us discover I have asthma. So now I’m 4F. While I don’t ‘support’ the war, I do ‘support’ our folks over there risking their lives. Your care package / USO idea is a good one. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll see about doing that.
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October 16th, 2007 at 5:50 am
I do understand your feelings about the ribbons but I will also say that I have one (and have replaced it several times). I bought the first yellow ribbon at a event to raise money for care packages for soldiers (and the next two at events to raise money for soldiers returning home). I have it on my car more to make the point that even if you don’t agree with the war you still need to support soldiers. On the other hand I would never say anything to another person for not having one on their car. I also thank every soldier that I meet for serving because he/she didn’t have to but because they did I can sleep better at night.
I have sent cards and donated money to support troops and have had family on both sides serve in the military along with a father who worked as a civilian contractor overseas in the Middle East for most my life. I have very mixed feelings about the war in some ways I do really support it but I hate what it is doing to this country and all the loss of life.
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October 16th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
A marine friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in years was hanging around my car outside of a bar one night (we were waiting for a taxi to come pick our drunk asses up) and he said, “You don’t have one of those stupid support our troops magnets do you?” “No, just one about Rome.” “Good. Don’t ever get one. I hate them.” So I haven’t… and continue to have my Rome one… which says “Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing those that opposed them.”
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November 3rd, 2007 at 9:45 pm
When I bought my car, used, it had a crumbling yellow magnet on it that the sorosititute whose car it was had put on.
I peeled it off my car in front of a captain stationed at Bragg, near Lillington. He said “Good. I hate those damn things. You don’t need to advertise like that.”
Now to find time to volunteer at the USO at RDU :-\
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November 3rd, 2007 at 9:46 pm
When I bought my car, used, it had a crumbling yellow magnet on it that the sorosititute whose car it was had put on.
I peeled it off my car in front of a captain stationed at Bragg, near Lillington. He said “Good. I hate those damn things. You don’t need to advertise like that.”
I pretty much view magnets like that, of any kind, as a warning label: Idiot at the wheel
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November 5th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Wonder if those were the same “ladies” that gave me that same garbage about those stupid magnets at the grocery store last year? I dragged them around to the other side of my car, and reading from the top down, explained the stickers I DO have. Number 1: “Fly Army”, for my nephew in the 82nd Airborne, stationed in Afghanistan. Number 2: the Marine Corp emblem, for my nephew in Iraq, the bomb-disposal specialist. Number 3: one for the United States Submarine Veterans, in honor of my father.
What do I do to support the troops, annoying parking-lot ladies? I’ve “adopted” both my nephews’ units, Army and Marines, and am doing my best to make sure every one of ’em gets birthday cards and packages. Also ‘fun’ packages for each whole unit to share (like the boxes of a couple dozen kites a couple months ago, or the recent Halloween box, or the Christmas collections I’m working on now), plus of course the usual books and magazines. And, in conjunction with the local unit of the SubVets (I’m proud to say, I’m an associate member), we’ve adopted a submarine and her crew: ditto on the cards and packages. And finally, one more ‘troop’ I support: I was only IN that parking lot for those magnet-freaks to irratate because I was doing my father’s weekly shopping— my father, who enlisted in the Navy on his seventeenth birthday, and served for the next thirty-two years.
No, I don’t have any damn magnets!
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November 6th, 2007 at 5:51 am
You want to support the troops? How about starting an “Adopt-a-Grunt” program? Find some local kid over there and start corresponding with him, find out what he needs to make his life and those of his barracks buds just a little easier, and send it to him on a regular basis? Let the guy/gal know they’re not alone out there.
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November 9th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Here’s an amusings kit concerning the things.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/222
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November 10th, 2007 at 6:19 am
That….is so convincing.
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November 19th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
I dont have any Magnets either, but then I drive a Saturn and its mostly plastic so they dont stick, I do have my DoD Registration on the windshield proclaiming I am an NCO, and a US RESERVES license plate plus 24 years in Air Force and AF Reserves plus one son in the Air Force, another on delayed enlistment. I can’t begin to count how much money we have spent sending care packages overseas to my son to share with his fellow Airmen, or the dinners we cooked for dorm/barracks rats when we were stationed in Europe. My wife and I regularly mail packages to the deployed Airmen we know over in the AOR (Fried Pork rinds are a treat)I do have a couple of AF logos on my car, but no bumper stickers, the Florida sun bleaches them out too fast. When my son(s) deploy, we will be sure to send them all the care packages they can handle, and make sure they have enough “gum” for everyone in formation. In the mean time, I am an AF MSgt (Reserves) and a DoD contractor doing my best to make sure that the folks currently fighting for us have all the toys they need to get the job done and come home safely.
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November 30th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
i’ll admit, i had one for a while. but i bought it from the family support group for my national guard unit. they did awesome work so anytime they sold anything, i bought it.
amen on the rome statement btw
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December 3rd, 2007 at 4:17 am
I’m a fifteen year old girl from Chicago and recently my family and I moved to the middle of the Bible Belt in Missouri. Currently I am attending a small public high school that just finished a care package program for the soilders. We gathered hundreds of DVDs, toothbrushes, and Ramen (lots of Ramen). However, before all this we were given a list of ideas of what we could gather for this massive care package. We were also encouraged to come up with ideas of our own. So, being among the sick,twisted,and (it turns out) stupid persons of our school, I asked if we could bring in Men’s entertainment magazines,such as Penthouse or Playboy. I SWEAR TO GOD I only had realization of what I said after I said it. I was sent straight to the principal’s office, and threatened with a two week suspension which could morph into an expulsion. Thankfully, I was cleared of all charges, when a miricle phone-call came from the super-intendent himself. Later that week upon my 16 year old male friend’s reccomendation, I brought in the movies Animal House, Knocked-Up, and The 40-year-old Virgin. I would like to say at this point that teenage angst and a sever measure of pent-up pissed-off feelings was behind this act. Now, I have a week’s detetion sentence and a story to tell.
