1) Our 6th grade teacher, an ex-Marine, told the class about how he managed to glue himself to some construction materials, quite firmly, and with superheated glue, too, but how this was such a fun learning experience, due to the oblivious bliss of paramedic-administered morphine IV, multiple doses. Good man!

2) Our high school health class mostly consisted of the teacher’s reminiscing on his psychonautic youth. He sounded like he quite missed having no idea who the hell he was making out with while watching interesting colours on the wall. Effin nostalgic hippie…

3) Everyone was so damn paranoid about being PC that, in a conversation about SUPER-HEAVY ACNE, recommending proper facial hygiene to a black kid got you suspended and nearly expelled.

4) The COLLEGE-LEVEL CALCULUS teacher, a withered hag dated circa 80 made you take detailed notes on her stories about being cool with dem kids and surfing with her husband like the youth of the day back in the 60s. Then, she *checked* your surfing notes. Needless to say, despite reaching science major level maths by 10th grade, I later dropped out of an engineering school – due to difficulties with the maths.

5) The science teacher sold his (school property?) boa constrictor to the school’s #1 Bad Girl. And the chick got suspended some 5 minutes later for possession of a deadly weapon on school campus (the aforementioned snake).

6) Another science instructor believed that a millilitre was 1/1,000,000 of a litre, religiously, and preached said heresy with the utmost conviction.

7) Physical education was taught by a blob so gender-ambiguous it responded to both “Ms.” and “Mr.”, was alternatively addressed both ways by all school administration, and freely roamed both locker rooms at will. Oh, and its crazy dog with mismatched eyes tended to make lap days really interesting, by, you know, trying to EAT the students.

8) Stabbing people with pens was a lot more acceptable than Possession of Advil.

9) Kids with highly active intercultural social lives, lacking even a single friend with a command of their native language, stayed in the lowest-level ESL classes for years, figuring that having to learn anything in school was quite superfluous. And then turned around and got into good colleges, despite supposedly knowing all of 10 words of English. The highly professional staff never caught on. Cause, hey, the Japanese, Korean, and Chinese trio of best buddies in their Know-no-English-whatsoever class understand each other perfectly on account of all being Asian!

10) The Ukrainian chick got tired of explaining to teachers where one of the largest countries in Europe was, and elected to become Russian instead. To the history teacher, that just confirmed his old theory that his class was being infiltrated by “freakin’ Commies”, which he voiced loudly, time and again.

11) The New Age gnome teaching mythology put such a spin on everything and anything that nothing even stood out or surprised us anymore. And 60-year old biker cat lady, who also drove a Porsche that she parked in the disabled spot, gave us amazing insight into morality issues in classical literature.

12) The early-middle-aged vice principal, known for never being seen without a piece of cake in hand, anytime, anywhere, preached the most convincing heartfelt sermons on the evils of teenage smoking. Problem is, the bloke soon ate himself to death by clinical obesity (400+ kilos), and got the school parking lot named after him, memorial plaque and all.

13) The most straightforward, meaningful, practical, and absolutely hypocrisy-free lesson came from the construction foreman fixing up school grounds: he casually mentioned that, while book learnin’ was fun and all, after barely finishing high school and a couple years of apprenticeship, he was making nearly a hundred grand and was certainly the highest-paid individual on campus. “See, kids, Advanced Basket Weaving at Liberal Arts College is nice and all, but actual job skills are the key to stably puttin’ food on yer family’s table and never worrying about the Pits of Debt or how to survive tomorrow.” …95% of the graduating class went on the ten-year plan to a Bachelor’s in Psychology anyway. Last I checked up on them, some are in debt, others in prison, and no one has made a hundred grand yet.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_blood_blue_or_red

Take that elementary school teachers!

Captcha “(something I cant Identify) defective” Yes captcha you are defective.

When I was in seventh grade, I heard the following conversation between three eighth grade girls as our history teacher watched, dumbfounded.

“The capitol of texas is in Dallas!”
“No it’s not, silly, it’s in Houston!”
*Proceeds like this for a bit and then another girl walks up and hears the arguement*
“Oh my gosh, yall are both wrong! Everybody knows that the capitol is in San Antonio!”

Mind you, this is in Texas, and seventh grade history means Texas history. My history teacher couldn’t believe that she hadn’t been able to teach these girls even so simple a fact as where our state capitol was.