Hope you enjoyed the story Skippy, it is somewhat true, my school really did hold a care package drive, and I really did have that idea;luckily, my “stop” button training came in at the last second due to the number of incidents that is forming my own list of things I am no longer allowed to do. Instead, I sent in Hostess Cupcakes and Little Debbie Brownies. Overall, I hope I made you giggle for more than 15 seconds.
Cheers,
Don’tCallMePoot
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December 28th, 2007 at 6:34 am
A friend of mine (who was in the Navy at the time) was accosted by a teenager in a store parking lot with much the same idiocy of comments. She explained how she had been in the Navy for 12 years at that point, and went on to question why his “oh-so-patriotic” head wasn’t shaved and his ass in fatigues :)
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January 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 am
Dammit, I never thought it would happen: but I have actually, finally, seen a magnet that makes sense — and I can guarentee that the guy who has this on his car, DOES support his ribbon’s cause, in every way he can. It’s a pale green magnet with yellow edging, and I swear to you Skippy, it says “Support Strippers!”
(I’ve asked him to pick up a bunch to put in my next care package…..)
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January 8th, 2008 at 6:17 am
We may have one of those magnets, (I personally think it’s tacky,) but we also send money and food to the army as well. Best of both worlds. And my sister is seriously considering enlisting as a medic. If she actually does, she could beat up any ground-pounder into the dirt. The muscles in this girl’s arms are larger than my thighs. Twelve years of softball’ll do that to ya.
My Grandfather was a marine, then an FBI before retiring. (RIP Grandpa) Trust me, we take pride in helping our troops.
As for why I haven’t enlisted myself? I’m an art major. ‘Nough said.
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January 12th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I was in on my way home from work one day while still stationed at Fort Hood just after returning from the desert. I pulled my truck into the gas station off post to fill up. One of the local “Holier-than-thou” women circled my truck and asked my why I didn’t have a support sticker on it. I was slightly confused about this, but I said I didn’t feel like I needed one on my truck. Bear in mind that I was just off work and on my way home…still in uniform!!! She had the audacity to start to lecture me on how it was unpatriotic in this day and age to ont show your support for the soldiers. Close to losing my bearing, I asked her as calmly as I could muster whether or not she had lost her mind. When she asked me what I do to show support for the troops…I lost it…badly…and publicly. I simply told her to follow me, and went into the store to pay for my gas.
When I got in the store, I loudly told everyone that this woman was wondering what I do to support the troops. Apparently, the woman’s level of respect in the community went down sharply and quickly, because everyone in the store went off.
Since then, I have always made it a point to look at someone for obvious signs relating to what I am about to ask. Don’t ask a man in a wheelchair about his best time in the 40 yard dash. Figure out whether a woman is large or pregnant and act accordingly. And (I used to assume most obviously…)don’t ask a soldier in uniform what he/she does to support the troops since they don’t have a yellow support sticker on their car. Of course, the Darwin awards probably need some new candidates…
I do have a sticker on my car now…an EOD memorial sticker…made solely for the EOD memorial to which all proceeds go.
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January 18th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Why don’t I send care packages? Or those ribbons/magnets/whatever? I’m a sophmore in high school. I can’t afford stuff like that. I do pray for them though.
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January 19th, 2008 at 2:55 am
hey the jack
im enlisted and thats about all i ask of those that arent enlisted and thanks to skippy and everyone like him us soldiers can get a few laughs
my favorite magnet says support our troops become one
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February 17th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
As I recall (and I’m old enough to remember) the song “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” was all about putting money in the pockets of Tony Orlando and Dawn. Yellow ribbons tied around trees became the big thing when our hostages were in captivity in Iran, and later seemed to be used for any hostage in general.
Only in the last decade has it represented deployed service personnel.
My favorite magnetic ribbon simply says “Empty Gesture”.
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February 27th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
“Some asshole stole my support magnet.”
If you can get support from a magnet you must have steel balls.
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March 16th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
[…] funnyordie.com photo http://skippyslist.com/ […]
March 31st, 2008 at 11:20 pm
I want one of these on a magnet. For some reason, they don’t seem to be available commercially.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a4/Mines_warning_sign.jpg/800px-Mines_warning_sign.jpg
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April 29th, 2008 at 3:43 am
Oh, come on. None of you are familiar with “Around her hair she wore a yellow ribbon?” I know for a fact that it goes back to at least a John Wayne movie about the cavalry. Hollywood being what it was (and still is), I can’t make any claims to yellow ribbons going back to the 19th century, but it goes back to at least John Wayne.
And isn’t that patriotic enough? :p
(Supporting the troops as a 19D)
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T'chung MayMay reply on May 21st, 2008 4:35 am:
I know that one of our marching cadences is the yellow ribbon one. It’s one of my favorites, in face, because there are so many possibilities to branch out with it…=)
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May 21st, 2013 at 2:52 pm
Wait, they let you keep the Ft. Bragg parking sticker? i would have though they would have taken it so you couldn’t come back
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